It's probably PMS.
I actually cried on Friday when Chia suddenly told me and my friends that she wanted to be a doctor. She pisses me off a lot but I think she SHOULD be a doctor, despite the fact that she had chosen the social stream in high school, nevertheless I still think she has a big shot, I mean, she's THAT smart, and although it annoys me sometimes when she reminisces her glorious days in 10th grade, I have to admit that she was really good with science and all the crap that I flunked on, and that she's wasting her true potential. Not that social class is bad or anything, but when it doesn't fit you, it simply would not. And the way she interacts with people - especially me - made me wonder of whether or not she actually likes people. She scowls at and about them all the time.
My mom said sometimes I think too much of other people and it's kinda true. I mean, it's not my business, but I sometimes feel like I need to interfere, either it's because I wanna help them, or I just have pretty much nothing going on in my life that I felt like meddling around in other people's business. My brother went into a rage when he found out I tweeted something about his girlfriend, which was meant to be a joke, but I guess we had different senses of humor; the effects of being in going to a public school has rubbed onto me; I sound super kampungan and rude now.
Anyways, my friends got really stressed out about determining their choices for the upcoming SNMPTN Undangan. They're still not sure of whether or not they wanna play safe or gamble their way to reach their dreams. Funny thing, they start talking to me about their problems and I don't know what to do or say. I try to give them the best advice that I could think of but then again I'm afraid that what I said might mislead them. I have this urge to always help people that call out for help, but I'm just a kid, and right now I'm not much different than they are, not everything is set in stone yet, not even for me.
While practically everyone told me I've got nothing to worry about - btw the school had confirmed that I placed first in class last semester - I still have my doubts. My mom told me to relax and focus on my finals since I haven't done any preparation, but I simply can't. The thought of only 36 out of approximately 2400 applicants would get into Ilmu Ekonomi UI stresses me out too often. No one in class wanted to take that major, and by far that has put me in a safe position for the social stream, but several science students are considering Ilmu Ekonomi UI and it scares me to death that they might beat me up. And the thing is, although my school is one of the strongest contender in university admissions, I still have kids from other school to worry about. A teacher once said to me "Nggak cuma anak 8 yang pinter" and it's true, sometimes I find it hilarious when my friends think that being first in class guarantees you a spot in UI or ITB, for God's sake you're not only competing with your schoolmates, there are other kids to take into consideration and there's a considerable amount that are far smarter than you.
I don't know what I'll do if things don't work out as planned. I'm so not ready for SNMPTN Tertulis, but I would not dare to change my major option. Enrolling into Ilmu Ekonomi UI has been my dream since 10th grade, and even though sometimes I think of it as a result from the brainwash my mom had performed on me since junior high, it's the only social major that I'm interested in. Other people hate graphics and curves while I found them rather interesting, not to mention it's pretty much the one major that requires your math skill and I like math. Scratch that, I LOVE MATH, it's the only subject that I'm good at, I know it's weird that I score better in math than in any other social subjects, but truth be told the only social subject that I've ever liked is econs, the others suck big time.
I actually cried on Friday when Chia suddenly told me and my friends that she wanted to be a doctor. She pisses me off a lot but I think she SHOULD be a doctor, despite the fact that she had chosen the social stream in high school, nevertheless I still think she has a big shot, I mean, she's THAT smart, and although it annoys me sometimes when she reminisces her glorious days in 10th grade, I have to admit that she was really good with science and all the crap that I flunked on, and that she's wasting her true potential. Not that social class is bad or anything, but when it doesn't fit you, it simply would not. And the way she interacts with people - especially me - made me wonder of whether or not she actually likes people. She scowls at and about them all the time.
My mom said sometimes I think too much of other people and it's kinda true. I mean, it's not my business, but I sometimes feel like I need to interfere, either it's because I wanna help them, or I just have pretty much nothing going on in my life that I felt like meddling around in other people's business. My brother went into a rage when he found out I tweeted something about his girlfriend, which was meant to be a joke, but I guess we had different senses of humor; the effects of being in going to a public school has rubbed onto me; I sound super kampungan and rude now.
Anyways, my friends got really stressed out about determining their choices for the upcoming SNMPTN Undangan. They're still not sure of whether or not they wanna play safe or gamble their way to reach their dreams. Funny thing, they start talking to me about their problems and I don't know what to do or say. I try to give them the best advice that I could think of but then again I'm afraid that what I said might mislead them. I have this urge to always help people that call out for help, but I'm just a kid, and right now I'm not much different than they are, not everything is set in stone yet, not even for me.
While practically everyone told me I've got nothing to worry about - btw the school had confirmed that I placed first in class last semester - I still have my doubts. My mom told me to relax and focus on my finals since I haven't done any preparation, but I simply can't. The thought of only 36 out of approximately 2400 applicants would get into Ilmu Ekonomi UI stresses me out too often. No one in class wanted to take that major, and by far that has put me in a safe position for the social stream, but several science students are considering Ilmu Ekonomi UI and it scares me to death that they might beat me up. And the thing is, although my school is one of the strongest contender in university admissions, I still have kids from other school to worry about. A teacher once said to me "Nggak cuma anak 8 yang pinter" and it's true, sometimes I find it hilarious when my friends think that being first in class guarantees you a spot in UI or ITB, for God's sake you're not only competing with your schoolmates, there are other kids to take into consideration and there's a considerable amount that are far smarter than you.
I should probably stop talking about school before I explode.
I ordered a softball glove online, it's a yellow Zett glove. I had the urge to buy a new one because my old one reeks real bad and is super flappy. But when the glove arrived, I suddenly thought, "man, I don't wanna play softball anymore." I joined the ILL Tournament btw, and I sucked. I didn't struck out, not even once, but probably gotten less than 5 hits. And I didn't even pitch at all. By far one of the worst tournament I've ever joined. I guess this is what you get for skipping practice for 1,5 years. Everyone has gotten really good and I still suck like a newbie. I regret not practicing but then again if I kept on playing maybe my scores wouldn't be this good. So I guess it was worth it. I want to play again, I really do, but sometimes the thought of having to go to Senayan every Friday and Sunday bores the crap outta me. So I'm still divided.
My upperclassmen from UI gave a presentation about the uni on Thursday. The ones in economics.......err, I don't know, they seem real fun and it definitely made me want to get into FEUI even more. They gave me a sticker too (it was badly cut so I had to trim off the sides first) and I immediately stuck it on my binder to boost up my motivation. Someone else also came to school on Thursday: my crappy ex who looks like Abed from Community (btw you gotta watch that show, it's fucking hilarious, no kidding) but he really made my day; he finally gave me a birthday present, it's a pair of red Urbanears Tanto headset that I've always wanted to buy but never had the money to make the purchase. I wanted the Plattan headset but it was too pricey so I settled for the cheaper one. Days leading up to our meeting, I chat with him frequently through BBM because he wanted to check on which color would I want, blah blah blah. I really miss talking to him, though. He always made me laugh. But now he's busy with college, I'm busy being a 12th grader, and all of a sudden it seemed like our conversation became more and more awkward so we don't chat as much as we used to.
I guess that's probably it for now. I'll post pictures later because I'm in no mood to upload them right now. Anyways I've got try-outs next week and I haven't done any preparation yet. I'm panicked but yet at the same time have absolutely no urge to start studying............whatevs, see you around, folks!
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