amirazaranadia

Everything Looks Better in Black and White

2012-01-30T02:05:00.000-08:00

My loyal companion last week

The sticker that I got from my seniors in 8 who are currently attending FEUI

I guess this pretty much summed up everything about me and Mesis. We had our picture taken for the yearbook last week. The headset was the one I received from Hafizh a few weeks back.

I had to crop Endy out. A sok-artistic photo I took of Arin and Baput during yesterday's yearbook photo shoot.

I should be studying right now.

I skipped school today. Yesterday was a long and tiring day, and to be perfectly honest I can't really see what's the point of attending school since I can't use my time there to study effectively. That, and the fact that I was to lazy to drag myself to the bathroom earlier today. Not to mention I still have other stuffs that I need to finish and I was trying to avoid Pak Priyo and the weekly flag ceremony, both of which did not show up nor occur as I have expected beforehand. Short to say, I've had plenty of reasons to not attend school today.

I initially planned to study but as always, I got distracted. When I woke up, few people started tweeting "Alhamdulillah" I got suspicious so I went on to ask one of my classmate to ask about what that was all about. Turns out they - the guidance counselors - have mapped out our scores for SNMPTN Undangan. And then this classmate of mine went on to congratulate me. She told me I placed first in the social stream. Now, I know that there is less competition since there are only approximately 45 students in the social stream (37 in the regular class, 8 in the international class) whilst 376 students are enrolled in the science program. Nevertheless, I consider some as tough competitors, our scores don't differ much from one another. I never thought I would place first, since my calculation had shown me that I would probably land second or third, so this is kind of a surprise. I'm still pretty thankful though. And I hope this will enlarge my opportunity to get accepted in FEUI.

I had tryouts last week. They sucked, but so far the scores that I have received - although far from what I expect to get for my real national examination, turned out okay - despite the fact that I didn't study at all and preferred to watch Community instead. But there's still much to work out on, especially geography, which is probably the one subject that I suck at most.

My class had a yearbook photo shoot yesterday. To be perfectly honest they annoy the hell out of me. I mean, seriously, they were too busy taking narcissistic pictures of themselves while I had to work hard to make sure all the required pictures are taken. Not to mention some kids wore inappropriate clothing and I had to try to figure out how to make them look decent. To top it all off, one of my classmate ran out of the studio because she felt uncomfortable when being bossed around by the photographer. And until now I still have no idea of her whereabouts, my friends told me earlier today that she didn't show up for school this morning. An accumulation of this wrath and anger resulted in me yelling at...........almost everyone. I know I'm not supposed to do that but sometimes it is necessary to let people know you're angry.

Well, I guess that's pretty much it for now. I'll see you around when I feel like writing again. Toodle-o!

Screwed

2012-01-22T04:01:00.001-08:00

It's probably PMS.

I actually cried on Friday when Chia suddenly told me and my friends that she wanted to be a doctor. She pisses me off a lot but I think she SHOULD be a doctor, despite the fact that she had chosen the social stream in high school, nevertheless I still think she has a big shot, I mean, she's THAT smart, and although it annoys me sometimes when she reminisces her glorious days in 10th grade, I have to admit that she was really good with science and all the crap that I flunked on, and that she's wasting her true potential. Not that social class is bad or anything, but when it doesn't fit you, it simply would not. And the way she interacts with people - especially me - made me wonder of whether or not she actually likes people. She scowls at and about them all the time.

My mom said sometimes I think too much of other people and it's kinda true. I mean, it's not my business, but I sometimes feel like I need to interfere, either it's because I wanna help them, or I just have pretty much nothing going on in my life that I felt like meddling around in other people's business. My brother went into a rage when he found out I tweeted something about his girlfriend, which was meant to be a joke, but I guess we had different senses of humor; the effects of being in going to a public school has rubbed onto me; I sound super kampungan and rude now.

Anyways, my friends got really stressed out about determining their choices for the upcoming SNMPTN Undangan. They're still not sure of whether or not they wanna play safe or gamble their way to reach their dreams. Funny thing, they start talking to me about their problems and I don't know what to do or say. I try to give them the best advice that I could think of but then again I'm afraid that what I said might mislead them. I have this urge to always help people that call out for help, but I'm just a kid, and right now I'm not much different than they are, not everything is set in stone yet, not even for me.

While practically everyone told me I've got nothing to worry about - btw the school had confirmed that I placed first in class last semester - I still have my doubts. My mom told me to relax and focus on my finals since I haven't done any preparation, but I simply can't. The thought of only 36 out of approximately 2400 applicants would get into Ilmu Ekonomi UI stresses me out too often. No one in class wanted to take that major, and by far that has put me in a safe position for the social stream, but several science students are considering Ilmu Ekonomi UI and it scares me to death that they might beat me up. And the thing is, although my school is one of the strongest contender in university admissions, I still have kids from other school to worry about. A teacher once said to me "Nggak cuma anak 8 yang pinter" and it's true, sometimes I find it hilarious when my friends think that being first in class guarantees you a spot in UI or ITB, for God's sake you're not only competing with your schoolmates, there are other kids to take into consideration and there's a considerable amount that are far smarter than you.

I don't know what I'll do if things don't work out as planned. I'm so not ready for SNMPTN Tertulis, but I would not dare to change my major option. Enrolling into Ilmu Ekonomi UI has been my dream since 10th grade, and even though sometimes I think of it as a result from the brainwash my mom had performed on me since junior high, it's the only social major that I'm interested in. Other people hate graphics and curves while I found them rather interesting, not to mention it's pretty much the one major that requires your math skill and I like math. Scratch that, I LOVE MATH, it's the only subject that I'm good at, I know it's weird that I score better in math than in any other social subjects, but truth be told the only social subject that I've ever liked is econs, the others suck big time.

I should probably stop talking about school before I explode.

I ordered a softball glove online, it's a yellow Zett glove. I had the urge to buy a new one because my old one reeks real bad and is super flappy. But when the glove arrived, I suddenly thought, "man, I don't wanna play softball anymore." I joined the ILL Tournament btw, and I sucked. I didn't struck out, not even once, but probably gotten less than 5 hits. And I didn't even pitch at all. By far one of the worst tournament I've ever joined. I guess this is what you get for skipping practice for 1,5 years. Everyone has gotten really good and I still suck like a newbie. I regret not practicing but then again if I kept on playing maybe my scores wouldn't be this good. So I guess it was worth it. I want to play again, I really do, but sometimes the thought of having to go to Senayan every Friday and Sunday bores the crap outta me. So I'm still divided.

My upperclassmen from UI gave a presentation about the uni on Thursday. The ones in economics.......err, I don't know, they seem real fun and it definitely made me want to get into FEUI even more. They gave me a sticker too (it was badly cut so I had to trim off the sides first) and I immediately stuck it on my binder to boost up my motivation. Someone else also came to school on Thursday: my crappy ex who looks like Abed from Community (btw you gotta watch that show, it's fucking hilarious, no kidding) but he really made my day; he finally gave me a birthday present, it's a pair of red Urbanears Tanto headset that I've always wanted to buy but never had the money to make the purchase. I wanted the Plattan headset but it was too pricey so I settled for the cheaper one. Days leading up to our meeting, I chat with him frequently through BBM because he wanted to check on which color would I want, blah blah blah. I really miss talking to him, though. He always made me laugh. But now he's busy with college, I'm busy being a 12th grader, and all of a sudden it seemed like our conversation became more and more awkward so we don't chat as much as we used to.

I guess that's probably it for now. I'll post pictures later because I'm in no mood to upload them right now. Anyways I've got try-outs next week and I haven't done any preparation yet. I'm panicked but yet at the same time have absolutely no urge to start studying............whatevs, see you around, folks!

Christmas Post

2011-12-24T20:26:00.000-08:00

Pictures from Turnamen Pelajar XII

MERRY CHRISTMAS UNTUK SIAPAPUN YANG MERAYAKAN!

It's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted and I have sooooo much to tell you guys. First off, I've got a new camera. A Canon 600D with a 18-155 mm EF lenses. I finally have an SLR, after such a long wait~ I'm not that much of a photography fan but my old camera is getting really outdated, it's a 7 megapixel camera that my dad bought when I was still in 4th grade, even the newest iPhone has a better camera resolution than that. It took me such a long time to finally convince my dad to buy a new camera. My parents made me chip in, though. I paid for a quarter of it, but whatevs.

I've got my report card. It was quite pleasing but I was super shocked when I learned that I ranked 10th in class. I noticed something weird about the rankings, and finally found out that they actually ranked us based on our religion studies scores instead of our average scores. My mom filed a complaint and the school confirmed that the rankings was wrong. I can't believe the school could actually miss that, didn't they check the data before they published it? It could have done a serious damage if no one noticed that it was wrong. ARGH PUBLIC SCHOOLS................. Anyways, I took a picture of the score ledger, and actually inputted them into Excel to get the correct rankings. The results were satisfying (and they seemed to be correct) but still, it's not an official data and I would have to wait for the school to publish them. But overall, my average scores rocketed further than I have expected, thank God for that.

What else, humm, I'm currently joining Turnamen Pelajar with my school teams, the one and only Bukit Duri Beavers. The baseball team is okay, they're quite good, actually, but my softball team, well.........to sum it all up, they suck. They really do and they get to my nerves often. I mean, seriously, the ball went no further than the gravel and they still couldn't make an out? But then again, there's not much to expect from these kids, seeing how new they are and how they only practice, like what, once a month? Not that I'm any good either, but........well, you pretty much get what I'm talking about, right? We lost all of our matches, but it was fun, though. I had a great time, and we still have one match left after Christmas. We're gonna screw up, I know, but who cares if we're having fun, right? OH and I also took a picture with Kak Adi~ woohoo! Okay, here's the thing, I've known him since 8th grade; I saw him in the field quite often back then. But I didn't get to know him personally until I joined Beavers. Sure, I took a picture with him on Beavers's birthday a few months back, but this one's different, he put his arms around my shoulder!!!!!!!! *penting* wkwk, why am I turning into such a fangirl. Not that I like him or anything, I'm just a big fan, that's all.

I'm gonna join ILL this January. I put my name in last minute, I just miss playing softball SO MUCH.....I haven't practiced in, I don't know, it's been what, one and a half year since I last came to my club's practice. Let's just hope I still have it in me, pitching skills, that is. Not that I had any or whatsoever, but there was a time when I could control the direction of my pitch~

I guess that's pretty much it for now. My birthday's tomorrow, btw. Not that anyone would actually give a damn or anything.............see y'all later!

Miss Me?

2011-12-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

Finally nyuci film. These were shots I took with my Diana camera during my trip to Europe. I'm not good, some of the pictures are super blurry, but taking pictures was fun fun fuuuuun~

HEYYA BITCHEZ HOW ARE YOUUUUU?

It's been a month or so since I last posted, not that I have forgotten about you or anything, I just got really caught up with my activities, untungnya sekarang sudah libur!!!!!! We've got a lot of catching up to do so I'm gonna start right away.

First off, I have just finished two weeks of torture at school, or more commonly known as sumatif or semester finals, or whatever. My formative scores sucked so I was really hoping to get a 90-streak on all of my finals so that I could maintain my average score from last semester. I didn't get a 90-streak (who does?) but my scores were quite pleasing. No remedials, and I only got 2 7s (buat sumatif, that is) semoga nilai sumatif ngaruh banget di rapor. It wasn't a free pass, however. I studied real hard for some subject, I didn't sleep the night before my religion and German test because I took a really long nap in the afternoon, then I found out that I am probably allergic to caffeine; I drank a cup of coffee to keep myself awake and ended up feeling drowsy the next morning, I actually puked my stomach out in my car. Other than that, I get approximately 4-5 hours of sleep a night, I know it's bad but I can't afford getting bad scores............I worked hard, but not THAT hard. I didn't even study for some subjects, sociology for example, I guess I was just so fed up with my teacher and his tests that it seemed like studying would not make a difference. I studied for my PE test - yes, we have a written PE test - longer than I did for my sociology test, my mom was furious and started mumbling about how PE is not important and how I should sort out my priorities and study for the important subjects instead. I ended up falling asleep that night, and I panicked because I've only read 5 chapters out of the 20 chapters (YES, 20!!!!!) that he told us to study from. I actually planned to skip the day, but then I wouldn't want to redo the test the week after so I gathered my guts and gave it all I got. Somehow, by God's will, I managed to score the highest in class. Believe me when I say this - God is fair. I know, reading for my story, it seemed like He's not, but really, you don't know how much score-related-pain that I have gone through during this last semester. He appreciates your effort, always keep that in mind.

I didn't score as high as I have expected for English, Japanese, math and accounting. I don't get it, I've never scored anywhere above 90 for accounting whilst it was one of my best subjects in 11th grade. I understood the concept but I don't know what on earth happened with my scores. But then my mom told me, "would you rather get 100 for accounting and flunk your other tests or get a so-so score for it and yet pass all the tests?" Another proof of how fair God really is.

Alright, cukup ngomongin itu. Next subject. Humph. I went on a diet last month. It lasted for a month, the first few days was hell, I wasn't allowed to eat anything and could only drink coconut water. I liked coconut water before, but I definitely DON'T now. I only lost 4,5 kgs, but a final total of 15 cm off my waist and another 13 cm off my hips, so it was worth it. Not to mention, I feel really full if I eat the way I ate before, so it provided me with ways to limit myself from binge eating. Part of my weight lost was owed to Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred video. I HATED IT, I REALLY DID, it only lasted for 20 minutes but it was EPIC TORTURE. I was supposed to do it for 30 days, but then finals came up and I'm not sure about whether or not I could stay awake after the exercise, it was brutal and made me really tired and sore afterwards, but again, it was worth it. I'm thinking about starting over, since now I've got a lot of free time, but we'll see about that later on.

I've started my SAT Prep. I'm planning to take it on January. I've been having second thoughts, however, about applying to US unis. I don't think I'm ready, to live all by myself and stuffs like that. Other than that I'm planning to come back to work in Indonesia, a thought that I have once despised. It's a whole other story, we'll get to that later. But there's nothing wrong with taking the SAT Prep, so that's where you'd find me every Saturday, from 9 to 2. We've got 12 kids in our class, I don't know their names, except for Ghea (my schoolmate) and my brother, Omargh. I heard that's there's one kid from my school too, but she's in year 10 so I had no idea and she hasn't shown up for class since finals began. The teacher, Daniel, is American. He's kinda fun, and is really American..........gatau lagi mau deskripsiin dia gimana.

Hummm, what else? I went to The 34th Jazz Goes To Campus Festival last Sunday. It's held in FEUI, my dream school~ I didn't wanna go at first, because I was in the middle of my exams, and I had geography the day after. But then this one incident happened and one thing led to another, and I ended up hitchhiking at 3 PM on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Pasar Minggu to get to UI. Not exactly hitchhiking sih, sebenernya nebeng, but my father just dropped me in front of a gas station di daerah sana karena emang rumah doi jauh dari rumah gue terus ujung-ujungnya gue kaya anak ilang nyari mobil. I went there with Avia, we went there with Kak Eja, he's Avia's ex, nah ini cerita lucu yang lebih panjang lagi tapi gapenting so let's skip that wkwk. Tapi sampe disana Kak Eja ninggalin kita................dia bergabung sama teman-teman FEUI-nya, jadilah gue bertiga sama Avia and one of her bandmate. I got backstage passes from Avia's friend wkwkwk, tapi lo tau apa yang gue kerjakan di backstage..........I studied geography. I studied in freakin FEUI wkwk. And then it rained so I went home, the shows were fun, there's this one band that really caught my eye - or ear - they were REALLY good, mau beli CD-nya ah. I ended up belajar geografi 3 jam, dari jam 9, and only 3 hours because I didn't use my weekend to nyicil or anything. At first I thought going to JGTC was gonna be one thing that I'm gonna regret, abisnya kan besoknya gue ulangan, dan gue literally mau nangis ngerjain ulangan geo. Nangis penyesalan karena gak belajar. Tapi tiba-tiba...........nilai geo gue bagus. Jadi alhamdulillah, belajar di FEUI saved my fuckin ass wkwk.

OH, I lost my pencil case on Monday. I know, I know, you probably think it's only a pencil case, not worth crying over for. But I had 1 million rupiah in it, uang kelas yang belom gue setorin di bank. Wouldn't you feel like slitting your throat open if you lost that much money? Tapi emang pada dasarnya 8 sekolah ajaib, I told my vice principal about it and they found it on Wednesday~ it got me really distracted on Tuesday, gue nggak fokus ngerjain ekonomi and I was probably going to shoot my head if the loss of my pencil case caused me to flunk it, but God showed his mercy and gave me a good score for econs~

Terus gue jadi addicted banget sama yang namanya 9gag. Terkutuk lah orang yang bikin gue tau keberadaan 9gag, siapa tuh waktu itu di Twitter.

Alright, I guess that's all for today, I gotta get up early tomorrow buat tes renang. See ya later, alligator!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-11-01T04:53:00.000-07:00

Kemaren upacara panji. Terus gue gaikut karena telat. Lagian gue juga emang males ikut...........ngapain lo diri dua jam nontonin gituan. Tapi bukan itu yang mau gue omongin. Seiring dengan dilantiknya OSIS periode selanjutnya, berarti OSIS sekarang udah lengser, otomatis subsi-subsi dibawahnya ikutan demisioner.

Sebelom mulai, mending gue jelasin subsi itu apa.

Susah juga sih jelasinnya. Emang konsepnya sebenernya kurang lebih kaya ekskul, tapi with a broader ruang lingkup. Say, ekskul sepak bola dan basket itu tergabung di subsi olah raga, band sama tari tradisional art, blablabla. Dan semua anak wajib ikutan subsi. Walaupun sebenernya gue nggak setuju sama konsep ini, mengingat nggak semua orang bisa bertanggung jawab terhadap tugas mereka masing-masing, tapi yaudah lah terima aja. Motto gue di 8 sekarang: terima aja. Karena emang sistemnya rigid banget sampe if you dare to criticize = pembangkang.

Anyways, gue ikut subsi Media Siswa. Atau singkatnya Mesis. Pokoknya ini subsi yang nanganin segala hal yang berbau media, mulai dari majalah sekolah sampe buku tahunan. Ada 5 divisi: cyber, majalah, film, fotografi, sama komik. Kebetulan gue emang suka nulis jadi gue masuk divisi majalah.

Perjalanan gue selama 2 tahun terakhir bersama Mesis ini............banyak ups and downs nya. Waktu perekrutan, by some reason gue angkat tangan buat jadi penanggung jawab angkatan. Gangerti juga kenapa, dan gangerti kenapa gue bisa kepilih. Well, either way, I'm stuck sama mereka. Bersama menjalani kader ~~yang super sampah~~

Pas gue ketiban tanggung jawab buat jadi PJ, gue harus merelakan aspek lain di hidup gue spiraling out of control. Softball jadi terbengkalai, padahal seleksi kejurnas junior itu tinggal berapa bulan lagi. Nilai gue terjun payung tanpa parasut. Intinya idup gue kacau. Dan by that time I despise Mesis so much that I felt like quitting. Ditambah lagi segerombol manusia keras kepala yang sok tau dan mau-maunya sendiri. MATI AJA LO (telat)

Terus gue lolos ke seleksi tahap 2 buat Junior DKI (walaupun akhirnya gak keterima) terus pelantikan udah lewat jadi gue ngerasa nggak ada gunanya lagi gue ngurusin dan gue udah nggak terikat tanggung jawab apa-apa, jadi gue bener-bener meninggalkan Mesis saat itu. Gapernah ikut kumpul. Gapernah ngapa-ngapain. Gue mau fokus softball. Tapi, lagi-lagi, ada temen yang nggak maklum, dikira gue ngambek gara-gara nggak lulus seleksi LKS. YEEEEE ngaco aja deh, gue juga nggak niat kali daftarnya, orang gue daftar cuma gara-gara dibujukin (atau lebih tepatnya diteror, sampe di DM di Twitter dan disapa-sapa di MSN segala) sama seseorang, jelas-jelas gue bilang gamau ikut terus nyokap gue udah bilang gausah, tapi diiming2in mulu padahal akhirnya gak keterima juga. Loh kok jadi ngomel? Tapi sekarang gue udah berdamai sih sama orang itu haha. Terus ada juga si kakak OSIS yang ngoceh-ngoceh "kalian masih punya PJ gak sih???" pas gue nggak dateng acara Mesis gitu. Duh maaf aja sis (karena dia suka shopping online) pas lo lagi acara gak jelas lari-lari di Taman Mini, gue lagi ada seleksi. LEBIH PENTING MANA, HAH? Kan gue juga udah demisioner sebagai PJ, lo mau gue ngurus sampe kapan sih *kesel*

Yaudah, gapenting ngomongin itu. Anywayssss, sekalinya gue dateng ngumpul Mesis, tiba-tiba acara malam kekerabatan jadi pindah ke rumah nenek gue karena mendadak si Nevny rumahnya nggak bisa dipake. Terus nyokap gue keluar duit banyak gitu deh ngurusin anak-anak yang berkeliaran di rumah nenek gue tanpa ada biaya akomodasi. Intinya: gue ngasih kontribusi kan, walaupun gue udah MALES banget sama Mesis waktu itu.

Dan di saat deket-deket pemilihan ketua, dan setelah gue kecoret di tahap terakhir seleksi junior, akhirnya gue kembali lagi ke pangkuan ibu pertiwi. Salah. Pokoknya gue aktif lagi deh. Gue ikut ngurus Takitri, gue...........banyak deh. Terus kebetulan salah satu calon ketuanya itu temen gue sejak SMP dan setelah negosiasi panjang, akhirnya gue jadi wakil ketua deh wkwkwk. The only reason why I wanted to become wakil ketua (And yes, not ketua, karena gue males) itu karena I needed something for my CV. But I got a whole lot more than that.

Gue jadi wakil ketua 1, yang tugasnya ngurus buku tahunan dan majalah sekolah "Takitri" Dan selama ngurus kedua proker andalan Mesis (tssssah) itu, gue bener-bener belajar banyak. Mulai dari ngurus dana (karena PJ dananya gabut), terus bikin artikel, bikin layout, you name it. And also some managerial skills, belajar bikin timeline dkk. Kalo ditanyain, ada nggak sih manfaat gue ikut Mesis? Jawabannya = banyak. Di Mesis lah gue menemukan pengganti bagi kekurangan yang ada di 8, selama gue di Labsky, gue selalu dituntut untuk mengerjakan sesuatu semaksimal dan sekreatif mungkin. Tapi di 8, bikin presentasi dengan template yang standar dengan font Arial itu udah acceptable.

Selain itu gue juga belajar berorganisasi. Walaupun sampe sekarang I'm still such a mess, tapi gue udah mulai belajar buat ngatur orang. Dan belajar untuk bilang nggak, karena sebelumnya gue yes man banget. Dan sebenernya gue nggak setuju sama konsep kader yang ngomel nggak keruan itu karena, walaupun kata kakaknya "kami tuh kaya gini biar kalian kuat, nanti kalian kalo ngadepin guru atau kakak kelas lainnya, mereka bakal lebih galak" bullshit lah. Selama gue di Mesis gue nggak pernah kok ngerasain dimarahin separah itu, malah gue belajar untuk bisa ngasih perlawanan terhadap argumen yang rasional, bukan teriakan nggak berisi kaya gitu.

Gue juga belajar untuk bisa kerjasama sama orang-orang aneh/gabut/ngeyel, you name it. Mesis itu subsinya besar, nggak semua orang kompeten. Banyak yang kerjaannya cuma ngomong doang terus nggak kerja, malah ada yang nggak ngomong, nggak kerja, muncul aja nggak pernah. Dan juga ngadepin kakak kelas yang nggak tau diri, udah buku tahunannya gue yang ngurusin, kerjaannya lewat deadline mulu. Nggak ngebantu. Melatih kesabaran banget.

Sekarang, di saat udah mau demisioner dan orang-orang galau setengah mampus gara-gara udah mau berpisah dengan subsinya, gue ketularan. Lumayan galau sih, tapi abis itu kan life must go on. Toh lo akan ketemu lagi kan sama temen-temen sesubsi lo, walaupun sekarang lo ngobrol sama dia bukan untuk ngomongin buku tahunan, atau ngurusin Takitri. Tapi mereka nggak bakal kemana-mana kan? Lagian gue juga bukan salah satu yang merasa Mesis adalah keluarga gue.

Hmmm, keluarga. Konsep yang ditanemin sama kakak kelas pas kader, kalo subsi adalah keluarga. Mengingat gue sering banget up and down sama Mesis, gue nggak ngerasa kalo Mesis adalah keluarga gue. Karena kata keluarga itu sakral, hanya dipakai untuk mendeskripsikan sekelompok manusia yang ada hubungan darah sama lo. Dulu seorang adik kelas gue pernah ngomong "keluargaku kan di rumah, kak" dan emang menurut gue demikian. Mungkin ada lah sebagian orang yang gue anggep deket, tapi nggak keluarga juga sih................

Oh iya, soal orang-orang deket. Kalo bukan karena Mesis mungkin sampe sekarang gue gapernah pacaran kali ya #salah. Mesis memperkenalkan gue sama a wide range of people that I never thought I would ever be friends with. The geeks, drama-queens/kings, queen bees, nerds, anime-lovers, K-Pop enthusiasts, ambitious people, ha semuanya ada deh. Dan walaupun gak semuanya baik, ada juga lah yang berkesan di hati gue (duileh) Dan membuat gue deket sama cowok teroke yang pernah gue kenal seumur hidup gue.............ODDY. WAKAKAKAK nah, I'm just saying this karena ngerasa bersalah kemaren ngeupload foto nista dia. I've grown to love some, and hate some, but that's life, you can't love everyone.

Anyways, di saat-saat seperti ini - endings, I mean - I tend to look back. Dan walaupun sometimes Mesis itu becomes the shittiest kind of shit, gue nggak akan milih subsi lain. Karena subsi ini lah yang menjadi bagian besar dari masa SMA gue, di subsi ini gue menjadi dewasa.

Next post: Tentang seseorang~

I Wanna Know What Love Is

2011-10-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

Jangan berprasangka yang nggak-nggak dulu.

Alright, the reason why I brought this topic up is because.........idk, I just felt like it. Well, mungkin partly trigerred by the fact that I opened Facebook-nya seorang gebetan gue pas SD.

Humft.

Buat seorang anak SD, cinta itu adalah tokoh utama AADC yang diperankan sama Dian Sastro. Yang lebih terkenal adalah term: suka. Iya, karena anak SD belom berdaya untuk jatuh cinta, hanya bisa suka, ngefans, ngebet diem-diem. Lo tau kan betapa noraknya anak SD - terutama kelas 3 SD - kalo lagi suka sama cowok. Gue pernah melewati fase ini. 3 kali bahkan. Maaf labil.

Hmmm pertama kali gue suka cowok ituuuuu kelas 3 SD deh kayanya. Menurut gue dia keren (tapi serius, sampe sekarang dia masih keren, bro) gue juga gangerti apa alasan lain yang melandasi kesukaan (eh?) gue sama si cowok ini, pastinya selain karena dia tampangnya oke, orangnya juga cool gimanaaaa gitu, untuk ukuran anak SD sih. Matanya tajem. Apakabar dia sekarang? Pas awal SMA gue sempet ketemu dia, di Tarphrodite. Kebetulan gue sama Smita terus Smita temenan sama sahabat dia gitu jadi halo-halo dikit. Gue pernah ketemu sama nyokap bokapnya suatu saat di musholla PP, dan mereka masih inget sama gue wakakakak, tapi waktu itu doi gaada. Kabar terakhir sih sekarang dia udah pacaran...........sama temen SD gue juga. Emang kalo lo SD terus lanjut SMP SMA disana kadang lingkup pergaulan lo cuma seluas Danau Cilala.

Terus ada lagi satu orang cowok, anak pindahan pas kelas 4. Tinggalnya di Cinere. Anak ini beda banget sama si cowok yang pertama gue suka tadi: pecicilan. Kerjaannya ngeledekin orang terus, pernah sekali gue ngejar dia keliling kantin karena dia manggil gue gorilla coklat. Iya, dia emang buta manggil orang secantik gue kaya gitu. Giginya gede, tapi mukanya lumayan sih. Tiap tahun selalu aja dia punya nama ledekan baru buat gue. Gue juga bingung kenapa bisa suka sama dia..............maybe because he was fun. Dia sering banget ngebikin sekelas ketawa. Dan sampe sekarang itulah satu trait yang selalu gue cari di seorang cowok: humoris. Karena gue orangnya very uptight. Sejak masuk SMP gue udah gapernah denger kabar apa-apa dari dia. Gosipnya dia di-DO, tapi gatau bener apa nggak. Sampe sekarang pun masih ada rasa-rasa kangen, not in an icky way, tapi he was hilarious and it would be nice to hear from him once in a while.

Terus ada fase fangirl yang males gue ceritain. Intinya pas kelas 6 dan 7 gue pernah tuh yang namanya misscall2 kakak kelas atau nontonin seorang cowok main basket dari jendela kelas sampe wali kelas gue ngakak. Cuma none of it was serious, it was just a phase.

Pas kelas 7 gue suka sama seorang cowok. Yang ini agak serius. Dulu oknumnya "kecap" karena doi item. Mukanya jelek banget. Tapi dia tergolong dewasa, untuk ukuran anak kelas 7 ya, apalagi dibandingin sama cowok-cowok di kelas gue. Tapi one thing lead to another terus dia malah jadian sama sahabat gue. I was devastated, as stupid as that sounds. Karena itu sekalinya gue suka orang karena kepribadiannya, bukan karena fisiknya wkwk. I remembered I cried that night. Dan semasa SMP gue bener-bener gapernah suka sama cowok lain. Jiahhhh SMP aja udah emo. Terakhir gue ketemu dia.........di PIM pas udah SMA. Gue lagi bengong tiba-tiba ada yang "pssst." Pas gue nengok taunya itu doi. Sekarang sih kalo nginget masa-masa kegelapan pas kelas 7, gue jadi malu sendiri. Selalu kaya gini kasusnya. Kalo ditanya do I still have any feelings for him: DUH, nggak lah. Basi.

Pas SMA gue suka sama temen sekelas gue. Ini adalah masa paling suram selama 17 tahun gue hidup di muka bumi ini. Kayanya tiap suka sama orang I turn into a drama queen. Mana orangnya udah punya pacar lagi. Kayanya gue desperate bgt gitu sampe bisa suka sama orang ini, gaada kualitas bagusnya sama sekali. Sebenernya pas belom kenal sih oke-oke aja, pas udah kenal minta ditendang ke Gunung Krakatau. Duhhhhh lucu juga sih ngingetnya, gue bisa curhat ke Hijal sampe nangis segala, terus titik puncaknya adalah ketika............oke stop jijik banget. Pokoknya kaco bgt deh galaunya, dia bisa bikin gue berbunga-bunga, terus bikin gue nangis kejer, seakan-akan he's the last guy on earth or something. But he's not. Lama-lama gue kesel sendiri terus untuk sekian lama gue diem-dieman sama dia. Tapi sekarang udah baikan, terpaksa karena satu subsi. Sekarang di mata gue dia lebih hina daripada si Betty Jable kucing sekolah yang beranak mulu. Sekarang gue manggil dia dengan kata "sayang" udah lebih sering daripada gue manggil nama dia.........bercandaan doang tapi. Yah cuma selaknat apapun makhluk ini, cuma doi yang kuat dengerin gue curhat sampe jam 2 malem. Kriteria baru: punya kuping tahan curhatan.

Nah tapi pacar pertama gue..........duh jauh dari segala kriteria yang ada. Awalnya juga gue deket gara-gara si cowok barusan, bingung juga kenapa gue bisa curhat sama dia. Dia kakak kelas, waktu itu lagi kader subsi pula. Tapi sekarang gue belom sampe tahap dimana gue bisa menertawakan hubungan itu tanpa merasa awkward. I loved him more as a friend. And I guess pacaran itu pretty much screwed things up, and now I wonder whether things are ever going to be the same as it was before. Truth is there's one reason why I despise him........bahkan jauh dari sebelom jadian juga sebenernya gue punya semacem dendam sama orang ini yang sampe sekarang suka tiba-tiba kambuh.

Sebenernya gajelas juga kenapa gue nulis ini. Iseng aja kali ya. Intinya, selama gue idup, kayanya gue gapernah ngerasain sayang sama orang deh. Mungkin sama sekelompok teman pernah, atau sama suatu kegiatan yang ngebuat gue seneng. Tapi semuanya itu semu *tssssah* paling cm tahan berapa bulan. Cuma gapernah ngerasain something like all that "I don't wanna lose you" crap.

Gak pernah kaya di film, atau buku, atau gausah jauh-jauh deh, kaya anak SMA jatuh cinta biasa aja gapernah.

Sometimes I wish I was a cold-hearted bitch with no feelings. Tapi kenyataannya gue sangat sentimental, ditambah lagi rangsangan dari buku dan film picisan yang ngebuat gue makin cheesy gini.

Ya intinya: I wanna know what love is. And I want you - God knows who you are - to show me.
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If I Lay Here, If I Just Lay Here

2011-10-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

I've always loved Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.

Have you ever wanted someone to just lie with you and just forget the world?

I love sappy songs. And mellow movies.

And they turned me into a hopeless romantic who has never fallen in love.

I Haven't Seen You In A While

2011-10-19T09:09:00.001-07:00

I've been really upset lately.

My scores..........I couldn't find the proper word to describe them. Well, they're horrendous. This has probably been the worst mid test I have ever had throughout my high school years. I've got 4 remedials, and I scored slightly above average on the tests I didn't flunk. I haven't gotten the results on my PE written test, but considering that almost, if not all of the kids in my year failed, I assume I did too. I was one answer away from passing German; but sadly I clumsily filled in the wrong answer because I didn't read the passage correctly. I flunked geography, it was hard, but it's not like the teacher ever came to class to actually teach us anything; one time one of my friends called her because she didn't show up in class when she was supposed to, and it turns out that the old witch just got out of bed. Last but not least, I flunked sociology. I probably should stop right here before I start going into a rampage about my sociology teacher.

Point is, I've never felt so low in my entire life *drrrrrrama* and yet I'm still not motivated to become a tiny bit more ambitious. Gah!!!!!!!!!!

This whole subsi thing is kinda freaking me out as well. First of all, related to Takitri, something happened. But it would be unethical to explain and mention the people involved in it here, so to sum it all up: battle of the after-school courses, which I found pretty silly until I found out that one of the institution gave a huge annual donation to my school. And then there's BT; despite the fact that we've distributed all of our yearbooks and still manage to get a 20million profit from its sales, there's this one tiny problem that hasn't been resolved: ada piutang yang belum tertagih. It's not like it would do us any harm if we don't get our money, but yet my councillor told me to take care of it, even though it's none of my responsibilities. I wasn't supposed to be THIS involved in the first place, my main duty was to make sure that everything worked out according to the initial plans. But then again there's this one super gabut kid and she abandoned her duties so I had to take matters into my own hands. And then I gave this task to another person who was supposed to be in charge of the whole thing but she hasn't done anything I've told her to do, and once again, for a greater good (or so it is), my councillor told me to take matters into my own hands. Why? "Karena kamu yang lebih kuat daripada dia." Errrrr, right.

Moving on to the happy parts.

I'm finally through with this whole Schoolastic crap, thank God!!!!!!!! The event went on with significant difficulties but overall it was a success and we managed to squeeze out a little profit too. I am so glad that this is all over; to finally get a break from Photoshop and having to call publications because I have several lousy partners. I even had to spend Saturday night at the printers because no one was around to take care of the shit. I am so relieved that now I wouldn't have to attend anymore pointless meetings and could finally enjoy some time without any disturbance through my bbm, but then this 10th grader called me yesterday about the committee shirt I had promised for his friends and that..........bugged me, a lot.

I also participate in TarQ Cup's softball tournament with Beavers. They're probably the lousiest team I've ever had, and they could really get to my nerves whenever all they did was stare at an easy grounder without having any intention to block it, but they're also the best thing I ever have in high school. Some people annoy me to death but I'm there to have fun and that's pretty much all I had and did with my teammates, we had fun. I played competitive softball once and it stresses me out. I had to fulfill goals, maintain a good record, and not make a single mistake that would damage my team's chances in winning a tournament. And I lost all the joy I had when I started playing softball. But with Beavers, it's a whole other different thing. We aim to win but our main purpose is to have the time of our lives. And that's when I start to remember why I loved softball in the first place. That satisfaction when you struck out a batter or the exhaustion filled with happiness when you manage to run and score a point for your team. I was (slightly) more relaxed (even though I get real tensed when my teammates commit a stupid error) that I managed to hit balls to the outfield, and that's a huge achievement for me, since I am practically the queen of strike outs. I bumped into a lot of old friends, and I gotta admit sometimes I do miss playing softball in my club and joining real tournaments and such. But that's a chapter that I have chosen to close, there are times when I would want to revisit them, and I really would do so, but life goes on, right?

I wish I could have this kind of outlook towards other aspects of life. To clear off this negativity and have a positive outlook towards the future. But instead I chose to linger, it has always been a habit that I would love to get rid of. If only I had more self control~

Hummm what else? My mom changed my Twitter password, because she thinks I have became addicted to it, and she's right. I am sort of relieved, even though sometimes I open it from the iPad because that's the one device I haven't logged out from. But it's great to finally have a life, it's time for me to worry about my own instead of being so nosy of others.

And I fell in love with Happy Endings. The reason why I watched it in the first place was because of this new Zooey D sitcom called New Girl. One of its cast pulled out of the series because he hadn't expected his other series to be picked up for another season. Anyways this particular 'he' is Damon Wayans Jr., the son of the guy who starred in My Wife and Kids. The pilot (Happy Endings) wasn't too interesting but I grew to love the series as it progressed. I finished the whole first season in 2 days, the second season had just aired recently and I've been streaming it online ever since. It's probably the funniest and most realistic sitcom I've ever seen. And it's the one sitcom that I could actually relate to. I get the humors; they're not unfunny nor overdone, they're just........right.

And I've started my SAT prep course.......with a practice test. Which was hard as hell. I'm starting to have doubts about applying to US colleges, truth is I've been having doubts about pretty much everything in my life.

I guess that's probably all for now, I'm sorry I didn't post any pictures because I'm posting from my iPod (RIP Steve Jobs) since my laptop battery leaked (for the second time) See y'all around!

Sent from my iPod

Mohon Maaf Lahir Batin, and..........

2011-09-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's the thing.

My mom asked me earlier about whether I regret my decision of enrolling to SMA 8. And it got me thinking.

I did, and still do.

These past two years have been the most excruciating years of my teenage life. But I guess us youngsters tend to view every current moment as the lowest points of our lives.

But it really is.

Then why the hell did I even chose this school in the first place?

Well, duh, the same reason each SMA 8 student has: its prestige. I mean, if you live in Indonesia, particularly Jakarta, you definitely would have heard of the school's reputation. 98% of the class of 2011 are now enrolled in top public and private universities all over the nation, mostly in UI and ITB. Some of them also went abroad; one of my upperclassmen got into MIT, several others are now enrolled in NUS and NTU.

The thing is, the school doesn't exactly produce top graduates. The only reason why a lot of our students and alumni got accepted into top-notch schools are because they are already smart in the first place~ I'm sure that's not really a shocker as well, since most top public high schools have the same problem.

What happens behind the green-painted walls of SMA 8 is not any different from any other high school in Jakarta. Teachers who are teaching for the sake of becoming pegawai negeri, horrible facilities, you name it.

The thing that I cannot put up with most is its academic curriculum. I am a student of the (only) social class in my school, and we learn most of our subjects by memorizing rather than understanding. If you don't answer by the book, then writing anything down is a waste of time, because they're not gonna give a mark for it anyways.

And we only study by reading text books and answering questions. The most innovative learning method they came up with is Power-Point presentations. Even in English, my class in particular, we only finish worksheets and work on this crappy online project. They never even assigned us to read books or make an essay, or that sorta stuff. I mean, I know that lots of Indonesian students have a (sorry) poor level of understanding in English, but it's not like we're going to improve by answering a few problems, we need practice. And now when I have decide to take the SATs, I realize how my English actually sucks. I lack of vocabulary, an now I have to throw in some extra effort to study for it because most Indonesian schools doesn't really accommodate students who intend to apply abroad.

The students aren't much better as well. I'm not saying all of them are horrible, but most are. There's something inside them that's vaguely screaming out loud, "I'm a student in a very competitive school, so, yes, I am smarter than you" academically speaking, there is no denial that all of my friends are intellectually gifted, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they excel in everything. They think they're THAT good in every single thing they do, and they brag about how well the system works here, well, news flash, my mom's friend happens to also have a child who attended the school, and he said, "ngomong sama anak-anak ini kebanyakan wacana" and that's exactly how I felt about almost everyone. They could only yap endlessly about their plans, instead to putting them into action.

The teachers aren't much help, either. Most don't even give a damn about our activities. Some do, though, like the counselor for my sub-section, but most don't. They hand everything to the students; although it is true that at some point we would have to stand on our own two feet, we still need some guidance, we can't really make good judgments.

And what I regret most about attending this school is that I didn't have time to do anything else outside it. I dropped softball. Basically, by choosing this school, you have signed a 3-year contract of torture. Even on holidays all you can think about is school. My life revolves around Bukit Duri. There was even a time when I went there even on weekends. The academics are pretty demanding, so you might have to sacrifice either your scores, or any other activities that are unrelated to school. That really hurts my resume.

I know that complaining probably makes me no different than my other NATO-friends. I've consulted my counselor about it but she's helpless. It's not like anyone could help me get my word to the principal, because it's very bureaucratic here. I'm thinking about dropping a letter in a small post box in front of my vice principal's office, it's worth a shot, although I am uncertain that he'd pass my word.

Lesson learned: Always choose a school that fits your personality, do research before deciding on which one you want to attend. Prestige doesn't always reflect quality.
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Amira Mau Kuliah di Amerika

2011-08-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

One and a half month through 12th grade and I finally decided to apply to US universities. This decision didn't come out unexpectedly, I've been yearning to pursue higher education in the states, but my mom was still reluctant. She insisted that I go to the University of Indonesia, which happens to be both of my parents' almamater.

It wasn't until she received an hour long phone call from one of her old friends who now resides in the states that she finally saw US universities as an option.

This sudden change of heart is also followed by her offer for me to sign up for an SAT intensive prep program which would cost her millions.

And all of a sudden my goal shifted. I have had several experiences in the past which made me believe that a mother's approval is the key to their child's success. So when my mom gave me the green light, that's when I'll start my engine and drive full speed along the path which would lead me to my goals. But when she doesn't, well, let's just say I try my best not to go against my mother's will.

My dad, on the other hand, has been very supportive of my decision to take the SAT test. He even downloaded a bunch of ebooks on preparing for the SATs.

Since I'm currently on my Hari Raya break, I've been spending hours in front of the computer, going from one college site to the other and check out their admissions page. I even browsed through forums to get more insight, since I found several sites rather uninformative.

It's been a long life dream of mine to attend Harvard University, but after I went through its admission stats, I don't think it would be a feasible option for me. Not that I'm being pessimistic, I'm trying to keep it realistic so that my mom wouldn't have to waste a lot of money on admission fees to universities that I could only dream of.

My top 3 options are the University of Chicago (which, by the way, gives out some mind-tangling essay questions), Northwestern University in Evanston, and New York University. I might apply to University of Michigan, Ann-Arbor, or University of Wisconsin, Madison, but I guess we'll see about that.

I know it's a long shot. A girl who gets average scores on her report card and pretty much has no other activities outside school, yearning for an admission to one of America's finest universities. But then again, earlier today I saw a prospective student who got rejected despite of his seemingly endless CV, while another person got accepted even though his whole CV could fit my computer screen.

That's when you realize that all you have to do is try hard and pray for the best, because in the end, God is the one who would sort things out for you. Wish me luck!

Kenapa Gue Selalu Jadi Wakil dan Gak Pernah Jadi Ketua?

2011-08-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

"Kalo orang kerja tapi gak ngomong itu kaya maling, kalo orang ngomong doang tapi gak kerja itu kaya tukang jual obat di pasar."

Mending jadi maling daripada tukang obat.

Just a thought.
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THE CLAW IS OUR MASTER

2011-08-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Lagi terobsesi banget sama The Aliens yang di Toy Story. Basi? Sebenernya gue udah suka dari lamaaaa karena mereka jalannya aneh terus kalo ngomong harus pake suara.........ya itu. Kemaren juga di Disneyland Paris (ea) satu2nya barang yang gue beli adalah kaos dengan gambar muka si alien. Mau liat?

LOCO BANGET GAK SIH KAOSNYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pengen beli silikon iPod tapi sayangnya silikon Aliens ini cuma ada buat iPhone 3Gs doang, sementara iPod gue iPod Touch 4G (lengkap jikalau ada yang mau membelikan) dari nama sama serinya aja udah beda. Ada anak angkatan gue yang punya, huhu ngeliatnya aja miris. Nih gambarnya

ASHSHAHSHASHAHSAHH pengen. Kalo lo nggak nganggep mereka kiyut, harus nonton ini:

Ya jadi intinya sekarang gue lagi terobsesi banget hehe. Anyways, udah lama gak ngepost. Gak deng paling baru semingguan. Besok libur loh. Libur di SMA 8 itu harus dirayakan.........karena jarang. Bentar lagi juga libur lebaran. WUW we we we so excited mau makan green chili duck (gaya) at my grandma'z hauz. Kok gue ngomong jadi alay gini.

Cuma mau posting itu aja sih. Sebenernya mau ngomel karena labil tapi kata nyokap gaboleh terlalu banyak membeberkan apa-apa di dunia maya. Jadi, buat kalian yang berbaik hati, ulangtaun gue 26 Desember, tapi gue menerima hadiah dalam bentuk apapun (terutama Aliens ini) sebelum waktu yang ditentukan. Thanks.

Exhausted

2011-08-10T05:14:00.000-07:00

I cried this morning. I had a hard time finishing my civics test and it really bugs me because civics has been one of the subject that I am good at, at least since 11th grade. But then again, that's not really the main reason why I cried.

I'm scared. Of being a twelfth-grader. I don't know why tapi kelas 3 di SMA 8 itu sangat memusingkan. Mungkin di semua SMA gitu kali ya. Apalagi sejak ada SNMPTN Undangan. Kayanya hidup lo jadi bergantung banget sama nilai semester 5. Nilai semester 3 dan 4 gue alhamdulillah bagus, it's the 5th semester that I am now currently worrying about. Udah 2 ulangan dan dua2nya gue nggak bisa.

Gue capek banget o___o padahal gue nggak bimbel atau les apapun, dan gue langsung ngacir pulang pas bel. I also have my own private car, lengkap sama supirnya, so even though perjalanan pulang gue itu minimal memakan waktu 2 jam, I could just sleep it off. Tapi entah kenapa gue tetep capek. Capek batin tau gak.

Dulu gue kira kelas 3 gabakalan sekacau ini. Ternyata............. Selain itu juga gue ngurus ini itu gajelas yang cukup memakan waktu, if only I hadn't signed up in the first place. Kayanya lebih enak hidup gabut dan fokus belajar. AH focus, I find it so hard to focus these days, I couldn't read a book for more than half an hour, belom apa2 pasti bawaannya udah ngantuk.

My friend told me, if you get yourself closer to God, you won't cry because you felt He had done you injustice, you would cry because you realize how much He loved you. I do my prayers everyday, but I never felt connected with Him. All of my negativity practically wiped out my faith, in anything. I often believe in things that are not real, believing in all my worries, that it seemed as if I don't believe in God, when the truth is I do. Duh, jadi pusing. Intinya, gue harus mendekatkan diri sama Tuhan sepertinya.

I know I'm really whiny. I don't want to be, but I'm just so tiredddd. And I often cry when I'm tired. Kayanya kelas 3 ini gue bakal super cengeng. Oh God, please help me.

Happy Friendship Day

2011-08-07T00:07:00.001-07:00

I think I have the ability to push people away.

You see, I've never hold on to a friend for more than one or two years. The only friend that I've had for such a long time is Smita, sepertinya dia udah kebal sama sifat gue. Tapi sisanya, they come and go. Gue bisa deket banget sama orang, tapi within 6 months time, we become total strangers. Maybe that's how long it takes for them to realize how annoying I actually am.

I have a few bad traits. I'm kind of spoiled, full of ego, and I talk too much. All the bad qualities that would disqualify me as a friend material to anyone. And I'm pretty selective as well, I'm not the kind of person that has a lot of friends because deep inside, I'm shy, and picky. If I don't totally click with someone, then why be friends? My mom said that's probably the reason why I don't have friends, but that's just me, and that's how I'm always going to be, nothing could ever change that.

Sometimes I feel really lonely. Especially at school. I join lots of activities, and still it feels like I don't connect with anyone I work with. Every time I join an extracurricular activity, I would feel like I formed a super tight bond with other members, but it's always temporary. And soon, I would always end up hating what I do, and hating the people who were doing it with me.

I don't really have a life outside school. I used to play softball in a club but then all of my crappy school activities kept me really busy that I had to drop softball. I don't stay in contact with any of my softball friends, sure, we'd chat once in a while, but not as often as we used to. Now two of my best friends are in the Jakarta softball team, one is now dating my friend from primary school, and the other one is now in Singapore.

I had a group of friends in junior high. I guess I've told you this story so many times before that you'd probably get bored. I don't talk to them anymore now. The only junior high friend that I still kept in contact with is Kara, as for the others...........I don't know, I've stopped talking to them since the 2nd semester of 8th grade.

I always feel as if no one understands me, you know? I know no one would completely understand you, and no one would ever fit your criteria perfectly. But sometimes I just want a friend who could understand what I'm going through, and listen to my stories without judging me. I just need someone that I could rely on no matter what, someone who'd stick with me during good times and bad times.

Setiap ada yang ulangtahun, pasti DP BBM nya ganti. Entah itu foto lagi di-surprise-in, atau nggak dibawain kue lah sama temen atau keluarganya. Lah gue...........I had my last birthday in Lombok. That night I had a huge fight with my mom. And I really didn't know who to talk to, I tried to contact one of the closest friend I had, but there was no signal.

I had a close friend during the 2nd semester of 10th grade. He was my senior, and we practically chatted with each other everyday. But then I had to screw things up by dating him, which now I completely regret, maybe if we stayed friends we would still be friends. And now, I don't talk to him as much as I used to, and our conversations are really awkward.

And then there's my other friend, who went to the same junior high with me, but we started becoming friends after we joined the same subsi in high school, and now he's my boss. We chat a lot, but then he had a girlfriend so there was no way that I could chat with him as much as I used to, because that's just not........appropriate. And now, even though he has broken up with her, I don't talk to him as often as before, I don't know why.

Look, it's not like I don't have any friends. I do, I mean, I've got my social class, and other friends from other activities. But there's just no one that I could really open up to now. It's kind of my fault anyway, for wanting a perfect friend which would never exist. But it's just hard to talk to anyone about my REAL feelings. Sure, everyone in class thinks of me as miss curhat, but the thing that I talk to them about are school stuffs.

No one ever knows of my ambitions. I'm just scared that if I tell people about it, they would end up leaving me, or stabbing me in the back. After all the one person that could hurt you most is the one that knows you best. I've been keeping a lot of things locked up inside, but I really need to let it all flow out or else I'm gonna explode in rage. I talk a lot with my mom, and she says that it's okay to not have many close friends because she doesn't have a best friend and she ended up okay. But that's the thing about my mom, she doesn't really care about anything or anyone in this world, and she's a grown up, other than that she's married so at least she's got my dad to talk to. I'm a teenager~ we're in a phase where it seems like our world crumbles down every single second.

I know I'm pitying myself too much, but this is how I really feel. I might have an amazing life, I have great scores and I join lots of activities, but there's one thing that I have never overcame: loneliness.

The End of A Beautiful Childhood

2011-08-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

Kayanya gue emang seneng ngebikin idup gue susah ya?!?!?!?!? Salah tanda baca?!?!?!?! Bodo. Btw tadi gue akhirnya nonton Harry Potter sama Chia, tapi gue bete bgt karena sebenernya gue udah beli tiket lewat m-tix tapi terus JAKARTA, SEPERTI BIASA SODARA SODARA, MACET. Sampe udah mau nangis rasanya pengen pindah keluar kota/negeri..............saking macetnya sampe nyokap gue bilang kalo gue masuk UI ngekos aja, padahal UI tinggal loncat dari rumah gue, hiperbola.

Anyways, balik ke Harry Potter. Gue sedih banget nih Harry Potter udah kelar. Sebenernya udah kelar sejak buku ke-7 keluar sih, by the way I bought the 7th book on the day that it was released and finished it in a day. Tapi terus filmnya juga udah gaada lagi........Oh, I signed up for Pottermore. Kurang tau juga sih ntar itu websitenya ngapain, paling tiap hari crash saking banyaknya visitor. Katanya JK Rowling, online reading experience like no other. We'll see.

AH I remember the first time I bought a Harry Potter book, I couldn't recall was it with my mom or my aunt, but I bought it in a book fair at school, if I'm not mistaken. The first book I bought was the third one, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. One of my cousin saw me carrying it around and then told me "wow, Harry Potter, itu seru loh, Mir." It was sometime during the 1st or 2nd grade, a few months before the first movie came out. I bought the first and second book of the series, but never actually finished them. But I read the whole other 4 books.

My mom bought the fourth book in Hong Kong. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, I got a copy when I was in the 3rd grade or so, I also remember one of my seniors, whom which I was in the same school bus with, asked me, "Wow, is that the fourth book of the Harry Potter series?" The copy was in English, even though I've had it for years, I read it weeks before the fourth movie came out.

I bought my fifth copy in Kinokuniya. Unlike the fourth book, I bought the translated version of the fifth one. Terus saking tebelnya, gak gue baca sampe filmnya mau keluar. Sistem kebut semalem, biasa. I forgot where I bought the 6th copy, but that one was in English, and I recalled how its end was such a cliffhanger.

The seventh copy, was the most special one. I ordered it days before its release, I remember that on the morning I went to Aksara Citos with my mom and my grandma to pick up a copy, the mall itself was barely open. I spent a whole day reading it, and didn't sleep at all to finish it.

They say that good books have the ability to make you not want to put it down. And that's the one book that once I pick up, I would never be able to put down until I finish.

UUUU and the movie. I saw the first two movies with my late aunt, oh how I miss her. We saw it in Wijaya, which was the closest theater to my grandma's house in Kemang. I saw the third one at midnight in PIM, I went to Wijaya and intended to watch Eiffel I'm in Love Extended, but it was way past show time, then two of my cousins came and it turns out that the ticket for Harry Potter was sold out, so they took me with them to PIM. I went home real late that night. I didn't remember whom with I watched the fourth and sixth movie with, but I recall seeing the 5th one with my junior high school friends in PS, when we were still friends. We booked the seats for opening day, but the theater wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be. We went to Sency afterwards.

I saw both installments of the 7th movie with Chia. The first one was in Gancy, and we practically laughed our ass off throughout the whole movie, because earlier on we just had a cinematography test and we were talking about how they used chromakey and how the camera should have been on bird eye's view the moment Voldemort got his hand on the Elder Wand. We just watched the second installment earlier today, and........since my whole plan was screwed up because of Jakarta's traffic, we only managed to get the front row. Chia said something about how reading the subtitle itself might take her a whole minute since the screen seems so wide within such a close range. The last movie was great, but not as spectacular as I expected it to be, after all that's one of the consequences of watching movies based on the book, they never live up to your expectations, because reading books stimulates your imagination, therefore everyone has different interpretations of how it should be.

I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan. I don't remember every spell, neither do I remember every moment from both the novel and the movie, tapi gue juga bukan tipe-tipe orang yang suka karena lagi ngetren (btw sekarang "After all this time?" "Always" lagi ngetren banget, kayanya semua orang ngetweet itu), Harry Potter has occupied a little space in my heart, the little space that consists of fantasies that (sadly) I know are not going to come to life. It has somehow been a huge part of my childhood, I guess it has been a huge part of every child's childhood, if they are my age, of course. Every book, and every movie, brought back memories. Of my late aunt, of my former friends and how I have had a time in my life of which I enjoyed most.

And I've been secretly wishing that an owl would drop by my house and send me my acceptance letter to Hogwarts, but then again I guess everyone does. I really wanna be a wizard because........I don't know, it seems like a lot of fun, you know? Quidditch games, disapparating from one place to another, throwing around spells with your wand, and the ease of saying "Accio" to find what you're looking for, the one spell that I need most. Nonton filmnya aja, bahkan bukan bagian klimaks, ngebikin gue mangap dan ngiler. And even until now I still wish that Hogwarts does exist. PLEASE GOD IF IT DOES, biarkan aku bersekolah disana. I wouldn't mind if you turn me back into a 10 year old, I wouldn't mind if I have to go through puberty all over again, as long as I could go to Hogwarts. I wouldn't really mind being an ordinary wizard, I would rather be it rather than being an outstanding person in this muggle world, although if it turns out that I would forever be a muggle, I would like to succeed, but that's a whole other different story. And by ordinary, at least someone like Ginny, I mean, she's ordinary but she ended up getting Harry, so, what the heck.

Oke, pindah subjek, ntar tambah galau. Tadi gue ke ulang tahunnya Nevny, asik deh banyak bencong..............tapi beneran, seru. Jijiknya gue disuruh nyuapin Aga es krim. Nista. Kemaren juga jalan sama XB, seru juga, kangen banget sama XB, kamu sangat berarti, istimewa di hati, tralalalala.

Tadinya gue mau nulis posting ini buat curcol, tapi malah jadi ngomongin Harry Potter. Some other time, perhaps?

Updates

2011-07-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING PIPOL! Haven't posted in quite a while, school practically drained my energy. I don't even have time to browse around like I often did every afternoon before 12th grade. Whenever I get home and my ass touches le bed, you won't expect to hear from me until at least midnight. YES, I am that tired, mostly because of my weird sleeping pattern (in which I am asleep throughout the afternoon and until midnight, and stay up afterwards, then go back to sleep at around 3). The truth is nothing much has changed since I got into the 12th grade, I mean, I've got the same classmates, and a classroom which is right beside my old classroom and practically has the same layout, which means that there's no need for adjustments. I didn't even enroll to any bimbel (which is starting to freak me out) because I'm not really up for having to attend classes after school, and I always try to manage to get home as soon as the school bell rings. So what's making me so tired? Maybe it's that whole 12th grade pressure, I'm the kind of person who gets really tired by just being stressed out. Or maybe..............well there's this other thing, it's pissing me off but it's best not to talk about it in public, besides it would contain lots of cursing and I don't want to curse because it's...........

THE HOLY MONTH OF RAMADHAN!!!!!!!!! And for that, I am offering you my sincere apologies, which applies to all the wrongdoings and mishaps that I have performed throughout this year, or probably throughout the 17 years that I have spent living as a human being.

I remember when I was a kid, Ramadhan was such a special month. Don't get me wrong, it still is, but it's sorta losing its vibe.........because of school. I mean, don't you remember that as a kid you were so excited to go to the mosque every night to do your tarawih prayers and meet up with your friends? Or wait in front of the TV with your grandma for Ramadhan soap operas that stars Anjasmara and Tamara Bleszynski? Some of you are probably still doing the things that I just mentioned, but I've stopped doing so since junior high. I don't have any close friends living nearby, and I get so occupied with my homework that thinking about it makes me so worried.

Anyways, I haven't posted anything yet about my Eurotrip, which I would really love to tell you readers (if you do exist) about but haven't really felt like writing about it. Maybe some other time. Hopefully I'd be able to squeeze in posting in the midst of my super tight schedule..........yeah right, as if I actually have a schedule. My life is so unorganized and chaotic lately. If only September would end sooner. HAFT.

About college, hummm. I was thinking about applying to unis in the states but soon realized that it was somehow, say, unrealistic? Mostly because it requires me to take SAT tests, especially if they require SAT Subject Tests. I'm still thinking about applying to the unis that only requires the SAT Reasoning Test scores, but then I'm starting to have doubts about applying because as my mom said, taking SAT tests would bring me out of my path, that is the path that I have first chosen when I enrolled into social class, the path that would hopefully lead me to UI (amin)

I would most definitely apply to UI, and I am really hoping that I could pass through SNMPTN Undangan, since I haven't signed myself up for any bimbel yet. The program that I wanna apply to is Ilmu Ekonomi. Do I need to babble more about it? Because it seems like I have endlessly did during the last few, or even all, posts. My second option is probably Ilmu Hukum. But I am really hoping to get accepted in IE because I......errr, like math (alright, let me hear it, ewwww) and IE is probably the only undergraduate program with the equal proportion of both eksakta and social studies. Other than UI, I would probably apply to NUS's econs undergraduate program. Hopefully I'd be able to make choices instead of fearing about whether or not I'd be chosen.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my parents finally bought me a new iPod touch! It's an early (or maybe too early) birthday gift, and I've been begging them to buy me one since the last time I plugged my iPod into the computer, it has been renamed: Omar's iPod. I'm having lots of fun with it~ taking pictures, playing games, lalalalala. Then I realize that my parents are probably the most generous human being on earth and now there's nothing (materially) that I am currently wanting because I practically have everything I ever wanted. Finally realizing of how thankful I should be, and am now currently very thankful. God is great.

Alrighty, I guess that's all for today. I'm still sleepy and my downloads are completed so I'm gonna hit the hay once more, see y'all soon!

PS: Haven't watched Harry Potter. But am thinking twice about doing so because I haven't touched a book during this 4-day-long-weekend. My childhood just ended and I missed the very moment it did because I was too busy worrying about the future. Need to watch Harry Potter so badly lah *anak gaul style*

That Annoying Feeling......

2011-07-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

......when what you thought was gonna be your big break turned into such a burden

......when you start thinking about your future and realized you haven't gotten it all figured out

......when you wonder whether or not your scores would be able to get you into your dream school

......when you thought about whether or not your friends actually like you despite how badly you've treated them, and when you start wondering which friends are for real and which ones are not

......when you start to wonder if enough is enough

......when you can't sleep at night even though you're worn out

......when you wonder what life would be if you have or haven't done something, if you had gone the opposite direction of what you have done earlier

......when you're too caught up in something, and it stresses you out, then you started questioning yourself, "why am I doing this in the first place?"

......when you talk to a person who was close to you and realized of what an asshole they actually are, then you're gonna start thinking about whether or not they even cared about you in the first place

......when all of a sudden you just feel like weeping the whole day long because you're sad, confused, and irritated

......when another school day felt like a threat rather than an opportunity

......when you simply feel you're not good enough. Not even for yourself.

Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Celebrating A Year Two Years of Bittersweet Misery in High School

2011-07-13T02:11:00.000-07:00

Dear past me,

It's been quite a year, alright. The last time I wrote a letter for you was last year, when I was just starting my junior year in high school and you were still a freshman to the hell that we call school, SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta. And now, I want to congratulate you for making it to junior year, and for standing up in what you believe in, that is, attending social class so that you could focus on your goal, the goal that I am now trying to achieve.

There are gonna be a few changes along the way. At first you intended to get into social class so that you could get into the University of Indonesia without a test (PMDK), well, bad news is the Ministry of Education made a huge reformation and wiped that program off. High school students from all over Indonesia must now go through a selection process called SNMPTN Undangan, in which they are judged based on their report card scores, and this program allows each school to send out 75% of its top students to go on and compete against each other.

But no worries, so far, you have managed to maintain your position as the top 3 students in your class, an honor that I must maintain for you in the 5th semester to ensure that you'd get a spot in Ilmu Ekonomi FEUI through undangan. A tip for you: study harder. Your scores are exceptional but I know you could do better, just as I have the confidence in myself that I knew that I could have done better, but there's no use crying over spilled milk, therefore, take my advice into consideration.

You'd join several competitions during your junior year. And kept on losing. And at the very moment you thought you were such a big failure, you're gonna win a national-scale competition (not OSN, sorry. And don't even consider trying out) in a subject of which you want to major in college. Don't ever give up, keep that in mind.

You're gonna be a busybody throughout your 2nd year in high school. You're gonna get the position you aimed for in your subsi, and not to mention you're gonna be the pre-event coordinator for a big school event. But then again, every position requires great responsibility, you're gonna get through it but ask yourself, organisation activities are rather time consuming, are you really sure that you want to do this? Because now I look back and wish that I had said no, but seeing of what a power-thirst person you really are, I assume you're gonna take the role anyways.

And in order to be able to conquer everything that you have signed up for, there needs to be sacrifices. I haven't touched my glove in a year. You're gonna drop softball. Mainly because you will definitely not have anymore time to play, seeing how packed your schedule would be for the next year, but also because of that slight heartache that it had caused you a few months back. You'd soon realize that you're not going anywhere with it, so pursuing it other than as a hobby is practically useless.

You'd get into certain unimportant fights with your friends. Please take note that sometimes it's okay to be gabut because you need a rest, other times you are not gabut but some people make you seem like you are because they are so arrogant that they chose to takeover the things that are supposed to be handled by you, therefore making them seem like the victim of having to do your job, when the truth is they won't let you do your job. Some people are irrational, but who is there to blame? After all you and your friends are a bunch of inexperienced teenagers, that is why you guys need to accept the fact that at certain times you have to admit that you are childish, there's no need to be a know-it-all. You're gonna have to work with what possibly seems like the most annoying group of people ever, but there's no need to worry because your parents are both professionals and their maturity will guide you throughout the whole thing.

Alright, down to the personal stuffs. I know you're getting pretty close to a guy whom you considered your friend, and there's no need to deny that you've got feelings for him even though he's probably the last person on earth that you would consider to be your boyfriend. Well, news flash, you're gonna date him, but only for a few months. You guys would break up before your birthday, and another advice: whenever you date a guy, break up with him after your birthday so that he's still obliged to give you a birthday gift. You knew it wasn't gonna work out from the start, you'd try so hard to make things do that you didn't realize that it never will. And I don't blame you for that, your feelings could get rid of all your rationality. And you'll be stuck in this seemingly endless galauness for a few months before you could look back and finally regret the moment when you kept on talking instead of signing out. The hardest part is losing that person as a friend as he got pretty busy with college stuffs and became excruciatingly annoying.

Oh, anyways I just got back from a trip from Western Europe. Yes, you're gonna fulfill your long life dream of going to Western Europe, after a setback caused by Visa problems during the 9th grade.

Other than that, I wish you all the best for the year to come. Pray for me (and future you) so that I could achieve your dream of getting accepted into Ilmu Ekonomi FEUI. My last advice to you, use your time wisely and enjoy every moment as hard as they seem, because in the end you'd get through all the problems you have, people always do, right? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Best of luck for you,

Future You

ZURPRIZE

2011-06-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

TAU NGGAK SIH LO...................

Padahal dari kemaren gue udah waswas peringkat gue bakal turun terus ternyata............alhamdulillah naik. Peringkat berapa? Ya segitu deh, kan semester lalu gue peringkat 2 berarti sekarang gue peringkat........#SoalLogika. HAHAHAHAH nggak nyangka banget, abis semester 2 ini gue super sibuk ngurus hal-hal nggak jelas, apalagi kemaren sumatif gue remed 2 biji. Tau-tau pas sampe sekolah Sisi ngomong, "Mir, lo ranking 1." Gue kira ngibul, tapi dia kan suka psychic gajelas gitu (seperti waktu dia memprediksikan tim gue bakal masuk final pas di IPB) eh tau2 pas ngintip bener HUAHAHAHAHAH *senggol bacok* *salah ekspresi* intinya bersyukur banget, padahal udah siap-siap nangis2 kalo peringkat turun takut undangan. Semoga ini melancarkan jalan gue buat dapet undangan, terus masuk Ilmu Ekonomi FEUI/FASS NUS/Department of Economics University of Chicago.

Oh ya, seperti biasa, gue suka berubah tujuan kuliah, dan sekarang mulai beralih ke University of Chicago, tapi memang karena abis googling kemana2, ternyata universitas ini punya economics undergraduate program kedua terbaik setelah MIT, terus gue ogah masuk MIT namanya aja udah bikin gerah hawa2 ditolak. Selain itu, Chicago cuma minta nilai SAT Reasoning Test, sementara kalo mau Ivy League biasanya dimintain Subject Test juga. And by the way, dari dulu emang gue pengen banget ke Chicago entah kenapa. Semoga ini pertanda. My mom said that kalo mau kuliah di Amrik, harus yang 10 besar di dunia. Emang kesannya impossible, apalagi buat seorang anak Indonesia yang nilainya segitu2 doang dan nggak terlalu aktif di organisasi luar sekolah, tapi......

"Jangan takut untuk bermimpi, karena semua kesuksesan berasal dari mimpi." - Takitri Edisi Juni 2011.

Speaking of Takitri, edisi kedua akhirnya terbit nih walaupun sempet keteteran. Alhamdulillah, sold out lagi HAHAHAH. Emang angkatan gue walaupun suka resek jago deh <3 Agak gabut sih di akhir-akhir, gue gak ngurus pas naik cetak karena gaada kendaraan terus percetakannya di Monday, gadeng Senen kranchhhh garing. Tapi paling nggak gue ngeliput ini itu lah dikit2 terus mintain sponsor tunggal (tunggal karena emang satu-satunya o___o)

TERUSSSSSSS hari Minggu ini gue berangkat ke Amsterdam. FUCKYEAH akhirnya visa yang ngurusnya super lama itu keluar juga. Akhirnya impian dari SMP jadi kenyataan, Western Europe here I come! Not to mention ntar stopovernya di Dubai karena pesawatnya Emirates. HA, HA *gasps*

Things are working out quite well for me today, padahal semalem gue lagi di titik puncak kegalauan karena ini itu, terus tiba-tiba semuanya berputar balik ea. Sekarang bosen. Belom packing tapi males. Ngerjain PR ekonomi aja apa? Siapa tau gurunya Bu Sadiah lagi.

Diferensiasi dan Stratifikasi Siswa SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta

2011-06-14T07:29:00.000-07:00

Setelah hampir 2 tahun di SMA 8, kayanya persepsi awal gue tentang sekolah ini semuanya udah terhapus oleh kenyataan. Orang-orang bilang kalau SMA 8 itu all work no play, anak-anaknya geeky semua, tralalalala. Sebenernya.........itu salah besar. Karena SMA 8 terdiri dari siswa-siswi yang sangat diverse sampe untuk mengklasifikasikan mereka harus ada tolak ukur yang berbeda-beda.

So, out of boredom, I thought I'd publish this list of nonsensical classification that I have concluded throughout 2 years in this damned school. Jadi sifatnya subjektif. So don't complain, because why should one complain about what others think? "Because they publish it online." My respond to that answer, I didn't ask you to read this. So if you're already well-prepared to negate my views, feel free to close this window (or tab)

>>Based on kepintaran:

1. Jenius. Tipe-tipe anak yang ikut OSN, tidur di kelas, baca buku sekali, pas ulangan dapet 100

2. Pinter. Mostly anak-anak pinter ini pinter bukan karena otak mereka emang cepet nangkep, oke jangan salah, most students di SMA 8 itu emang punya kemampuan buat nangkep pelajaran yang sangat cepat, tapi untuk ukuran SMA 8, anak pinter ini biasa aja. TAPI MEREKA RAJIN.

3. Biasa. SANGAT RAJIN BELAJAR kalo lagi ulangan timeline-nya isinya bahas soal semua, tapi pas ulangan hasilnya ya gitu-gitu aja.

4. Nggak mau usaha. Nggak ada kata bodoh, anak-anak ini emang pemalas setengah mampus, yang bahkan 5 menit sebelum ujian baru bertanya "Apaan sih yang diulanganin?"

Ya, tingkatan ini bisa diibaratkan sistem pelapisan sosial vertikal yang kaku karena sulit sekali terjadi pergerakan secara vertikal naik dari satu tingkat ke tingkat di atasnya, mengingat kepintaran ini purely based on IQ.

>>Based on Cara Belajar dan Sikap Terhadap Pelajaran

1. A nice and modest smart-ass, who studies from every problem set there is and willingly share their knowledge (and also, soal-soal) with everyone else

2. A bunch of competitive freaks who'd erase a really valuable e-mail berisi latihan soal di e-mail angkatan so that no one would read it

3. Anak pinter yang gak peduli dunia, tidur di kelas pas tes dapet bagus bikin sakit hati semua orang

4. Anak biasa yang rajin belajar untuk mendapatkan nilai di atas SKBM atau bahkan pas SKBM terus selalu sakit hati pas anak tipe nomer 3 dapet nilai bagus

5. Cheaters. Murid-murid super males dengan kemampuan menyontek ulung sampe-sampe kimia bisa 95, tapi sering kali nggak beruntung terus terancam nggak naik kelas

Tipe 1,2,3 = 25%. Sisanya tipe 4 dan 5. Tapi tipe 2 juga bisa berbagi karakteristik dengan tipe 5, yakni = segala cara halal asalkan gue ranking 1 di kelas.

>>Based on Kelompok Sosial

1. Queen bee, the ultimate king and queens of high school, or so they think. Consists of a limited amount of kids yang kerjaannya gaul-spot hopping, ganti DP BBM sama foto di swanky cafe ke foto di swanky cafe lainnya.

2. Wannabes, ngikut-ngikut kelompok 1 padahal aslinya kampungan tapi pengen dapet recognition. Usually less-rupawan. And are the most annoying people that could ever exist on the face of the earth.

3. Modest-popular, anak biasa aja tapi bisa bergaul dengan anak-anak tipe 1 dan 2. Biasanya orang yang baik and really outgoing yang semua orang kenal.

4. Modest-less-popular, masih punya gaya, cenderung normal walaupun punya a slight freakiness in them, tapi masih dalam batas yang wajar.

5. Freaks, just being a total freakshow. Anti-dunia, adapun dunia yang nggak mereka benci adalah dunia mereka sendiri. Bisa pinter, bisa nggak, tapi pastinya suka tiba-tiba heboh sendiri for God knows what.

6. Geeks, anak super pinter that don't hang out and socialize much. Tapi when it comes to pelajaran, don't you dare mess with them.

>>Based on Sifat Berorganisasi

1. True leader, orang visioner dengan akal pikiran yang rasional. Kalau lo mikir banyak anak dengan tipe kaya gitu di 8...........SALAH BESAR! My mom finds most of my friends rather irrational and childish, but she thinks it's quite normal, due to the fact that we're still teenagers, even the once which you thought are actually top-notch manusia-organisasi.

2. Organisator lebay yang merasa diri mereka true leader. Characteristics that I've mentioned di poin pertama. Irrational and childish. Not to mention LEBAY TO DA MAX when it comes to urusan organisasi. Slogan: Kami keluarga. Waktu istirahat habis untuk kumpul subsi.

3. Worker, tipe-tipe orang yang "kalo kerja ayo, kalo nggak yaudah" Dibilang gabut nggak, dibilang aktif juga nggak.

4. GABUT. Males diasosiasikan dengan kegiatan apapun, toh SMA itu buat senang-senang kan kenapa dibawa susah. Antara ini, atau alasan lainnya: nggak sejalan sama organisasi yang dipilih.

5. Pembangkang, plotting every scheme to go against apa yang secara norma dianggap baik just for the sake of rebelling. Sama aja kaya nomer 2 tapi versi negatifnya.

>>Based on Level of Maintenance

1. High maintenance, kemana-mana naik mobil, punya iPhone dan Blackberry Torch atau HP non-BB/iPhone lainnya yang super mahal, kalo jajan ngeluarin duit kaya daun, panas dikit ngomel banyak, kena panas langsung nyari tempat berteduh, kalo ulangtaun ngadain pesta di tempat mahal. Bisa punya salah satu atau beberapa karakter ini, atau lebih parah, semuanya.

2. Low maintenance, suka nyari tebengan, kalo gaada ya angkot boleh deh, HP Gemini pake paket gaul atau non-BB, kalo mau beli makanan mikir 5 kali sampe bel, siap menghadapi cuaca apapun, ogah ngadain pesta gede-gedean dan memilih jadi anak rumahan buat hemat duit.

3. Regular, yang punya perpaduan antara 2 itu.

Please note Level of Maintenance itu bukan tingkat ekonomi ya, tapi lebih condong ke arah gaya hidup. CIEAH.

>> Based on Interest

1. Smart-ass: Forever belajar, eat breathe sleep pelajaran, kalo malem gabisa tidur instead of counting sheep, ngitung soal matematika. Kalo gabisa ngerjain soal heboh di Twitter, gaulnya di perpustakaan

2. Performing arts: Either good in dancing, singing, good with musical instruments, ya pokoknya gitu-gitu lah. Exceptionally confident, due to kebiasaan tampil.

3. Visual arts: Malem-malem jam 11 panik karena Photoshop/Pinnacle hang, hidup seakan dikejar deadline yang tiada habisnya. Seneng coret-coret buku, avatar berubah terus, biasanya hasil editan sendiri

4. Computer freaks: Sukanya mojok sambil main game atau ngapain kek pokoknya berhubungan dengan laptop. The person that you'd turn to saat mau ulangan TIK

5. Athletes (susah ditemukan di 8 sebenernya) yang pasti badan sporty, cekatan, tapi sayangnya nggak bisa menunjukkan kemampuan karena di sekolah cuma ada lapangan basket yang pas istirahat pun gak boleh dipake

6. Tukang masak, tiap weekend upload Twitpic foto hasil masakannya (padahal gajelas enak apa nggak), Mobile Uploads isinya foto makanan aneh di restoran yang gaya-gaya gitu

7. English Club, tukang debat, kalo ngobrol pake bahasa Inggris, cenderung ansos kaya Arif. Gadeng wkwk (padahal gue juga ikut English Club)

8. Apa aja dikerjain di luar sekolah, sebenernya anak tipe ini sangat aktif berorganisasi tapi emang bukan di sekolah, apa yang dikerjain juga sebenernya kita gatau tapi yang pasti dia lingkup pergaulannya sama anak SMA lain

>>Based on Social Networking Habits

1. Twitter:

a. Junkie, forever bacot tiap 5 menit update. "Mau ke toilet" pun bahkan ditulis di status

b. Bergaul dalam batas normal: Yang average tweet/day antara 5-15

c. The Silent Type: Ngetweet setaun sekali, pas update status di RT temen "tumben ngetweet"

2. Facebook

a. Status-updater: Nge-update status udah kaya nge-update Twitter

b. Normal: Make Facebook ketika diperlukan

c. Photo-uploader: Seneng ngeupload foto, biasanya anak yang punya SLR/hp yang bisa mobile-upload, kalo ada event bisa upload 3 album.

d. The stalker: Sisi buruk yang semua orang punya, senang menguntit foto dan info orang

3. Tumblr-holic: Kalo di Twitter suka muncul tweet http://tumblr.com/blablabla, isi HP-nya foto yang color tone-nya diedit dengan quotes bijak/aneh di atasnya. Ketauan banget deh kalo anak Tumblr...........gatau kenapa.

4. Blogger!!!!!!! Like moi. Kalo sekali ngepost panjang lebar isinya antara curhat atau mau berbagi pikiran. Cenderung outspoken.

5. An-Soc-Net: Gak punya salah satu social networking sites, atau bahkan semuanya

Kalo gue, tipe apa? HMMM it's hard to classify myself in any of those types, since I see me as a neutral element in such a hectic environment.............gadeng. Ada lah, tapi gue males juga nyebutnya. No harsh feelings, cuma pengen menuangkan some thoughts aja. Toodle-o!

Another Random Post

2011-06-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hey!!!!!! I'm currently baking red velvet cupcakes, I don't know how will they turn out, but let's just hope for the best, because the last batch of brownies that I baked looked more like chocolate condensed milk.......literally cair no matter how long I put them in the oven.

HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT MY DIANA DELUXE KIT HAS ARRIVED? It turns out that I needed to pay tax, so then jatohnya ternyata harganya sama aja kaya disini. Shoot. Anyways, gue udah beli film, initially I wanted to purchase only 1 roll of film so that I could check out the results first before moving on to my next roll, but my dad made me........buy three, one Fuji, one Kodak, and one B/W film. I've only shot 4 photos with the Fuji roll, I can't wait to get them printed out, tapi harus nyelesain 12 foto lagi sebelom nyuci. So far, my favorite lens is the fisheye lens...........okay mungkin favorit karena gue gangerti cara pake lensa yang lain.

Terus........hmmm I've finished my final exams. And..........gue remed bahasa Inggris. WASSUP WIT DAT?! Bete banget seumur-umur gue baru pernah sekali remed bahasa Inggris, and you know what, nilai gue sebenernya 82, tapi dibagi jadi 3 kan berdasarkan kompetensi, terus writing gue 70, di kelas lain 70 itu gak remed tapi guru yang dikelas gue nyuruh remed. AAAAAA. Ironisnya lagi, pas kelas 7 gue juara 1 Written Test tingkat DKI, KYAAAA KYAAAA (udah gatau mau ngomong apa)

I HATE TEENAGERS WHO TRY SO HARD TO LOOK MATURE!!!!!!! Here's the thing, kita emang harus bersikap dewasa, tapi jangan sampe lupa kalau kita masih kecil juga kali. Aduh plis dong, masih umur 17 taun aja kalo ke mall pake baju emak-emak, kalo ngobrol maunya pake bahasa formal (ini beneran ada loh, bukan ngobrol, tapi gue samarkan), kalo bikin *****, ******nya *** **** (nyokap gue aja sampe ketawa-ketawa bacanya) My mom told me that, emang belom saatnya bertingkah sok dewasa gitu, jatohnya jadi sok tau. Always trust a mother's judgment.

Which then brings me to this: I really look up to my mom, just so you know, even though she could get really annoying sometimes. But my mom had a bright career, I mean, gak bright-bright banget sampe terkenal, tapi her achievements were above exceptional lah. She received a Six-Sigma Master Black Belt in GE (idk what that is) and her last formal job, before she chose to retire and become a consultant, was Standard Chartered Bank's credit head for Indonesia. Other than that, kayanya nyokap gue mulutnya asin. Everything that comes out of her mouth beneran terjadi. Like that one time when my section in the student council, Wawasan Global, screwed up planning proker, she told me, "Ini ke depannya, untuk proker lainnya, pasti kacau" and she got that right. So every time my mom shares her view about any kind of organizations that I join, I always listen to her, even if her opinions contradicts sama opini temen gue yang lain.

Kadang gue bertanya-tanya kenapa gue mau masuk SMA 8. This school is so poorly managed, when I was in Madania, timeline setaun kedepan udah dibuat dari awal tahun pelajaran. Beda lah kalo lo ngebandingin Madania dan SMA 8. Kata nyokap gue SMA 8 itu cerminan dari pegawai negeri di Indonesia. Bikin jadwal sesuka hati, bisa gitu ada tes baru diumumin sehari sebelumnya padahal harusnya hari itu libur. Dan ujung-ujungnya, membangun siswa siswi dengan mindset dan kepribadian yang sama.

I know I complain a lot, but SMA 8 has done more damage to my ass (literally my ass, kadang pulang aja bisa 3 jam, bayangin sitting on a car for 3 hours) than any other schools. Bahkan di hari libur, gue harus pergi ke sekolah, pas sampe di sekolah, ternyata whatever it is I came for, dibatalin. Gue harus menempuh perjalanan 2 jam, buat tes yang kadang-kadang cuma 1 jam. But in a way, SMA 8 has taught me to be tough in a way. Maybe one day, I'll miss it more than anything, after all as people always say "you'll never know what you have until it's gone" but for the time being, SCREW YOU, YOU SNOBBY, PAIN-IN-THE-ASS PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna go check on my cupcakes now, toodle-o!

Scotty and Diana

2011-05-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

Attention, readers! My Facebook and MSN account is hacked by some random junior high kid that listed himself as my brother in Facebook (bukan Omar ya, ada satu anak alay, gue gakenal siapa) so please, kalo account gue berbuat aneh2, believe me it ain't moi.

Anyways, I am so thrilled that Scotty won!

I loved him from the start, even though he wasn't exactly the one I favored to win. At least it's not Haley Reinhart. Don't get me wrong, I love Haley, and her voice is just so........unique, but there's just something about her that's not "Idol" enough. I thought James was gonna win the whole thing, I mean, that guy's a true rocker and he never missed out on a note, as far as I recall. Other than James, my other prediction was Pia, but then again I guess Randy bener juga ya about her always singing ballad on every performance.

I hate it when people say "Yah, finalnya Lauren sama Scotty" Kenapa? 1) News flash, people, ini AMERICAN Idol gitu, and Americans love country music, jadi kalau ternyata yang masuk final are two country singers, well, it's not such a huge thrill for me, malah menurut gue this is how American Idol finale is supposed to be. 2) Dunno why gue seneng karena kedua finalisnya itu masih muda, the youngest people to make it to the finals in American Idol history. 3) Lauren and Scotty nyanyinya bagus gitu!!!!!!!!! They deserve to be in the finals. 4) I love Scotty for his charismatic-sounding-super-low-voice from the start. CONGRATS CIN <3<3<3

Tadinya gue mau beli Diana F+ sama Fisheye lens-nya doang. I'm not a huge photography freak, tapi gara-gara waktu itu diajak Chia dan Nape nyuci film, gue jadi penasaran. I googled everywhere, dan gaada yang jual Diana dengan harga dibawah 1 juta, adanya yang second and my dad doesn't allow me to buy secondhand product. Akhirnya karena desperate, gue nyari di website Lomography, and........huge shocker. Gue kira harganya bakal jauh lebih mahal, tapi ternyata kamera dan lensa Fisheye-nya harganya sama kaya 1 kamera disini. Just as I was about to purchase dua itu, my dad asked me to look for more info on the complete kit (since we went to Embassy 2 days ago) and it turns out kit-nya itu jatohnya jauh lebih murah daripada di Jakarta. Kalo di Embassy bisa 3jutaan, tapi di internet cuma 2,2 masa!!!!!!!! Kalo gue cuma beli 2 biji satuan, jatohnya jadi 1,3, tapi dengan beli kit seharga 2,2juta gue bisa dapet lensa fisheye, tele, wide, terus ada 35mm back juga, terus ada............ada apa aja sebenernya gue gangerti. Kata Cantya mending beli satuan aja, tapi bokap gue ngotot yang kit itu harga satuannya jadi lebih murah, akhirnya gue beli yang kit deh, pake duit lomba terus ditombokin sama nyokap, bokap, Omar. HORE!!!!!!!!! Tadinya ada yang mau ngebeliin gue lensa Fisheye tapi................gatau deh hahah kasian juga dia mending fokus ke yang lain, maaf ya! Semoga nasib kamera ini gak kaya pen-tablet gue yang sekarang bengong di kamar.

What else, um........I'm not satisfied with my scores. I mean, I'm thankful for them, and I have to admit sebenernya nilai gue ya......alhamdulillah ya. Tapi my Bahasa Indo teacher in Labsky, Pak Armat, once told me, "Jadi orang jangan cepet puas." Dan sampe sekarang kebawa. Harus bersyukur, tapi gaboleh cepet puas. Ayo berjuang demi invitation~

Dan sekarang gue capek banget *efek begadang pas malem ulangan* udahan deh, see ya later, folks!

I like guys with firm handshakes.

2011-05-23T22:33:00.000-07:00

I had quite an exhausting week, spent Monday and Tuesday studying for the upcoming final exams #biggestlieevertold. Then the exams themselves lasted from Wednesday until Friday, although I skipped econs test on Friday bcs I haven't studied anything the night before. And then I spent Friday til Monday in IPB, now it's Tuesday and accounting test is tomorrow.

Gue masih ngantuk banget sekarang.............terus males juga nyeritain the whole thing. Intinya, kemaren gue juara 2 9th Economics Contest-nya IPB HAHAH. Bukan gue juga sih yang menang, kan setim sama Sisi. Karena panjang jadi nyeritainnya per-poin aja.

1. Harus nginep. Dari tanggal 20-23, dan itu capek banget karena gue lagi sumatif. I DIDN'T WANT TO GO, tapi gimana lagi dong.......hari pertamanya, penginapannya was like, I don't know, some sort of ghost house or something: old, spooky, not to mention the toilet was (maaf) disgusting. But thank God panitianya moved us to a hotel, which was a WHOLE LOT BETTER. Not to mention, it had an attached bathroom, air conditioner, TV, and a decent bed. Oh ya, gue sekamar sama Sisi dan Bu Citra, padahal peserta lain kaya dicampur gitu, whatevah.

2. I'm not a very sociable person. Oke pesertanya itu nggak cuma dari Jakarta doang, ada dari Padang, Bengkulu, Palembang, Bali, dll. Terus gimana ya...........kebetulan gue emang lagi capek banget, jadi males bersosialisasi, ujung-ujungnya jadi ansos, kesannya sombong. Padahal nggak loh, the other thing is, I don't usually try to fit in into an environment that I don't feel comfortable to be in. So, that's that.

3. Sisi itu anak liar. Our paper revolved on food diversification, and when we presented it, the judges asked us a question, "have you ever eaten a grasshopper? It's a good source of protein" I thought we were toast, but then Sisi said she has eaten a grasshopper before. Pas ditanya, "kalau laron?" I thought we were REALLY toast this time, turns out si anak Bekasi ini udah pernah makan laron. Stupid thing is, I promised her if we won, I would eat a grasshopper. And we won. Jadi....................................

4. The competition's semifinals consisted of 4 rounds. The first one was paper presentation, which my team completely aced, thanks to keliaran si Sisi. Yang kedua, mungkin bagian terlaknat dari kompetisi ini, ekonomi matematika, atau matek. Gue sering banget liat a senior of mine, who is in FEUI, tweeted tentang kebenciannya terhadap matek, ternyata..........sangat..........susah. Rumusnya gue tau, tapi pas disuruh ngerjain bingung. Matematika Bu Pur aja nggak sesusah itu :') ROUND 2: EPIC FAIL. Terus yang ketiga square table, which was more like diskusi panel rather than a debate. Since I've had several debate practices before, gue ikut 2 dari 3 debat yang ada, terus Sisi cuma 1. The first one was on "Indonesia sudah mengambil langkah yang benar dengan hanya mengekspor barang primer" and I totally flunked, mainly because I have no idea of what "barang primer" is (bego) and because my opponent gave out a really bad dan ganyambung opening motion. Sisi aced the second one, and I was attacked by everybody on the third one, because it seems like I'm the only one who doesn't agree that free trade bisa mensejahterakan hidup petani. TAPI KAN EMANG BENER, free trade memang gabisa mensejahterakan hidup petani, toh yang untung kan ekspotirnya bukan petaninya, tapi kayanya my opponents cannot differentiate between perdagangan bebas dan perdagangan internasional. Sorry to say. Fourth one itu tes tertulis, yaaaaa gue ngerjain PG, Sisi ngerjain essay, by the end of the day, the glass seemed half empty.

5. Padahal niatnya gue udah mau pulang cepet karena si Sisi sakit, terus tiba-tiba masuk finals, and my first reaction was "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" Kenapa? 1) Gak nyangka, 2) Belom nyiapin apa-apa, secara malem sebelumnya malah tidur. Terus yang masuk final itu SMA 8, SMA 3 Denpasar (btw paper presentation mereka cool bgt, sampe jurinya bilang "kalo ini skripsi, kamu udah lulus"), Alpus, sama SMA 1 Depok (yang ternyata salah satu anggotanya itu udah keterima IE FEUI, suckz pantes aja pinter) First round, analisis soal. Dan soalnya itu persis banget sama salah satu objek yang kami angkat untuk presentasi kemaren, which is water privatization. I still remember clearly pasal apa aja yang ada, not to mention the use of English language itu bisa nambah 10 poin. Akhirnya we won that round dengan perolehan nilai jauh diatas yang lain kqkqkqk. Terus babak kedua itu babak amplop, jadi ntar kita disuruh milih 1 amplop, each consists of 15 questions, terus di babak ini we were total losers. We only answered 8 out of 15 questions HAHA terus jadi pesimis karena perolehan skor sementaranya puts us in the bottom. In the third and final round, cepat tepat. Gue panikan, that's why I don't do well in cepat tepats. Apalagi rata2 lawannya anak OSK semua, sementara gue dan Sisi bukan anak OSK. Terus kalo jawab salah itu dikurangin poin nya, jadi kalo mau pencet bel juga gue mikir 2 kali. But in the end we chose to play it safe, if we're not 100% sure, we won't buzz. Dan akhirnya that's the one thing that saved us. Anyways, yang menang si anak Depok itu, iya lah anak IE. Terus we got second place, dengan total skor yang cuma beda 1,8 sama Alpus. Yang kasian yang dari Bali itu, padahal mereka makalahnya udah super bagus.

6. Terus gue menang juara favorit. HAHA WTH IS JUARA FAVORIT. I thought juara favorit was kind of like, peserta terbaik, and I never imagined that I would win it, since throughout the competition I was ansos and pasif. But then it turns out kalo juara favorit itu dipilih sama judges nya, and I guess I was chosen because of my use of English pas babak analisis soal. Padahal untuk ukuran debate, my argument was pretty messed up. TAPI WHATEVAH, yang penting dapet sertifikat, bisa dimasukin ke daftar prestasi juga kaqaqaqaqaqaq.

7. LO kita super nice, namanya Kak Windy. Masalahnya adalah, gue, Sisi, dan Bu Citra itu sangat nyusahin, tapi dia tetep menghadapi dengan sabar. Baiknya itu kebangetan. Terus dia dulu anak 71, terus ternyata kepala sekolah 3 yang gosipnya mau pindah ke 8 itu dulu kepala sekolah dia, terus dia cerita-cerita deh. And she supported us all the way through padahal kitanya udah pesimis.

8. I LIKE GUYS WITH FIRM HANDSHAKES. Dan muka ganteng. And glasses. Terus pinter. Although a bit angkuh, but that's the daya tarik, man. Cowok yang dingin itu keren, dingin ya, angkuh tapi bukan sombong. Terus berkelas. Terus sekolahnya elit.

9. Mau beli Diana aja deh pake duitnya. We got 2 million, tapi we're gonna have to split, terus mau beliin sesuatu buat Bu Citra. Jadi kalau mau beli Diana juga harus nombokin, gapapa deh asalkan beli HA!

10. BTW kan anak Alpus nya ada 2 orang, terus satunya itu temennya Omar. Satunya lagi kakak kelas yang katanya Omar ngeselin. Terus guru pembimbingnya itu bekas kakak kelas Bu Citra dan sekarang ngajar si Omar di Alpus, and Omar just IM-ed me and told me that she talked about me at school. Ecie.

11. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, BU CITRA ITU BAIK BANGET PARAH. Oke ternyata gue belajar bahwa guru itu nggak selamanya dewasa......gadeng. Tapi dia seru banget dan sabar ngurusin gue dan Sisi. Not to mention dia selalu maksa gue sholat dan gabakal nyerah sampe gue beneran sholat. Terus dibeliin roti unyil (penting) nyebelinnya: gamau ngebocorin soal akun.

Udahan ah, mau tidur lagi. Ntar diupload futu2nya.

Mid-April and Early-May

2011-05-08T05:39:00.000-07:00

I've finished my first pack of colored Instax film, and am currently on my second one. I have this thing for pictures, not artistic pictures, but the ones that captures moments. They're tangible proves that brings back all the happy memories (I mean, who would take pictures when they're pissed off?)

1) Acara Keluarga, not exactly sure apaan.

First picture: Kak Nadia, Mas Echa, and me. Kak Nadia is Mas Echa's wife, and Mas Echa itu sepupu tertua from my mom's family. Anyways they just got married a month ago and are currently expecting. They've dated for as long as I could remember, they were already together when my grandpa's still alive, and he passed away 9 years ago. I don't understand why did they date for so long instead of getting married right away, but it's their business so whatevssss. Anyways, this is the first time any of my cousin got married, and my grandma was ecstatic when she first heard the news. But Kak Nadia is practically like family, I mean, she always stops by on Lebarans and joins us kalau ada makan-makan keluarga besar. Kayanya every time any of my cousin has a boyfriend/girlfriend, pasti dikenalin ke keluarga gue. Cuma gue sama Omar aja yang belom wkwk.

Second picture: My mom, my grandma, and me. And yes, my mom always looks like that whenever someone snaps a picture of her. She is the total opposite of photogenic and that's something that my dad, my brother, and I always make fun of. My grandma on the other hand, always manages to look classy (or at least not-trashy) in photographs. She's 81 years old, btw.

2) Mesigician!

Maker Ang. Mesis XXIII (Maker = Malam Kekerabatan, in case ada yang gatau) Seru lah, tapi ruangannya agak kecil jadi sumpek gitu terus I sweat like a pig. Emang gaada rumah yang lebih oke daripada rumah nenek gue (tssssssah) Temanya Magician, terus dress code nya wizards-ish.

First and third picture: INDRA HERLAMBANG DATENG! Keren kan, doi alumni Mesis loh! And he shared a few funny stories with us, about his memories of SMA 8. Kuddos for Ang. Mesis XXIII yang udah sukses neror doi lewat Twitter.

Second picture: Sayang banget kan ke wizard-themed party kalo gak foto sama Dobby, the House Elf?

Fourth picture: My so-called-buddies, Aga and Hiyal. Anyways, Aga super ganteng di foto itu (doang) and idk why but Hiyal and I made it compulsory for us to take pictures together on every occasion.

3) MUN

By far the weirdest competition I've ever joined. Alsa E-Comp Model United Nations. This is my first "verbal" English comp btw, I usually join written competitions gitu2. And I lost, but it's okay, kan buat pengalaman. Capek banget, dan super ngeselin. I mean, for the first time in my life, I met people who are THAT ambitious, they'd sweet-talk and back stab you. But my mom told me kalau in real life, banyak orang yang kaya gitu. Jadi males dewasa............one thing's for sure though, kayanya masuk hukum is definitely not on my list anymore, go, go, masuk FE!

First picture: Me and my fellow lomba mates from SMA 8, there's Arif, Naomi, (gue), and Riri, Midia is on Riri's right but Dinov is not very good at taking pictures that he left her out.

Second picture: My council, Special Session for Children. Topik yang diangkat is about child soldiers, and we are probably the most unproductive council dibandingin sama the four other councils, we didn't even come up with a resoulution.

4) FB8 and ASC and Expression 2011

Karena angkatan gue hebat (and also by Nanang's request) Festival Budaya tahun ini diadain di TMII, sekalian sama this acara called Gebyar 8, tapi gue gak dateng, males. You see, I'm not really a big fan of anything yang diselenggarain 8, iya gue emang antipati banget sama sekolah ini, but I had a good time, though.

First and second picture: We had to choose a country and decorate our stand dengan dekorasi khas negara itu, my class got Japan. Our stand really resembled a Japanese restaurant not to mention our sushis are sold out, but we didn't win, which is okay though because we had a good time.....oke mungkin gue nggak terlalu karena gue gabut hehe.

Third picture: With @cantjja! Kan ceritanya PJ Caang Mesis 22 sama PJ Caang Mesis 23. I actually have a whole lot in common with her, especially when it comes to our grudging hatred towards *****. She's Iswo's little sister, I know her mom since junior high but I don't know her that well sampe dia masuk Mesis.

Fourth picture: Sweet kan? Ini foto di stand Expression, karena waktu itu gak sempet foto ketua dan kedua wakilnya lengkap bertiga pas maker, akhirnya baru foto kemaren deh. Harusnya Aga megang tulisan 'Amira' instead of 'Mesis' tapi I took a picture with Virza on the same stand terus tulisannya........ALAY HAHAHAHA liat aja deh ntar kalo udah ada.

Oh ya, terus One Day is coming to theaters next summer. Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yang jadi Emma is Anne Hathaway and Dexter is played by Jim Sturgess. DEXTER I LOVE YOU! Here's the official trailer.

The Usual Business

2011-04-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to think that I'm bipolar. Alright, that's a bit overrated. I've been having mood swings lately, I don't know why. Probably bcs I am damn exhausted. First week of school syndrome, I get too caught up with not being obliged to go to school everyday that when I actually have to.....ARGH.

I've been cursing, in Twitter. I know, it's a really bad habit. My mom always told me I shouldn't tell the whole world of what I'm feeling but it felt SO GOOD. In a sense it lets you believe that people are listening, although the truth is they don't give a fucking damn, even if they do, they'd be so pissed off cause I'm so whiny.

I feel like I've got tons of problems weighing me down. Okay, I actually don't, but I've got so much on my to do list that it freaks my out. I've got 6 susulan and have only completed 1 out of it, and then I have to ngurus 8Schoolastic (don't get me wrong, I love organizing stuffs like this but I'm so tired right now), I'm also joining 2 competitions in the near future, the first one is ALSA E-Comp MUN and this is my very first Model United Nation......scratch that, this is my first verbal English competitions, the English competitions that I won during junior high were mostly, if not mostly then all, written tests and stuffs like that. I cannot orate well, I have bad articulation, and I lack of formal vocabs, therefore I cannot deliver a good speech even though Arif told me I had brilliant ideas. I haven't won any competitions in high school and it would be fantastic if I could restore my former glory days even though they wouldn't be as glorious as they were in junior high, after all in 8 it seems like every other day, some kid would bring home a gold medal from the national science olympics and blah blah blah. The second competition, not quite sure, it's in IPB though. The deadline's on April 30th. Gambling banget nih ikutnya haha.

And then personal stuffs. I don't know, I'm feeling kinda lonely lately. You know, that sudden I-don't-have-friends kind of feeling. I just feel so exhausted and I could really use a sincere hug but no one gives a damn about anything I say and most people give out heartless hugs. Even the friends whom I was close to are starting to drift away from me. And that's just..........sad. The people who you thought you could count on are turning their backs on you, doesn't that upset you? Those who I used to talk to everyday, God knows where they are right now, anyways I'm not talking about anyone specific here. Your dearest friends turned into such assholes that you can't even remember why you were friends in the first place. I feel empty. I mean, I've had a couple of laughs during these past few days, my class never fails to crack me up, and the MUN gang are quite okay, but all I need now is not a friend who could make me laugh but a friend who'd sit down with you and listen to you babble about how annoying life has been lately.

I just realized how solitary I was when a friend told me about how he's gonna miss his high school friends and stuffs now that he's graduating, and then I responded "I'd survive, I don't keep in touch with my friends from elementary and junior high." Which then brought me to realization that I don't communicate with my friends from Madania, and the only friends that I have still maintained good contact with are Smita, Kara, and a bunch of other random kids. My mom always said that we cannot hang on to other people because in the end we're gonna face the world alone, but doesn't feeling lonely bug you?

I always have plans after school, no, I don't hang out. I've got a bunch of errands to run, meetings and discussions to attend, tests to finish. And by the time I get home, I'm exhausted. I feel so tired but I can't keep myself away from the computer. And before I knew it, it was 10 already, but all I did for an hour was open my Facebook and Twitter. SO-NOT-PRODUCTIVE. Haven't been reading about what's going on with the world, don't you miss me world, now that I don't read the newspaper as often as I used to? Not to mention I haven't touched any notes or textbooks, to let you in on a little secret I don't study on a daily basis and it makes me ashamed bcs I cannot maximize my full potential (if I really do got one)

Anyways I attended maker on Saturday, it was pretty fun, Indra Herlambang really came this year. Even though I was drenched in sweat, I had a good time. I'd post the pictures later. Sorry for curhating again, after all this is my blog and I'm entitled to write whatever crap I want.

Cliche

2011-04-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

Hello, fellas. How's your holiday?

Liburan gue garing parah, as crispy as KFC. I stayed in Jakarta, I didn't make any plans because I have a lot to catch up at school, but so it turns out all I did was throw myself onto the couch and watch TV from dawn til dusk. And until this very moment, I have only done my econs assignment and finished 4 soal dari 20 soal yang dikasih Bu Pur. Definitely not a productive holiday.

I managed to finish A novel though (penekanan pada A nya ya, segitu nggak produktifnya gue sampe cuma bisa nyelesain satu novel)

Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet. Gue sering banget liat buku ini di Periplus, but never had the urge to purchase it because of the title, you know, it sorta resembles Breakfast at Tiffany's and by some reason made the book looks like a knock-off of one of Truman Capote's famous works. But then I opened one of my friends' Tumblr account *pengakuan dosa* then saw this........apa ya namanya, a sequence of screen-captures terus ada captionnya gitu. Nih.

And I thought it was kinda sweet so I googled the novel and found resensinya. It's about a girl, who had an imaginary friend. Then he went away when she was 9, came back as human when she was 32. A bit cliche, slightly TOO sweet, but I loved it anyways. What can I say, I'm a sucker for romantic stories. I'm a hopeless romantic with no love life. KACRINGGG can I get a high five *mabok*

Kalo lo anak 8, pasti udah pernah nonton ini. Oke lebay dikit, tapi serius, film ini lagi mewabah banget di angkatan gue. Even the boys in my class ikut nonton pas film ini disetel di kelas (one of the great things about 8 is that you could turn your classroom into a layar tancep dadakan studio) Once again, TOTAL CLICHE, ugly duckling turned into a beautiful princess kinda cliche. Everyone cried, especially di scene when us audiences figured out that P'Shone was actually crazy for Nam, bahkan rather obsessed, he has an album full of her pictures. I liked it, tapi emang terlalu sweet to be true juga sih. Although the truth is I secretly want a guy gitu ke gue (right, secret's out) Anyways the guy who played P'Shone, whatever his real name was, is just.......dewa, ganteng parah, one of my classmates even cried and said "Mau pacar orang Thailand."

Another cliche, cupcakes. Kayanya cupcakes lagi in banget kali ya, lama2 jadi basi. Gue udah kebelet bikin cupcake dari kelas 10 tapi sekalinya kesampean, gagal. And then I watched DC Cupcakes on StarWorld terus kebelet pengen bikin lagi.

Ya, ada lah jalan-jalannya dikit. I went to GI with my ex-classmates in XB, terus lucu juga kita bilangnya jalan bareng XB padahal truth is cuma berenam. Ada gue Sahil Didit Sam Nesya Ghina. Terus akhirnya gue kesampean juga fotobox gaul di Blitz, mana rusuh banget lagi, pas keluar dari booth nya udah kacau semua gara2 desek2an. I had an amazing time though, it was definitely the highlight of my holiday (saking garingnya liburan gue)

BELIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gue pengen banget kamera fisheye karena gabisa bikin efek fisheye di photoshop, kalo cuma ngedit2 tone doang ada senjata rahasianya kan HEHE. ARGH the one on top is Fisheye 2, kalo di Kaskus harganya 700rb, kalo di toko lomo di Level One GI harganya 945rb *brb jual diri* tapi tetep aja, walaupun sebenernya duit gue di tabungan cukup, I won't use it cos I'm saving up for college............OKE ketauan boong karena duit gue di tabungan cuma cukup buat bayar SPP 3 bulan. Tapi males ngeluarin duit karena udah beli Instax. Ada yang mau beliin gak? Beliin dong. Atau nggak beliin Holga K200NM aja deh, soalnya lensanya bisa dicopot jadi Holganya bisa dipake biasa, terus lensa Fisheye bisa dipake kamera digital. BELIIN, BELIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Harganya cuma 600rb. Kok gue jadi ngiklan sih.

Ah, that's it from me lah, join me next time, same time, same channel. Mau siap-siap buat maker dulu, we we we so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: Pengen ganti header tapi gatau ganti apaan, giliran udah dapet ide.......gabisa bikinnya HEHE.

:)

2011-04-10T05:17:00.001-07:00

Hmmm. It's been more than a month since I last posted. Bukannya sibuk, tapi males. I've actually written 6 drafts before I actually finished this one. Tiap di tengah jalan pasti bawaannya males, jadi basi. Kayanya gue kehilangan kemampuan menulis gue........like I ever had one.

So, how's it going with you guys? Not that I care, since I'm such a self-centered bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone else. Wkwk canda. Alright, so, let's cut straight to the chase.

1. Kena DBD. I had to spend 5 days in the hospital, but it didn't suck as much as people said it would, what I hate most about being sick is that every food you put in your mouth tastes bitter, but other than that, I actually enjoyed being sick. No one bugged me for one whole week, I got a chance to take a break from everything. Tapi ternyata gak bertahan lama, karena........

2. Gue jadi koor pre-event 8Schoolastic. Buat yang mau tau 8Schoolastic itu apa, mungkin gue belom bisa tulis disini kali ya soalnya masih rancu, intinya lomba, tapi ada yang tingkat Jabodetabek sama tingkat nasional. Lomba apa? Mostly academic stuffs. Why did I even bother to join? Ditawarin, besides, pengalaman organisasi might be useful for my college resume, and then again, I always love organizing stuffs, even though I wouldn't say that I, myself, am organized.

3. BT? Takitri? Jumpalitan. Tapi BT udah mau kelar, terus I've finished 3 out of 4 interviews for Takitri. BT bikin gue bete abis2an sih kemaren tapi yaudah lah, udah resiko kan.

4. (kok fotonya gede banget ya, L-R: Sikil, Rahma, Moi, Hijal) Rahma's birthday bash! I don't get invited to a lot of birthday parties, truth is I don't really like going to one, I'd rather stay at home and catch a marathon of......any TV show that's on a marathon on Saturday nights. But since Rahma is one of my closest friend, not to mention the most annoying chairmate I've ever had during 10th grade, I sort of feel that I'm obliged to come. And so I did, and I must admit I had a great time. Took some pictures, grabbed free food, had some laughs. Blabla, typical high school stuffs.

5. I'm gonna join MUN di E-Comp ALSA FHUI. What exactly is MUN? It's short for United Nations, each participant is assigned to represent a country, and are given a motion to discuss about, persis kaya di sidang UN. Kayanya menarik, but to be pretty honest I'm kinda scared. All my life semua English competitions that I've joined.....they're written tests, gapernah speaking. So, we'll just see how this would turn out.

6. Abis techmeet MUN kemaren, gue ke FEUI. Masih galau kuliah juga sih. Gue takut banget gak keterima di FE entah kenapa. Tapi pastinya gue nggak bakal ke Australi karena they require foreign students to take a basic foundation course that would last for a year, dan harganya mahal banget. Mungkin tes NUS, tapi masih bingung lah. Only time will tell.

7. INDIA FRENZY!!!!! Gara-gara hari Jumat kemaren nggak ada guru, jadinya kelas gue nonton Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham (gimana sih nulisnya) lebay sih iya, gausah ditanya, tau lah film India kaya gimana, but I actually enjoyed it, I gotta say I kinda love drama. Ceritanya sedih, my friends cried tapi gue gabisa nangis kalo nonton rame-rame. I'm trying to watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai tapi buffernya takes forever jadi males. Kalo aja Indian movies would contain less singing (karena I hate it when they get to the good part, all of a sudden they'd break into a song) and make their actors wear more decent clothes, yaaaaa gak bakal norak2 banget lah.

8. Mid-test. Alay. Nilai gue sebagian alhamdulillah, sosio astaghfirullah. Remed. Semester ini gue gapernah gak remed sosio. I don't understand Pak Priyo, padahal udah ada sistem undangan kaya sekarang ini, ulangan malah dibikin tambah susah. Maunya apa sih, Pak?

9. Akhirnya sodara gue ada yang nikah. Mas Echa finally tied the knot with Kak Nadia, his girlfriend of approximately 10 years (possibly more, cos my mom told me they've been dating since high school, and now they're both 30) AKHIRNYA. Kak Nadia is practically like family, dia selalu dateng gitu tiap Lebaran, setelah ditunggu-tunggu, akhirnya (ulang) But then my mom came up to me and say, "Don't ever date someone for too long. If sometime in the future you have a boyfriend like that cousin of yours, I'm gonna break you guys apart and find you a new one."

10. I've grown a huge fascination towards cupcake (???????????) and am wanting a Fisheye camera so badly right now. Tapi gapunya duit. Gadeng bukannya gapunya duit cos my mom just deposited loads of cash into my account, tapi ya......karena gue orang Padang. Nuff said.

And there's one last thing. I bumped into someone yesterday. Someone whom I've never met before and have only seen fotonya di Facebook. Turns out orangnya is more good looking then I've expected. And earlier on today, I fell asleep after atletik, and I had a dream about "this certain person" aneh banget. Whatevs.

Last, seriously last nih. I feel lonely. I could be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone.

Recent Update

2011-02-26T05:00:00.000-08:00

SSSSUP FELLAS?

My last post was a total crap, I know. There's so much that I wanna share with you, unfortunately I haven't had enough time to dedicate to write a read-worthy post. Don't snort. It's been one hell of a week.....nggak deng. This week went on like any other usual week, filled with exhaustions and worries.

Oh ya here are some photos that I would like to share with you. I took these with my friends pas mau foto ketua subsi untuk BT di aula AB, we found a piece of blue textile hanging down the wall, and the word photo booth quickly popped into our heads.

Photo booth crew. Me, Bilgis (the one with the head scarf), Caca (the other girl who's not me nor Bilgis), Ghani (the one with the pervert smile) and Anto (the cutie HUEK)

Lucu kan kaya pacaran? This is me and Anto, si brondong manisku WAKAK gadeng. I think he's scared of me, well I wouldn't question why cos I've been pretty aggressive with him padahal I lack of interest towards the guy. He's cute but definitely far from the type that I would date. It's not like I have any type.......or seeing from how my ex was like, any taste *jahat* kalo sama Anto just for laughs doang, right babe?

I've been watching TV since 11 AM. I love Saturdays cause the day that comes after it is Sunday, which means I don't have anything to worry about. However, I hate Sundays because Monday comes after it and I hate Mondays cos that means I'd have to wait for another 4 days til Saturday. Point is, I hate weekdays. I hate school. GAH MY LIFE IS RUINED.

I'm not being a drama queen but I'm pretty stressed out lately. What from? Not exactly sure. Thing is, I don't have a single problem weighing my back at the current moment, except for the fact I now despise the person whom I was very fond of before, but other than that, everything has been going quite well. Subsi stuffs are okay, at least I don't feel like scowling at anyone cos everyone has been doing such a great job and I am very proud of my partners. Academically, I'm doing quite fine, alright maybe I didn't take notes during sociology cos after 5 exams which of none made any references to my notes, bahkan to my textbooks, I have grew so tired of even paying a slight attention to Double-P cos in the end it won't be worth it. And I'm not holding grudges against anyone at the current moment. So I'm not quite sure what I'm so pissed off about lately, I just feel like a piece of shit for no reason.

Maybe it's the whole jalur undangan frenzy. Oke agak maksa cos I'm still in the 11th grade and I still have at least 6 months til I need to worry about college applications. I told my parents about my desires to apply to NUS, and this was how they responded:

A: Aku mau kuliah di NUS aja

M: Iya, di luar negeri gapapa tapi paling jauh di Singapur aja

P: Nanggung amat, Mir, di ANU aja sekalian.

A: Lah, itu kan di Australia?

M: Iya, Mir, di ANU aja.

Mak labil.

Anyways, my mom told me to find a new sport cos I've been one heck of a couch potato since I stopped playing softball and she became pretty worried that I might turn...........BIG(GER). I guess my mom really got the hikmah of exercising after she joined Celebrity Fitness. She also offered me to take photography lessons and told me she would buy me an SLR if I'm serious at it. I think my mom has finally realized how talentless I am. But I turned the offer down cos I know I don't have any sense of artisticness *that's not even a word*

I told her I wanted to join a guitar course. And play tennis. And learn Mandarin. And she approved all three of them tapi terus gue kepikiran of how I only have 4 months left in the 11th grade and I gotta work my ass off in the 12th grade biar dapet perguruan tinggi pilihan. Terus galau soal tempat bimbel tapi I'm still not sure mau bimbel yang mana karena semuanya jauh dari rumah. Inten Fatmawati is the closest, tapi the thought of having to study at school and somewhere else after makes me wanna puke.

Today's Saturday tapi nggak tenang. Udah beberapa minggu terakhir bahkan di hari Sabtu pun gue nggak bisa merasa tenang, rasanya ada aja yang pops into my head dan akhirnya ngebikin gue stres seharian. Capek. Kayanya gabakal kelar sampe dapet universitas bagus. NYEH.

Terus gue masih mempertanyakan my career options. I mean, I wanna be Menteri Keuangan but newspapers bore me to death and even when I happen to read one, I barely gave a damn about rubrik "Bisnis dan Keuangan" There is one thing yang sebenernya is a long time obsession, I wanna be like Oprah, walaupun kayanya the odds are a kazillion to one. And for this, I have my mom's approval. So now I gotta find a way on how to become the richest woman in television. Errrrr I need Oprah for Idiots. (Please note that I am not this shallow)

By the way American Idol season ini bagus2 ya. My top contenders (alphabetically):

Casey Abrams. Man, he's just goddarn cute. Not the kind of cute that I would wanna marry, this guy looks like Seth Rogen and Seth Rogen looks.......huggable, the kind of guy that you would wanna have as your best friend. However, it wasn't his looks that captivated me, it's his personality. He seemed so relaxed and down-to-earth, not to mention he's pretty funny too. During his last solo audition, he played a bass and sang a jazz song despite the fact that he usually sings.....apa ya lagu yang fun gitu deh. And before he performed the song, he told the judges, "I wanna prove that guys like me could be sexy." AWWWWWW.

Jacob Lusk. When you see this guy perform........pasti rasanya bukan kaya nonton auditions. Watching him on stage itu rasanya exactly like watching a David Foster concert. He sings like a pro-o-o-o-o-o. Kalo American Idol itu all about vocals, he would, without a doubt, win the competition. Even if he doesn't win, some top-notch classy producer would definitely offer him a record deal.

James Durbin. Omar's favorite too. He's a total rocker, has a wide range of vocal *gaya* He's like a straight version of Adam Lambert. Anyways, his father died of an overdose when he was young, he was diagnosed with Asperger's and Tourette's Syndrome, he is currently unemployed and has a fiancee and a son. One heck of a story. American Idol mulai jual cerita nih kaya acara Indonesia, tapi bedanya the contestans are actually talented. Either way, James Durbin has the potential to become the next American Idol cos he definitely has the whole package: Looks, talent, and a tear-jerking story to match.

Lauren Alaina. Man, this girl is only 15 and yet she has an astonishing voice. Country-ish, her voice reminds me of Taylor Swift and I am pretty certain that America would love her. I predict that within the next few years she would become one of AI's top singers and go as far as Carrie Underwood did *cenanyang*

Scotty McCreery. Not my favorite for vocals cos I'm not a huge fan of country music, but I must say suaranya yang super rendah itu is very unique dan keren (I have a thing for suara yang berat2 gimana gitu EWH WKWK) and he's cute, and he's 17, which means he's my age, so he's dateable *asal*

Packsssss

2011-02-19T04:33:00.000-08:00

Just finished my first pack of Instax. But I'm not gonna upload yang di Lombok karena hasilnya kacau, over-exposed......ada beberapa yang dari Instax nya Nahdia sih. Instant photos of my loveliesss *gaul gak*

My dearest Social 2012, satu2nya kelas IPS di angkatan 2012 SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta (secara di sekolah gue emang kelas IPS cuma 1 di tiap angkatan). Tapi ini cuma ceweknya doang, nggak semuanya pula. XI IPS is probably one of the best class yang pernah gue miliki. Orangnya baik2, terus juga di kelas ini santai banget........dan gabut for life. Gue suka sebel sama orang yang cenderung ngerendahin kelas kami, padahal belum tentu juga mereka lebih baik. Pokoknya 20 tahun lagi, gue udah jadi menkeu RI-slash-World Bank Director (amin), reuni nya pas foto cover buat 39 of the Most Influential People in the World nya Time Magazine. (Nahdia's photo btw)

This is my biggest fan. Males juga sih upload foto iblis di blog gue mana orangnya sekarang belagu padahal senam aja kaya bencong makakakak tapi yaudah lah upload aja soalnya gak adil foto yang satu lagi udah diupload juga.

My brother. Gue belom pernah foto Instax sama keluarga gue nih. I don't spend as much time with my family as I used to. School's keeping me busy, mana hampir tiap Sabtu gue sekolah terus Omar melalang buana entah kemana. Sebenernya tiap pulang pergi sekolah juga dijemput emak babe sih, tapi udah jarang jalan ke mal rutin tiap weekend gitu. Screw you school dan adik yang sok.

First photo itu sama Panitia Life's Good. WKWK jadi waktu camp Beavers, angkatan gue yang ikut cuma 4 orang: gue, Nilam, Mare, Aghy, jadi panitianya cuma berempat itu sama Emir dan Kak Hakim. Kenapa namanya Life's Good? Karena waktu itu tempatnya............tempat menikmati hidup banget (eh?)

Second photo, Beavers with alumni. Oh ya terus ada foto Arsya, I just noticed, kan dia ikut camp. May you rest in peace, dude, Beavers mendoakanmu.

Third and fourth photo, waktu Gonz Fest. Itu turnamen kedua yang gue ikutin sama anak 2013, terus kami juara 2 dari.............adadeh WKWK. Oh terus yang satunya lagi foto sama Inah, aduh jadi pengen film Instax yang color......... (Nahdia's photo)

AAAAAAA Beavers itu membuat masa SMA gue lengkap. Orang-orangnya bener-bener macem-macem *pemakaian kata ulang berlebihan* dan berasal dari subsi yang beda juga. Contohnya gue Mesis, terus ada yang OR, Art, Pua, TX, Kemas, dll. Dan yang namanya alumni itu......masih peduli banget sama Beavers, kalo ada acara apa-apa dateng. Terus mereka juga rata-rata kuliah di universitas ternama dan suka ngasih-ngasih tips gitu, misalnya waktu itu Kak Aless dibantuin sama Kak Fuad waktu pertama masuk ITB. Walaupun gue kapten gabut, tapi gue sangat bahagia bisa jadi bagian dari keluarga ini ea ea ea

Last but never least, my superb Media Siswa XXIII. First photo taken tadi, pas pelantikan, walaupun gue gaikut karena telat bangun. Ohya format pelantikan taun ini..........garing, bodo ah gak ngaruh juga ke idup gue. Itu ada segelintir, literally ya secara angkatan gue 89 terus yang ada di foto cuma dikit, Mesis 23 bersama adik-adik Ang. Mesis 23 tercintah.

Second itu foto gue, Aga, Oddy dan Adila. Kan ceritanya trium virate sama kasi. CIEH GAYA. Duh Mesis itu, membuat hidup gue bergejolak. Rasanya kadang pengen gue tamparin satu2 tapi mereka juga membuat gue bangga. Apalagi panitia BT dan Takitri muach muach. Capek sih gue, prioritas kedua gue setelah sekolah sekarang adalah Mesis, sejujurnya gue seneng banget ngerjain proker-proker, tapi capek ya *curhat*

Maaf ya nyampah dikit cuma upload foto doang. Curhat dikit deh, akuntantsi kelas 3 bikin keriting dan gue harus belajar demi lomba. Doain ya biar bisa menang lomba ini. Gue udah lama banget nggak menang lomba apa-apa, mana kemaren lomba debat dibatalin gara2 kekurangan peserta <-- freak dikit. Terus gue masih gak jago pake Wacom hufffffft bete.

You'll Never Know What You Have Until It's Gone

2011-02-12T08:10:00.001-08:00

Gak ada hubungannya sih judul sama posting kali ini.

First of all, I woke up in my uniform. Hungover. Gak deng, gangerti kenapa, I had trouble sleeping in the past couple of weeks so I normally get 5 hours of sleep on a daily basis. So I guess I paid it all off last night by snoozing off at 7 and waking up at 10 the next morning. Then I watched a movie that I've downloaded for quite sometime but had just watched because I had to look for its subtitles.

It's a French movie called Love Me If You Dare (French title: Jeux d'enfants, kl di translate jadi Child's Game) ceritanya about two childhood friends, Sophie and Julien, beware of spoilers. So basically they were friends since they were little, and they had this dare game, whenever one of them challenges the other one for a dare, they'd say "game" and they'd do it, and whenever they're finished with the dare, they get the tin can (that was given by Julien's mother before her death) and the one with it is the one entitled buat nantang for a dare. Anyways, challenges nya ngaco2, like when they were little, Sophie challenged Julien to pull the table cloth on her sister's wedding, making the reception a total mess. Or that one other time when they were teenagers, Julien challenged Sophie to go on a test, doubling her shirt and pants with a pair of underwear.

Sophie fell for Julien but Julien saw the whole thing as a dare. She got mad and decided not to talk to each other, they separated for 4 years, and when they meet up, Julien told her he's engaged. On his wedding day, Sophie gave out a dare for him to say no in the altar, a promise that they have made when they were kids, but Julien got on with the wedding. He closed Sophie's eyes and put her on a railway, moments before a passing train was about to hit her, Sophie quickly realized where she was standing and immediately saved herself. She was outraged and challenged Julien to not contact her for ten years.

They grew apart. Julien had a perfect family, whilst Sophie got married to a pro-footballer. Still, they still felt as if something was missing. On the day where the challenge expires, Sophie sent Julien the tin can. They got on a challenge tapi terus si Julien got into a car accident. Sophie went to the hospital and saw that he was burned real bad, but it turns out that Julien was actually fine. In the end, they reunite under the rain (which was cliche, but definitely classic) and promised to love each other forever. Tapi endingnya is..........kinda twisted. Agak serem juga sih, mereka masuk ke dalam lobang yang kemudian diisi semen. So they practically buried themselves in concrete. Oke masih bingung juga.............serem. Sweet tapi serem.

Tapi the movie was fine, I mean, it's not the kind of movie that gets me thrilled but it was definitely cute *udah bingung mau ngomong apa* all my life I always wished that I have a super gorgeous childhood buddy and one day we'd fall in love with each other and blah blah *muntah* tapi I'm already 17 years old and there's no way that I could be able to find teman masa kecil anymore so be it.

Oh ya, sad news. Adek kelas gue ada yang meninggal. His name is Arsya Pratama, usually called Arsya. He died karena serangan jantung tadi sore, I heard katanya dia pingsan dulu. Kasian banget nggak sih? Gue nggak kenal banget tapi dia anak Beavers dan waktu itu dia ikut camp so I knew him. Terus gue seneng ngebully pacarnya sama Nilam.

Pas denger kaget banget, gila aja kemaren gue liat dia jalan sama Dito mau bayar seri, tau-tau hari ini udah nggak ada. Terus kasian juga sama Pabel, tadi DP BBM nya foto Arsya lagi main gitar terus statusnya "loveyou sya" untung gue (lagi) gapunya pacar jadi gausah waswas ditinggal pacar sekarang wkwk. Kasian Pabel AAAAAAAAAA.

Dan yang bikin gue kesel itu banyak orang yang fitnah2 di Twitter kalo dia meninggal gara2 LDKS padahal LDKS itu udah bulan Agustus taun lalu. Terus yang bikin gue tambah kesel adalah anak-anak 8 (gak semuanya tapi banyak) yang lebay banget marah2 soal fitnah itu. Yaudah lah daripada ngabisin waktu marah2 mending lo doain biar Arsya masuk surga amin.

Gak nyangka banget ya, umur memang gak ada yang tau. Sekarang all we have to do is make the best of the years that we have, cos we'll never know when God is going to put an end to it. And love the ones you have cos they could be gone in a blink of an eye bahkan di waktu yang gapernah lo sangka. Turut berduka cita bagi yang ditinggalkan. Semoga Arsya diterima di sisi Allah SWT. Semoga di surga dia bisa jadi pemain baseball jago.

Huft

2011-02-07T03:48:00.000-08:00

HOLA! Miss me much? Haven't posted in a week or so, maklum, wanita sibuk. Masa gue baru kepikiran kalo business itu could be gabungan dari kata busy-ness, oke gapenting ya. Right, I shall cut all the crap and move on to the main topic of this post: .....................okay turns out I can't figure out what the main topic is, cos there's just so many random things that I would like to ngomongin about. Ih bacot, oke mulai.

1. Super late birthday presents

Yeay, my mom finally bought me a Wacom Bamboo Pen and Touch that I've always wanted for.......a week. Padahal gue nggak jago gambar. But there are times when I mess around with Photoshop (I'm not good with Photoshop either) and I get this "Man, I wish I have a graphic tablet" feeling. My dad once said, "Pas mau beli sesuatu, jangan dilihat sebagai barang konsumsi, tapi sebagai barang investasi." Urgh, maaf pops tapi kayanya ini nggak bisa diinvestasikan sama sekali deh, unless...............if anyone needs to borrow a graphic tablet, you could mention me on Twitter @amirazar or thru BBM (21445***), tablets for rent, charges Rp. 20.000/day.

My parents also bought me a new printer. The old one is.........literally old. Mana rusak, and they don't sell its ink cartridges anymore, imagine betapa bangkotannya my dear HP. Mana udah nggak kuat disuruh ngapa2in, baru ngeprint 2x ngadat, scannernya sering error, and to print one page takes forever. So I begged to buy me a new printer, harusnya bisa dipake satu keluarga, but then my mom told me I could put it in my room, so.........I moved it immediately and now it sits on top of my desk, which means --> it's in my area --> to get into my area you need my permission --> any usage of the printer must be under my consent, so the printer's technically MINE. Oh yeah gue gatau serinya apa tapi for sure it's Canon, and I don't know whether it's because it's new or it's just lame, it makes a really loud noise whenever it's done printing, it pisses me off but I don't care, at least it's functional.

Last but not least, I opened an account di Bank Mandiri. I have a debit account di Niaga tapi it's so friggin hard to nemu ATM Bank Niaga sementara ATM Bank Mandiri menjamur dimana2 like 7Eleven, jadi gue pindah aja deh.

Oh ya ini foto2 hadiah2nya. Maaf ya editannya jelek tapi kalo nggak diedit juga jelek, sbnrnya males juga ngedit jadi langsung masukin aja terima jadi.

2. Caught a really bad case of diarrhea. Padahal kayanya gue nggak makan yang aneh2, but on Saturday morning I got this weird stomachache, I thought it was only because gue nervous mau presentasi Tesis, tapi sakit perut itu lasted till the afternoon. it's not that normal kind of sakit perut yang membelit gitu, it's that sakit perut that makes you feel like your stomach is actually a balloon filled with alat pencernaan alias kembung. KEMBUNG. LIKE IKAN YOU KNOW? Terus nyokap gue ngasih gue obat pas Minggu pagi, tapi malah jadi seharian gue (maaf) mencret2 terus sampe 10 kali bolak balik kamar mandi. Akhirnya gue gamasuk deh hari ini. Sucks banget padahal gue mau liat forum hari ini, padahal gue mau belajar *ketauan boong*

3. Presentasi Tesis. ARGH. Nggak argh sih wkwk secara gue gabut. Gue cuma bikin presentasi dan membuat pembetulan di beberapa halaman saja. Truth is gue nggak satisfied sama hasilnya, tapi kan, again, gue gabut. Kenapa gue gabut? Karena......gue males kalo ngerjain karya ilmiah berkelompok, mana 10 orang lagi, padahal kelompok gue anaknya mayan lah. Terus gue nggak tertarik sama objek penelitiannya. Tapi presentasinya wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, bahkan kelompok gue nggak dicecer, banyak salah juga bersifat teknis. So............alhamdulillah.

4. Gue udah bilang belom sih gue ikut debate team dan minggu depan lomba tapi gue masih gangerti THW apa? Dadah.

Anyways, ini adalah hasil kerjaan pertama gue make Wacom. Iya alay, dan gaul style banget, abis gue masih gangerti gimana cara makenya kalo kena dikit aja langsung belepotan kemana2 .__.

Curhat Lagi

2011-01-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know what's up with me lately. I've been feeling so drowsy, it's probably cos I haven't had enough sleep. I can't go to sleep early, I've stayed awake till at least 1 AM every night this week. It's not insomnia, if I was insomniac I wouldn't be able to sleep during the day. My mom said I think to much, she told me to relax, tapi tetep aja nggak ngaruh, gue tetep baru bisa tidur jam 1 dan harus bangun jam setengah 6, which means, I only get around 5 hours of sleep daily. As tired as I usually get, tetep aja something kept me up all night, kaya sekarang ini, gue susah tidur juga.........padahal capeknya setengah mampus. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep.......

I'm so pissed off with everyone right now. Have you ever felt as if the whole world is against you and you have no one to lean on so you'd have to fight on your own? Truth is it's not that bad, but I feel as if I don't have anyone to rely on anymore. The friends that I trust most, well.........some of them turned out to be suckers, some changed, and others went missing. I know that I can't always be relying on someone, as like it or now, I would have to face the world alone, but at certain times I feel lonely. At certain times, I feel as if in the end, those whom I trusted most, would turn their backs on me, stopped caring, or acted down-right stupid so that they won't get scowled at by others.

And I have this tendency to butt into people's business, and that's something that my mom told me to avoid. And yes, I am trying my best to, but something keeps luring me back into doing so. Truth is I'm tired of arguing, especially if it's about something that I wouldn't have to mess around with, but I hate the fact that even when I was only there to state a point, someone tries to knock me down and in the end I became defensive. Even though I didn't want to be there in the first place. It's human, isn't it?

I hate the fact that sometimes, as much as I hate to admit this, my huge ego always makes me think that I am right all the time when the truth is, I'm not. And I hate that feeling of missing someone, really. I've never missed anyone whole my life, seriously. I never became so attached to anybody to even give a damn about them leaving. But now I have two. I miss my best friend Smit-k, I really dooooo, and she's thousands of miles away from where I am right now, although we chat online at least 3 times a week, having her in person is way better than having to communicate virtually.

School sucks. Sebenernya baru ulangan dikit sih, dan itu juga I skipped my econ test earlier on cos I was late to school. Tapi rasanya gue udah jenuh banget sama sekolah, sampe ke satu titik dimana rasanya gue pengen ngebuldozer sekolah itu bersama para petingginya sampe rata sama tanah wkwk jahat mayan. Gue udah enek dengan segala macem sistem di 8, mulai dari sistem pengajaran, organisasi, sampai peraturan yang kadang unnecessary. Gue enek dengan kepala sekolah yang always held his head up high as if he feels so utterly superior compared to us. Gue capek dengan meja yang bau sepatu. Why does school have to be so.............annoying? I feel so sorry for Maya, amongst all the good schools in Jakarta, she got assigned to a living hell. Not to mention perjalanan pulang yang takes forever. Tapi tetep aja, itu pilihan gue so I'd have to stick with its consequences.

And then earlier on I listened to my friend as she complained about her super-perfect boyfriend. It didn't piss me off, I mean, why would it? But then it left me thinking, getting what you wanted all along, being with the people you love most, well, they certainly don't guarantee happiness.

All I want right now is to be truly happy. And the truth is, I've never been. It's not like I'm not satisfied with what I have right now, because God has blessed me with so much. Tapi rasanya, gue pengen banget belajar ikhlas, biar gak ada beban, that way gue bakal bener-bener merasa senang, ya kan? Tapi kenapa untuk mengikhlaskan sesuatu itu sangat susah?

Nggak nyambung ya? BODO

We Are Tomorrow's Headline Maker, We Are...

2011-01-17T22:48:00.000-08:00

Hula

2011-01-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

(Starting from the top-left, and going clockwise) 1) Front cover of Takitri's 1st Edition from Media Siswa XXIII, it's a picture of 14 ketua subsi, presidents of the students' council and school representative, side by side with my ball-shaped head. 2) Ah tulisannya kecil tapi you could see my name di bagian kontributor, harusnya gue editor (sesuai sanggah kerja di proposal) tapi gue nggak ngedit sama sekali LOL. 3) Slogan Takitri edisi ini "Sekolah adalah rumah kedua, subsi adalah keluarga kedua" yeah even though sometimes anak-anak Mesis minta dibantai banget, but it is undeniable that I'm very proud of each and everyone of them *sheds happy tears* 4) And there they are, di halaman yang mengulas tentang Mesis)

Lectori salutem

There is so much that I really wanna share with you guys, unfortunately I haven't studied for my math test tomorrow (imagine that, we're not even 2 weeks into the 2nd semester and yet my teacher had scheduled a test) so I'm just gonna make this one quick.

I would like to go over my sudden fascination over the Latin language, not Spanish Latin, tapi Latin yang kaya di buku biologi or KN, tapi sekali lagi, gue sangat sibuk jadi sepertinya sekarang bukan waktu yang tepat #bbbbacot.

Anyways, akhirnya gue mulai aktif di English Club. My friends told me to register for the debate competition in Binus International but I've never had any practice and the competition itu for South East Asia and we're gonna have to compete against college students, jadi...............*sighs* kayanya gue mau ikut yang di UI aja ntar.

Whudhhhhh else. Oh ya kaderisasi subsi. Tadi gue nggak ikut pas ada pemilihan, katanya Mesis ada 57 orang dan menurut gue itu adalah jumlah yang cukup ideal dibandingkan jumlah Mesis angkatan gue, ledakan anggota. Terus.........banyak sih yang mau gue ceritain tapi secara di 8 kan semuanya serba rahasia - and I hate that, gaada transparency sama sekali, tapi I have to go by the rules - jadi rasanya gak appropriate kalo gue beberin disini. Intinya, gue berharap taun ini lebih baik, terus menghasilkan kader yang baik juga.

TERUS gue berantem sama guru sosiologi gue. Sucks banget gue benci banget sama guru itu, sensinya ngalahin cewek manapun saat PMS. So here's how it went:

P: Jadi, kalau di Sumatera Barat itu, laki-lakinya biasa pergi merantau, jadi ntar yang ngurusin istri dan keluarganya adalah saudara laki-laki dari istrinya.

A: Loh, Pak, kalau gitu yang ngurusin keluarganya saudara laki-laki istrinya siapa dong?

P: Itu udah kebudayaan sana, jangan diprotes *sambil marah*

KESEL DONG GUE, kayanya sah-sah aja kalo gue melemparkan pertanyaan kaya gitu, kenapa malah kena semprot? Lagian kan pertanyaan gue logis........ Gue lagi di titik puncak kesel banget sama 8. Capek tau nggak? Apakah yang harus kita pelajari itu cuma sebatas yang ada di kurikulum? Emang salah kalau kita mau tau lebih? Kita kan belajar bukan buat sekolah, kita belajar buat hidup, dan hidup itu nggak cuma berputar dari kompetensi dasar yang diberikan sama pemerintah. Duh kalo ngomongin ini bisa panjang. Kan gue dikasih tugas sama guru Bahasa Inggris gue buat bikin website gitu, nah gue, Hiyal, Avia, Chia mau ngebikin tema websitenya tentang betapa sekolah itu membunuh masa remaja kami. Apalagi 8. Tapi gimana dong, udah konsekuensi, dan gue harusnya nggak ngeluh karena itu pilihan gue. Tapi capek. Mau punya pendapat sendiri dicap sok tau, mau berubah dianggap memberontak, gue capek jadi robot terus di 8, maaf ya Allah protes mulu tapi kesel banget nih,

Yaudah stop. Apalagi ya, errrrrr, itu liat foto di atas. Takitri-nya sukses loh, baru 2 jam langsung sold-out *gaya fuck yeah* Alhamdulillah, semoga bisa mengulang kesuksesan itu kembali di edisi mendatang. Gue emang gaikut bikinnya, paling cuma kontribusi 1 artikel karena gue lebih ngurus di teknisnya (walaupun pas ke Bali gabut), terus beneran bikin dag dig dug, beberapa jam sebelum waktu terbit kata orang percetakannya masih finishing. Tapi alhamdulillah (lagi) hasilnya memuaskan, kayak majalah beneran. Aduh terharu, pokoknya salut sama my baby Komang yang udah bekerja mati-matian. Semoga edisi selanjutnya sama bagusnya, terus semoga BT juga bisa sesukses Takitri. Anyways BT juga sekarang kinerjanya cukup memuaskan, jadi gue bisa leha-leha kalo lagi males dan kerja di saat gue pengen *nyebelin*

Oya, tadi gue bolos, mumpung nyokap bokap gue lagi di Medan ada urusan kerjaan. Lagi males banget nih sekolah, niatnya mau belajar matematika tapi seharian malah nonton TV sambil makan kacang. AAAAAAA I hate being unproductive. Pengen ganti header tapi sekali lagi......tak sempat. Oh terus semangat ya buat kakak2 2011 yang sekarang hidupnya bergantung sama SNMPTN #horor semoga 8 2011 semuanya masuk ke universitas tujuan. Speaking of 2011, apakabar ya si cungkring, haven't heard much from him in quite a long time (lebay padahal baru Senin kemaren) Terus tadi freak banget ah katanya ada slideshow foto pas pemilihan subsi terus ada foto yang pas expo -_______- itu kan jelek banget CUH. Ummm, itu dulu deh, gonna go and study math lagi. Enek banget ini melototin angka tapi mau nggak mau harus ditelen. HOAH, see ya lectoris!

There's A Yellow Jacket Hanging in My Wardrobe

2011-01-08T10:39:00.000-08:00

I'm a big girl with even bigger dreams.

Real

2011-01-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

Barusan gue makan biskuit Marie Regal setengah bungkus dan merasa bersalah tapi emang biskuit itu enak dan nggak bikin enek.

Anyways, I got up at 3 PM. Way to go, spent half of the first day of the year sleeping. And it's now 2 AM and I can't shut my eyes and I feel drowsy. I've been having these weird sudden-headaches lately, nggak lately juga sih, it's been a month or so. Nothing massive, but enough to disturb my activities. My mom said it's probably because I have an irregular sleep pattern, but who doesn't during holidays? Everyone's up till dawn and sleeps till the sun is on top of their heads (come to think of it, nggak heads juga sih cos by then they'd still be under the roof) Begonya jam segini belom tidur, otomatis besok bakal bangun siang, kalaupun bangun pagi pasti tidur siang, ujung2nya pasti gabisa tidur sehingga dijamin Senin pagi bakal merem-melek pas upacara.

Duh nggak siap sekolah. Parah banget ah rasanya gue belom mempersiapkan apapun untuk kembali terjun ke medan perang. Rasanya liburan ini bentar banget, apa karena gue kelamaan di luar kota jadi nggak terasa udah hampir 2 minggu aja........this holiday sucked btw, as I said, Bali ujan mulu. Man, Bali hujan itu sama aja kaya ke Keukenhof pas fall.

Udah tanggal 2, besok tanggal 3. Besok tanggal 3. Besok tanggal 3. Masih mencoba to make myself believe kalo besok masuk. School, Y U so pelit libur?

Anyways, Mama Poppie (she's my aunt, idk why I call her Mama) gave me a book for my birthday, which is rather unusual cos she never gave me any reading material for any occasion before. After Orchard by Margareta Astaman. Dari namanya aja udah ketebak kan pasti berhubungan sama Singapore? It's not a novel, it's a book that its author (who happens to be a blogger too) wrote about her experience studying in NTU's School of Communication and living in Singapore for about 4 years. Buku ini telah membuat gue menyadari berapa hal.

1. Singaporeans are robots, that's why everything there berjalan dengan benar. They are robots in a system yang penuh keteraturan, sedangkan Indonesia lebih mirip a jungle filled with fun-loving and undisciplined monkeys (no offense, gue juga Indonesian)
2. Tapi bahkan dengan segala keburukan Singapura yang dijejelin sama penulis ke dalam buku ini, gue malah jadi tambah pengen kuliah disana. Orangnya nggak ramah? Terus napa. Nggak bersosialisasi? Kaya disini gue bersosialisasi. Kompetitif? I like competition, it stresses me out sometimes tapi itulah yang memacu gue buat terus berprestasi (sok padahal suka stres sendiri ntar)
3. Dan satu hal yang bikin gue sangat pengen tinggal di Singapura adalah karena budaya mereka yang cocok sama nilai2 yang dianut keluarga gue.......nyeh, bukan keluarga sih, orang tua kali ya. Setiap kali gue mengeluh ngerasa kesepian, respon nyokap gue, "Ah penting2 amat sih punya temen, hidup kamu juga nggak bergantung sama mereka." Terus mereka nggak neko-neko, they have goals dan fokus, gue pengen bisa belajar buat fokus pada tujuan gue. Mereka juga kerja secara efektif, apapun yang mereka lakukan harus bisa ngasih kontribusi ke pencapaian tujuan mereka. Mereka juga itung2an parah, layaknya orang Padang yang berdagang. Orang tua gue mah gausah ditanya lagi separah apa itung2annya, pelit sih nggak, tapi tiap mau beli apa2 gue harus chip-in buat bayar, kalo makan di restoran harus yang ada diskon. Gue juga sebenernya penuh perhitungan, contoh: gue jarang beli Aqua botol kecuali kalo kepepet karena isi Aqua botol itu lebih sedikit daripada 4 Aqua gelas di combine padahal keduanya punya harga yang sama. Tapi..........gue slebor, jadi itung2an gue suka gak jelas, duit gue bertebaran di seluruh penjuru kamar, kadang bahkan kecuci karena lupa dikeluarin dari kantong.
4. Gue juga bisa menarik kesimpulan dari point 3 kalo hidup gue itu bertolak belakang sama bayangan gue terhadap idealisme. Gue pengen kerja efektif tapi terlalu banyak leha2 dan membuang waktu. Gue itung2an tapi sering mengalami defisit karena nggak teratur dalam mengelola keuangan. Yang paling parah adalah gue selalu ngerasa kalo perubahan itu cuma bisa dilakukan pada occasion tertentu, kaya tahun/tahun ajaran baru. Dan gue tipe orang yang bisa berubah kalo udah punya rencana, dan gue suka kelabakan kalo ngurus rencana sehingga ujung2nya plan gue berantakan dan gue nggak jadi melakukan self-reformation. Ribet kan? Hidup itu simpel, gue aja yang suka lebay sendiri, pusing.
5. Kiasu, it's a Singaporean term for.....intinya sih sifat kompetitif yang terlalu tinggi. Dan itu.....gue banget, udah mendarahdaging dari jaman dulu (ssssssah). Gue suka gatel sendiri ngeliat nilai orang lebih bagus, setiap hal kecil gue bikin jadi kompetisi. Beda 0,1 pun gue bikin heboh. Tapi sifat itu terkubur selama gue di SMP dan pas kelas 10, sialnya pas gue masuk IPS kambuh lagi. Sebenernya nggak sepenuhnya salah gue sih (ngeles) I picked it up from my mother, dan dari dulu nyokap gue selalu encourage gue dan memotivasi kalo gue bisa jadi yang terbaik, tapi kadang2 cambuk semangat, ya tetep aja cambuk, sakit juga lah. Gue sering kali jadi obsessed sama ngedapetin nilai terbaik dan kadang jadi terkesan nggak bersyukur padahal nilai gue udah alhamdulillah, apalagi kalo diliat usaha gue yang mendekati nihil saking malesnya. Bokap gue seringkali bilang, "Yang penting di atas rata2 Mir, gaperlu selalu jadi yang terbaik" tapi emang gue lebih banyak dapet keturunan kepribadian dari nyokap, jadilah gue anak aneh yang gila nilai. Bedanya ya itu, nyokap gue usaha, sementara gue, sekali lagi, adalah seorang pemalas dengan mimpi yang besar.
6. Kayanya sekolah jurnalis seru juga ya. I never had a passion for writing, but I love doing it. I used to love writing stories when I was still in primary school, my friends even praised my work back then (gaya), but I never got the time to write sejak masuk SMP, dan saat gue mau melakukannya lagi, kayanya gue udah ketinggalan jauh sama orang2. Then I started this blog buat tugas TIK, and it's been a hobby ever since. Gue seneng nulis di blog, karena gue tipe orang yang very outspoken and I love to share my thoughts. Tapi jeleknya, gue suka over-curhat di blog, mungkin ini adalah salah satu akibat karena gue sering merasa tidak cukup mendapat perhatian, atau mungkin juga karena gue adalah orang yang haus akan perhatian. Anyways, a few friends have told me that they enjoyed reading my blog, although sometimes buat gue itu membingungkan, kenapa mereka seneng ngebaca me moaning about my life? Tapi mungkin this is my one favorite hobby, kalo bukan karena gengsi takut terkesan bacot, gue bisa nulis 3 post sehari. My mom has encouraged me to pursue writing, cos that's the one thing that I have ever truly loved, tapi gue bingung mau jadi apa ntarnya kalo gue sekolah jurnalistik, mau kerja dimana? Karena walapun I want to explore any option, I have this yearn for stability. Gue bukan petualang, walaupun gue mirip Dora. Gue tipe orang yang senang kepastian, tapi gue pengen juga tetap bisa jadi fleksibel.

Dan posting ini super aneh. Dan gue juga merasa gue aneh karena gue pengen tinggal di negara yang isinya kaya robot. Anyways, point is, abis baca buku itu, satu hal yang bisa gue simpulkan adalah bahwa gue harus meningkatkan efektivitas serta efisiensi setiap aspek dalam hidup gue. Gak boleh lagi buang2 waktu untuk hal yang gak penting. Jangan pernah menunda kerja. Jadi orang yang lebih straight-forward dan jangan poci-poci. Itulah salah satu resolusi gue di tahun 2011 ini. Resolusi lainnya:

1. Sholat 5 waktu, tapi hari ini I slept through Subuh and Dzuhur hehe
2. Belajar yang bener biar masuk 4 besar di kelas, jangan ngulur2 tugas, lebih rajin
3. Mau turun 10kg gimanapun caranya, kalo aja gue bisa anorexia (loh kok) tapi gue nggak makan 3 jam aja perut eke udah keroncongan.
4. Mau tambah cakep, udah cakep tinggal ditingkatin aja huekekek
5. Menghilangkan sifat2 buruk gue yang suka marah2, bisa step-up ke orang2 yang gue anggap salah
6. Errrrr itu tuh haha tapi salah banget dalam sikon seperti ini gue pengen itu (gajelas)
7. Takitri dan BT dua2nya lancar dan sukses

Btw, Takitri edisi 1 dari Media Siswa XXIII is coming out on January 10th, be sure to pick up a copy dijamin gak nyesel, gue liat dummy-nya aja udah mau sujud syukur.

Kkkkkkkkay that's all from me. Maaf kalo posting ini beda dari yang biasa kalian baca, tapi I'm not in the mood for jokes (apasih berasa yang biasanya lucu aja) Au revoir!
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

I Could Be Surrounded By A Lot of People and Still Feel All Alone

2010-12-31T09:32:00.000-08:00

MAN, THIS NEW YEAR'S EVE SUCKS.

I had to get up early in the morning karena udah janjian mau ke percetakan with Adila, Oddy, and Komang. Sadly I overslept, woke up at 9, and took a quick shower whilst my mom kept babbling about how undisciplined I am. Anyways, when I reached my ~~cursed~~ beloved school at 10.30, satu pun dari 3 orang itu belom ada yang dateng. Dan baru pada dateng kira2 jam setengah 12? Itu juga Oddy telat karena harus sholat Jumat dulu. So we took a bus and took the busway ke Senen, harusnya ambil yang arah ke Galur tapi si Oddy bilang deket Atrium jadi kita ambil yang Atrium, dan ternyata salah so we got off the friggin bus, tapi terus dari halte situ nggak ada yang ke Galur jadi kalau mau ke Galur harus muter di Harmoni dan Harmoni itu jauh cuy. Anyways, karena cuma 3 bus stops away, kita naik bajaj, dan mahal banget cuy 20rb ternyata emang kalau mau ke Kalibaru harus muter karena one-way..........SIAL, GODDAMN YOU ODOL.

Terus yaudah nih, sampe di percetakan, tapi lagi jam istirahat dan...........ibunya PDL yang kebetulan adalah pemilik percetakan itu baru selesai istirahat jam 1, tepat saat Oddy sampe. Tau gitu tadi gue sama Adila Komang gausah ngibrit kesana deh. Well, good news is, we got a good deal DAAAAAAN kalo menurut gue Takitri edisi ini off the top banget (berasa Vans gadungan) ntar kalo udah keluar gue kasih liat futunya deh. I learned a lot, and at times like this, even though gue banyak keselnya sama Mesis karena suka nggak jelas, gue bersyukur banget memilih subsi ini karena bisa belajar banyak, mulai dari yang namanya Photoshop sampe percetakan semuanya gue belajar dari Mesis. Abis itu kelaperan jadi kita ciao ke Plaza Atrium (saelah anak gaul Senen) terus makan di McD terus sialnya lagi.........gue dapet ayam nya paha bawah dan ketuker sama Komang (gue kan ambil yang hot doi yang biasa tapi dia gabisa makan pedes dll) dan gue gak suka paha bawah karena kecil (terus napa ini gapenting deh)

Terus dijemput nyokap gue. Pertamanya seneng pas ngeliat iPad-nya udah dipakein case baru, terus udah dikasih screen protector, dan udah dimasukin game. Terus berbahagia sampe nge-drop Omar di Labsky. Terus kesel maksimum pas diseret ke rumah nenek gue jam setengah enam. Katanya ntar jam setengah 10 pulang TAPI.............

Gila nenek gue nggak tidur-tidur padahal biasanya jam 8 udah molor. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandma, tapi...........TAU NGGAK SIH RASANYA CUMA ELO DOANG YANG STUCK DISINI SEMENTARA EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING FUN? Goddamn it, don't you get it, dearest parents? Aside from the fact I'm some anak rumahan, let's face it, gue emang gapunya temen banyak kaya Omar. I mean, I have friends, but I don't have cliques. I don't have that group of friends whom I'm supposed to celebrate new year's eve with, in fact, I don't go out that much. Kayanya selama tahun 2010 aja gue pergi jalan sama temen cuma berapa kali, itu juga paling kalo ada acara Mesis, atau abis latihan Beavers.

I feel kaya some sort of dork who lives in her parents' basement even though she's already 30 years old. Gadeng lebay, tapi seriously, that's what it feels like. Adek gue udah pergi sama temen2nya ke Sultan, yak kawan2, ke Sultan, dan gue yang setiap tahun langganan nemenin nenek gue sampe tidur selama tahun baru. Gue, nyokap, dan bokap gue. Terus kemana om dan tante gue yang lain? Taudeh, gabut, dateng kalo ada perlu doang, durhaka lo semua. Terus kemana sodara sepupu gue? I DON'T KNOWWW, sejak gue kecil juga mereka gapernah dateng.

AAAAAAAA gue kasian sama nenek gue, beneran deh. Tapi kadang gue kesel aja karena gue tahun baru niatnya pengen guling-guling di kasur gue, sementara kalo tadi gue guling di kasur nenek gue, dan ketauan tante gue (yang dengan kejamnya pergi jam 10 malem) gue bisa jadi kambing guling, karena dia bawel banget masalah kebersihan, dan gue kasian juga kasur nenek gue ntar tercemar sama asap knalpot dan bau2 aneh that I picked up from berdempetan inside a bus (kok jijik) Dan nyokap gue bilang katanya tunggu nenek gue tidur dulu baru kita pulang, tapi nenek gue ngotot mau nungguin sampe jam 12 malem.

Tapi gue salut sama nyokap gue. Mau nenek gue udah pikun parah sampe kadang-kadang bikin gemes maksimum, tetep aja nyokap gue nemenin, sementara kakak-kakaknya gajelas kemana. Duh, bisa dibilang, sama aja gue kaya nenek gue, taun baru yang nemenin cuma nyokap gue doang. Dan saat-saat seperti ini gue ngerasa kesepian banget. Cuma ditemenin Twitter doang, bayangin dong, taun baruan sama Twitter. Nggak ada yang sms/bbm tahun baru, adanya cuma broadcast message doang. Meringis ~~ngeliat ada yang ngetweet taun baruan sama pacarnya~~ ngeliat adek gue bbm nyokap, "Ma, aku di Sultan sama banyak", kesel pas tiba-tiba Twitter gue gak connect pas jam 00.00.

Tiap taun gue selalu punya resolusi biar nggak nangis. Tapi belom sedetik aja mata gue udah bengkak. Pas ulang taun kemaren juga. Tau nggak sih rasanya kesepian.......nggak lebay, tapi pengen aja gue punya temen yang bisa gue andalkan, bisa gue ajak seneng2. Ada nggak sih yang peduli sama gue di luar sana *drama-queen* Atau emang temen sejati gue cuma blog ini doang, dan Twitter mungkin? The silent friend who would never respond. Kemana sih semua temen gue................................kenapa cuma lewat doang. Apa kalian cuma sebatas euforia, and go as the moment passes by?

Anyways, happy new year, fellas! Wish you all the best <-- gaul

Yo!

2010-12-30T01:45:00.000-08:00

This picture was taken in Rock Bar. Cupu banget ah tutup gara2 hujan angin HO!

Sok artistik dikit boleh kali.

Dalam rangka pencarian bakat gue belajar menenun kain.

Ini nggak diedit loh keren banget ya airnya gradasi wakak.

Future car: Rolls Royce.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMANDS! Gadeng harusnya demand karena teman Arab kecil laknatku alias @imaau bilang, "Eh Mir nulis di blog lagi dong." yasudah lah, point is, I'M BACK!

1. I turned 17 on the 26th. There's not much difference juga sih. Like, people would say I'm another year older, I would say I'm only a day older than myself on December 25th. Anyways, turning 17 only gave my mom the rights to scowl at me whenever I act childish, and oh, I am now entitled to watch 17+ movies, but that's pretty much it. I'd be getting an ID (which will hopefully allow me to purchase concert tickets that requires one, than again, I'm not into that kinda music) and hopefully a driver's license. I thought turning 17 is supposed to feel, I don't know, different from any other birthday, since it kinda represents when teenagers enter adulthood, ternyata ya biasa aja. I feel old, but not very wise (quoting from An Education)

2. I took a train to Surabaya. It sucked. Whatevs. I only spent 3 days there, we planned to go to Malang but the ticket to Lombok was sold at a good price to we went to Lombok by plane and spent 3 nights there. Lombok was amazing, air lautnya biru, literally blue. And I went to Gili Trawangan, I didn't visit the other 2 Gilis but Gili Trawangan aja udah super amazing, I've been wanting to go there since I saw it on TV a year ago. We stayed at Sheraton Senggigi, which is probably the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in in ages, nggak ages sih, I mean, I stayed at The Royal Plaza a few months ago, but seriously, since my mom left her job in SCB, we don't stay in 5-stars hotel as much as we used to. The room was nice, the view was nice, the breeze........Anyways, we left for Bali after a 4-day stay, and Bali was boring. The traffic jam was insane, and it rained all the time (lebay) one time I went to Rock Bar and it was closed due to bad weather. How are you suppose to enjoy the beach when it's all cloudy? No fun in the sun for me, in fact, it was rather cold there, I had to put my jacket on most of the time. And I'm glad to be back home cos I need to ngurus2 Takitri and BT.

3. SEKARANG GUE LAGI IKUT KUIS AXISGSM PENGEN DAPET BB TORCH TERINSPIRASI KAK CIKA *fired-up* TERUS UDAH SALAH JAWABAN SEBIJI KAMPRET.

4. Taun baruan gatau mau kemana. Yang pasti besok pagi gue akan ke.........percetakan. Karena selama liburan ini gue gabut mayan. Tapi masih gatau mau naik apa. Okay forget about that, balik lagi ke masalah dull new-year. Hampir setiap taun baru gue lewatkan dengan acara barbecue alay bersama orang tua dan nenek gue di rumah nenek gue yang besar tapi sepi itu. 5 out of 8 sepupu gue lagi di Bali with their folks, 3 lainnya gatau kemana tapi mereka udah tua mungkin mereka mau mabok2an bodo amat, terus adek gue.......menggaul sama teman-temannya. It's not like I'd prefer to go out, truth is I'm not exactly sure kira2 gue mau ngapain lagi selain itu, since I don't have any friend yang bisa diajak2 and stuffs, and I would much prefer to stay at home daripada pesta aneh2 gajelas. I'm just so booored with having to go over the same ritual over and over again.

5. I'm not into landscapes. Seriously. I'm not the kind of person yang suka ngeliatin scenery and stuffs. I mean.........why do we have to go to different beaches everyday padahal the view is practically the same, sand and water. Gatau, mungkin gue gapunya that sense of.........apa ya bingung juga katanya apa. I mean, I appreciate nature, tapi I'd much prefer to look at buildings with unique shapes dst dst. Dari kemaren gue liburan di Bali disuruh kesini kesana liat pemandangan pantai padahal gue cuma pengen leha-leha doang diatas kursi sambil sun bathing (padahal udah item kaya areng) sambil nyiprat sana nyiprat sini. Iya oke lah di Gili Trawangan itu airnya biru banget tapi selain itu semuanya sama aja, nyeh.

6. Kok gue gapunya apa2 favorit ya? Gue nggak punya hobi tertentu, kemaren pas disuruh ngisi form Nacel dan ditanyain hobi gue sampe bengong. I don't have a favorite music genre, or band, or movie, or book, or food, or destination, for goodness sake I don't even have a favorite color. Which then again leads me to this --> I don't have a passion for anything. Tapi kata nyokap gue nggak apa-apa lah, I mean, she doesn't have a certain hobby/talent/passion and she turned out okay.

7. I'm trying to convince my mom to buy me an SLR camera for my birthday. I'm not sure buat apa. I just want one. No, I'm not ngikutin tren anak2 remaja norak punya kamera buat gaya-gayaan doang. And no, I don't have any bakat fotografi. I just effin want one, for no reason, even though it'd cost my mom millions (berasa kaya) but hey, it's my 17th birthday, it's not like I asked for a lavish party or for a friggin car, I just want a camera, how simple is that?

8. My English skills are going downhill. Screw public high school.

9. I miss my best friends. I miss Smita, biasa kan kalo kangen temen yang separated thousands of miles away, I'm in Jakarta and she's in Utah, although we chat on MSN everyday, it just doesn't feel the same if I don't have her by my side (apasih kok jijik) I miss hitting her and stuffs, I need someone to abuse before I start abusing drugs #apasih. And, oh, I miss my other best friend. God bless you wherever you are right now.

10. I KINDA MISS SCHOOL! Not the studying. Pengennya ngumpul Mesis aja, atau camp Beavers lagi, tapi males ketemu guru-guru.

11. 2011 Resolutions? I don't want to be a BB junkie like I already am now. I want to succeed in class, BT dan Takitri lancar, kehidupan pribadi lancar, tambah tinggi dan kurus, amin. Dan tambah cakep juga. Double amen.

Terus pengen ngisi ini, oh school I miss you but I hate you:

1. Nama sekolah kamu?

SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta

2. Nama ketua kelas kamu?

Theokripik Kentang Asli

3. Jabatan kamu di kelas?

NJ (Non-jabatan)

4. Guru yang paling killer?

HAHAH gaada alhamdulillah

5. Nama kepsek kamu?

Paman Sam, gadeng Nanang Guna-guna-di

6. Nama wakepsek kamu?

Pak Yanbay, Pak Teguh, Pak Trisno, Pak Ahmad Yani

7. Pernah jadi ketua kelas?

Pernah pas kelas 6 LOL

8. Pelajaran yang paling gak suka?

Semuanya kali #lebay

9. Kegiatan rutin kamu di kelas?

Tidur, ngobrol, nyatet, pikiran melayang kemana-mana

10. Pernah diskors?

Gak lah kan gue anak baik

11. Sering dihukum?

Dibilangin gue anak baik

12. Sering buat PR di sekolah?

Siapa yang jarang?

13. Tempat duduk diatur ga?

NO!!!!

14. Nomor absen kamu?

15. Kamu jurusan IPA/IPS/Bahasa?

IPS! Social is in my blood, in my breath, and in my soul

16. Suka bolos ga?

Jangan ditanya

17. Sering rame?

8/5 (maksudnya 24/7 tapi kan sekolah cuma 8 jam dan 5 hari)

18. Ada ade kelas yang rese?

PANDIT!

19. Kalo kakak kelas?

Hafizh. HAHAHAH gadeng gaada kok sukses PTN ya kakak2

20. Boleh bawa hp ke sekolah?

Ah elah lu idup jaman batu ya?

21. Pernah berantem di sekolah?

Bercandaan doang

22. Pelajaran yang paling kamu suka?

Yang nilainya bagus aja

23. Tempat favorit di sekolah?

XI IPA F HAHAHAH

24. Ada kantin ga?

................................

25. Suka langgar peraturan?

Gak percaya banget sih, dibilang gue anak baik..............

26. Baju suka dikeluarin?

Gue taat aturan #gaya

27. Suka nyontek?

Kalo kepepet

28. Nama panggilan kamu kalo di sekolah?

Amira

29. Pesan buat angkatan di bawah kamu?

Masuk Mesis ya dek

30. Tag?

Emang masih ada yang pake blogger? Kayanya pada pindah Tumblr semua............

Yo-ho!

2010-12-21T08:20:00.000-08:00

Hi hi, posting from Surabaya!

Tadi gue ke Surabaya naik kereta berdua Omar selama 12 jam sampe pantat gue tepos. Terakhir kali gue naik kereta itu pas umur........5 taun kali ya, ke Cirebon sama nenek kakek tante gue. Terus ternyata naik kereta itu nggak seseru yang gue kira. Keretanya sih mayan, tapi heboh banget, pas mau berangkat ada grup ibu-ibu rempong mana mereka di depan bagi2 makanan mulu, terus ada dua anak kecil berisik mulu ketawa2 sumpah kesel banget mending lu berdua imut, udah alay, berisik, minta dipenggal banget sih ah ganggu tidur orang, mana emaknya diem doang #kesel terus tadi gue ketiduran berkali2 dan rasanya gak sampe2, tapi tadi lewat pantai dan gue sama Omar agak kampung dikit karena pas nengok keluar jendela sebelah gue langsung air wkwk. Ironisnya, nyokap bokap gue naik pesawat kan karena emang ada urusan kerjaan, jam 1 gue di bbm "mir aku mau take off" jam 1.40 "mir udah sampe" padahal gue masih in the middle of nowhere. It was fun though, yang penting kan pengalamannya, tapi thank God I have the privilege buat naik pesawat jadi lain kali naik pesawat aja *spoiled kid*

Terus sekarang gue di Surabaya beberapa hari terus mau ke Malang, terus ke Lombok dan Bali. Jadi I will spend my 17th birthday out of town.

Oya btw kemaren gue baru balik dari camp Beavers. Maaf ya pas ngurus pre-camp nya gue gabut tp yang penting pas camp nya dateng jadi panitianya ada......4 orang. Iya, Beavers 2012 yang ikut cuma gue, Aghy, Mare, Nilam. Terus pas berangkat kita disuruh ngawas 13 anak kelas 1 tengil wkwk gadeng. Tempatnya itu di villa-nya Hanif di Mega Mendung, gila tempatnya enak parah, 3 lantai, terus kaya vila2 di luar negeri gitu deh lantainya kayu. Dan terasnya gede banget, terus dari teras bisa ngeliat gunung tapi gatau gunung apa. Biasanya tiap pagi dan malem gue duduk di sana sama panitia lainnya alias cuma berempat dan ngomong "Life's Good" karena emang nyatanya hidup itu indah disana, jauh dari hiruk pikuk kota #gaya

It was fuuuun, I spent most of my time sleeping though, kerjaan gue disana cuma makan tidur makan tidur nonton bola tidur makan. Tapi asik banget sih, ada kakak2 alumni, terus anak2 2013-nya juga baik2. Terus kan ngobrol sama Kak Arif terus dia kan FE Inter, terus dia ngomong "Iya tuh, Mir, ntar pokoknya lo dapet PMDK FE terus lanjut S2 ke London School of Economics" eaaaa emang ngarepnya gitu sih kak.

Alumninya kocak2 banget. Pernah waktu itu gue disuruh Kak Agis menghias presentasi terus jadi gue disana mendengar pembicaraan mereka yang super asal. Jadi kan Kak Aless sama Kak Fuad itu dua2nya kuliah di ITB, Kak Aless FTSL terus Kak Fuad STEI tapi katanya kalo kelas 1 di ITB itu semua pelajarannya sama apa gimana gitu, jadi Kak Fuad minjemin catetannya ke Kak Aless dan catetan itu dipake sama anak2 angkatan Kak Aless terus dibilang sebagai "kitab" terus Kak Arif dan Kak Agis nyuruh Kak Fuad ngebisnisin fotokopian catetan itu, namanya jadi "Kitab Al-Fuad" terus ngomongnya pake aksen Arab. AAAAA parah itu ada lanjutannya, mulai dari "insya Allah best seller" sampe "alhamdulillah best seller" sampe dijual ke jalanan. Pasti pada gangerti, gue juga bingung jelasinnya tapi yang pasti gue ngakak parah, Kak Arif sama Kak Agis literally guling2 di lantai ketawa2 ngomongin itu.

Terus Emir alay, entah kenapa dia ngatain gue galau mulu padahal all I did was sit on the couch, read a novel, and listen to my iPod. Mungkin dia yang galau karena itu vila keluarganya Kamila (Hanif itu sepupunya Kamila) terus ada fotonya Kamila dimana2, kan Emir mantannya Kamila, #nowplaying Like We Used To. Tapi emang agak menggalaukan karena dari 16 peserta camp, ada 3 pasang kekasih. Terus yang paling lucu waktu inagurasi.......

Kak Arif: Tadi Marsya tangannya kena pukul tuh karena dia gerak2 padahal dibilangin jangan gerak (dan ini boong)
Pradit: Nggak apa2 kak, itu salah dia juga
K: HAH? Parah banget, lo sayang gak sih sama Marsya?
P: Sayang kak.
K: Apa? Pelan banget, Marsya-nya gabisa denger. Ngomong yang keras, lo sayang nggak sama Marsya?
P: (teriak) SAYANG!!!!!!!

Unyu moment #1, unyu moment #2 itu Kak Arif sama Kak Agis karena mereka.....ya unyu banget dan dengar2 dulu emang sempet deket tapi gatau lah udah lama, gue belom lahir (gadeng lebay orang mereka angktn 2007 dan 2008) Terus gue dan fellow panitia #foreveralone tapi enjoying a good life disana wkwk. Terus ada lagi pas hari kedua anak2 2010 dateng, ada Kak Vania, Kak Yuan, Kak Serra, Kak Egi, sama Kak Irli. Ah pokoknya Beavers top banget deh gamau gabut lagi.

Pulang-pulang gue langsung ke PIM ketemu Ghina, rapat BT di Heavenly Blush (gaya gak) tapi udah si Ghina beli froyo mahal2 ternyata wifi di Heavenly Blush gak nyala jadi kita disuruh nyolong wifi Kenny Rogers. Maaf bagi panitia BT dan Takitri yang daku tinggalkan, aku masih mendukungmu dari Jawa Timur, kawan!

Anyways, gue baru nyadar kalo gue......polos banget (sok) yaudah bagus kali nggak punya pacar jauh dari perzinahan wkwk.

Udah malem dan capek abis naik kereta setengah hari, see ya later, peeps!
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Hectic. Tranquil.

2010-12-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

SEHARI NGEPOST 2 KALI NIH. Nggak rekor juga sih kayanya gue pernah ngepost 3x sehari. Ah sementara semua orang udah jarang update blogspot, entah karena sibuk atau pindah ke Tumblah. Padahal blog2 orang keeps me entertained.

Yaudah nih aneh banget ya tiba-tiba gue memutuskan buat gajadi ikut Nacel. Kenapa coba bisa gitu? I don't know, it's like semua macem perasaan berkecamuk di hati sanubariku (lebay) gadeng, it's more because of its uncertainty. Uncertainty of getting placed in the grade that I'm supposed to be in, uncertainty of whether or not the National Exams would take part buat masuk PTN. And then I got my report card today, and I realized that I wasn't as stupid as I thought I was. If I put my mind into everything that I do, hopefully I'd be able to earn a spot for PMDK, and that was my main goal from the start, itulah alesan kenapa gue masuk IPS, karena gue pengen PMDK.

Based on my dad observation --> gue sebenernya udah punya goal. Iya gue punya goal gue pengen melanjutkan tradisi keluarga gue buat masuk FEUI, atau FH deh, pokoknya salah satu di antara 2 itu. Dan gue masuk IPS karena emang gue pengen sampe situ lewat jalur PMDK. Anyways, kata bokap gue, gue udah tau mau kemana, tapi gue gapernah fokus jadi jalan gue melenceng kemana2, dan Nacel itu was not part of the plan, and isn't included on my journey to PMDK. Jadi.....ya mungkin bener kali ya. Salah banget gue baru mikir sekarang. Abis ada desas desus UN mau dipake jadi tolak ukur juga bikin gue takut. Mungkin gue gak siap kalo harus jadi 2013.

Intinya, akhir2 ini gue super labil. Rasanya otak gue mau meledak. Gue capek, gue pengen istirahat, gue pengen bersemedi di kawah Gunung Merapi. Gue pengen menyusun kembali otak gue yang berceceran biar gue bisa fokus lagi. Iya, fokus. Kemaren aja pas TOEFL-prep test, pas bagian listeningnya, gue ngeblank berapa saat, and it cost me a lot of answers -____- bener2 susah buat gue untuk fokus akhir2 ini gangerti kenapa. Gue perlu...........waktu buat mengosongkan pikiran gue karena rasanya udah jenuh banget. Gue.........lebay dan labil, lebil, labay. Gue.........pengen muka Gisele Bundchen dan otak Mark Zuckerberg.

Alhamdulillah, Astaghfirullah

2010-12-17T03:11:00.000-08:00

What a day.

I got my report card, buku laknat berisi hasil jerih payah gue selama kelas XI ini, gak deng bukan selama kelas XI tapi selama sumatif. What pisses me off most about 8 is no matter how good your scores were during TF or mid, the score that will be tercantum on your friggin rapor is nilai sumatif lo juga. Kaya misalnya gue TF dan mid Pkn dapet 90 dan 98 tapi sumatif gue jeblok jadi di rapor jauh di bawah 90 huhu.

Daaaaaaan, Jerman gue 71. Sialan padahal baru semester ini Jerman gue nggak ada yang remed gue nggak ngerti kenapa bisa keluar segitu. Cuma itu doang sih yang remed tapi tetep aja nyesek huhuhu. Tapi overall alhamdulillah, nilai rapor gue lumayan memuaskan. Walaupun sosiologinya turun tapi pelajaran lain alhamdulillah naik semua nilainya. Terus gue ranking * di kelas, di angkatan malah secara IPS kan cuma 1 kelas wkwk, tapi itu gajelas kebenarannya karena seorang ******* aja ditaro ranking 1 terus Chia gak masuk 5 besar. Menurut gue itu adalah "The Maya Effect" --> susunan nilai anak2 yang absennya di bawah Maya the German Exchange Student biasanya berantakan.

Terus tadi ngumpulin form Nacel. Akhirnya setelah jumpalitan pake gue disuntik segala buat TB Skin Test, formulir itu terkumpul ke panitia. Tapi..............GUE LUPA NGASIH FOTOKOPI PASPOR DAN PASPOR GUE ITU EXPIRE 6 BULAN LAGI AAAAAAH. Duh gue jadi takut nih, terus tiba2 gue jadi bingung, labil gak? Padahal form udah keisi semua tiba2 gue malah bimbang, lagi mikir mungkin kalo gue gaikut Nacel duitnya bisa dipake buat beli DSLR, emang sih gue gangerti fotografi tapi pengen belajaaaaaar kayanya seru (loh) terus juga gue suka minder kalo foto pake pocket camera (ganyambung) Pake ini batere laptop harganya 1,2juta lagi AH kalo aja gue boker duit gampang lah. Terus juga........gue pengen PMDK, tapi gatau nih bingung, tapi beneran pengen banget (berasa bisa beneran dapet) AAAAAAAA BIMBUNKKKK.

Ya Tuhan, super labil 2010 nih. Sebenernya lebih baik labil sekarang daripada gue labil ntar terus nyokap gue udah bayar. DUH GIMANA DONG HAHAH padahal kemaren udah yakin pengen ngerasain sekolah di Amerika, tapi gue gak siap kalo worst case scenario harus seangkatan sama Omar, ntar gue tambah di-bully sama Dito dan Yura........Ya Allah gimana ini *makan biskuit*

POOSEENK

2010-12-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

Current mood: ?????????

1. Panik. Karena form Nacel harus dikumpulin besok dan gue...belom selesai. Ngisinya belom selesai, tes TOEFL belom, tes kesehatan masih ada yang kurang, mana gue baru pernah imunisasi buat hepatitis sekali. Mana belom foto pula. Fugch kacau banget.

2. Broke. Batere laptop gue bocor, terus taugak batere baru harganya 1,2juta?!?!?! Terus tombol end gue gak berfungsi dan tombol ctrl gue ilang dan sekarang gue bingung mau ganti keyboard sekalian gak, tapi itu ntar keluar 300rb lagi dan kayanya dari dulu gue nunggu hujan duit gak turun2.

3. Ngantuk. Gangerti kenapa gue susah banget tidur cepet akhir-akhir ini padahal biasanya kena kasur langsung molor. Malem2 mikir dulu, pagi2 sebelom bener2 bangun ngelamun dulu sambil guling2 di kasur.

4. Excited! Insya Allah ntar jadi ke Bali wakak. Jadi rencananya gue mau naik kereta ke Surabaya, terus ntar ke Malang, terus ke Bali, terus ke Lombok, doain aja deh moga2 jadi, abis otak gue udah butek banget banyak kerjaan, kebanyakan belajar, hhhhh. Oh terus juga ini sound di laptop gue bener, gak kresek2 lagi seneng banget denger lagu dari sini LOL.

5. Ngos-ngosan. Dikejar deadline. Dummy Takitri harus udah jadi lusa karena Pak Pembina mau ke negeri para waria. Terus BT juga masih banyak yang harus dikejain wakak. Semangat! Semangat M-XXIII! *semangat terjun dari teras*

6. Bingung. Saking banyaknya kerjaan udah bingung mau ngapain. Sumpah deh beneran ini idup gue rebek banget sekarang (sok) duh *gaya yel caang mesis*

7. ON FIRE!!! Oke sumpah ini super tolol tapi gue ngebaca artikel di Jakarta Globe tentang "Too Much Studying Is Not Good For Indonesian Children" terus gue kesel banget sama komen staff Departemen Pendidikan --> "We shouldn't spoil our children, otherwise they won't be able to compete and survive in the future" TAPI APA YANG GUE RASAIN SEKARANG LEBIH KAYAK TORTURE DI SEKOLAH, studying my ass off, AAAA I'M STILL A KID, I WANNA HAVE FUN! Terus this one other comment yang intinya belajar kaya kerja rodi itu untuk mempersiapkan kita untuk mengejar ketinggalan dari negara maju, padahal kenyataannya juga dengan belajar sampe mabok gini negara kita masih terpuruk. Ada yang salah dengan sistem

pendidikan Indonesia, tapi ngerubahnya juga nggak gampang, apalagi jumlah penduduk kita banyak dan bakal dibutuhin biaya yang besar. Tapi yaudah sih kata bokap gue "kalo gamau maju, ada 1000 alesan, tapi kalo mau maju, ada 1000 cara" dan gue yakin Indonesia bisa berubah kok, tapi ya emang itu, cikal bakal dari pemimpin masa depan kan anak2 jaman sekarang, jadi mungkin emang kita harus mengadakan reformasi di bidang pendidikan dulu, jangan selalu berputar di lingkaran setan ini. Kenapa gue jadi ngoceh tentang ini?

8. Kangen. "Ntar kalo ol juga gue bakal nyapa lo." And I saw you went online, waited, and then you went offline. Ahahaha kesannya gue desperate banget ya? Udah nggak rutin wkwk.

Final conclusion: Go figure, gue udah bingung sama idup gue (sok idupnya ribet)

2010-12-11T08:36:00.001-08:00

"Lo kenapa bete terus sih hari ini?" "Karena bingung mau kasih hadiah apa." "Freak banget bete gara2 itu." "Ya nggak lah"

Dan sekarang, boro2 mikirin hadiah, paling ulang taun gue juga dilupakan (jahat) oke dua minggu lagi gue ulang taun ke 17. Tapi gue......nggak siap (loh) padahal sebenernya gaada bedanya sih, cuma simbolis doang, dapet KTP, boleh dapet SIM. Tapi.......

Gue ngerasa belom dewasa. In many ways. Gue masih belom punya tanggung jawab. Gue masih nggak bisa ngontrol emosi gue. Apalagi mood gue lagi pissy gini.

So much for sweet sixteen. I'm gonna be 17 in 2 weeks, and so far, being 16 ain't as great as people said it would. Broken hearted (gaya), broke (karena beli batere laptop baru harganya selangit), yowess lah. Moga2 ntar umur 17 berbeda.

Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Aieuo

2010-12-08T04:42:00.000-08:00

I deleted the post I made earlier. Maybe he was right, I always confront people through cyberspace. And when I have to meet them eye-to-eye in real life, or.......talk to them through text messages, I got so tongue-tied that I stutter, words came out abruptly out of my mouth, and my sentences don't make sense at all.

Anyways, there are some parts that I would like to bring back from yesterday's post in this one. Thank you, and sorry. Wish you all the best, HAVE A BLAST!

Random Questions

2010-12-05T00:57:00.000-08:00

Gara-gara baca posting lama dari blog seseorang, gue jadi pengen ngisi2 random questions. Here goes.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to People
10. "I survived SMA Negeri 8 Jakarta, with good marks!"
9. "First day in Harvard College, so excited!"
8. "I made the world a better place."
7. "Alright, make sure to tune in to The Amira Show tomorrow night, cos my ultimate idol, Oprah Winfrey, is stopping by the studio tomorrow! Thanks for watching, and have a great night, America!
6. "Hey babe, I'm gonna take the subway home, okay? I'll be in the apartment in an hour."
5. "See, I told you I was gonna be a huge success!"
4. "On the Eurail train, on my way to Paris!"
3. "Hah, eat shit, suckers!"
2. "It all came true, down to the smallest details."
1. "I love you too."

Nine things about myself
9. I'm a perfectionist, if things don't go exactly how I wanted them to, well, you better watch out.
8. I'm really sensitive, and..........I'm a hopeless romantic, chick flicks give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
7. Beneath my seemingly-over confidence, I have a very low self-esteem.
6. People think I'm stupid, news-flash, I'm not.
5. I know that I could do better than this, I. Just haven't gave my best effort.
4. I feel like an outcast. I tend to feel lonely often.
3. I wanna be a witch, like the ones in Harry Potter. And I really mean it, I'm still quite hopeful that one day I'd receive an acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
2. I worry too much.
1. When I say I want something, I want it now. I can't wait.

Eight ways to win my heart
8. Cook and look like Lee on Masterchef US
7. Be super smart, outgoing, and filthy rich
6. Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not (malah nyanyi)
5. Make me feel good when it hurts so bad (lanjut)
4. Make me gush about you, you don't have to throw around romantic bullshits, I just want you to tell me something......nice and sweet (??????)
3. Be unpredictable, plan out little surprises, I love surprises
2. MAKE ME LAUGH! (a definite must)
1. Be my best friend

Seven things that cross my mind a lot
7. Life
6. My scores
5. Nacel
4. FOOD and lots of em
3. You (crap) not you in particular, like whenever I like someone, that person crosses my mind often
2. Fantasies
1. Me! I could be quite self-centered sometimes.

Six things I do before I fall asleep
6. Refresh my Twitter timeline
5. Stack up two pillows beneath my head
4. Hug my bolster and make sure ny blanket covers up my whole body.
3. Daydream (or should I call it nightdream, LOL)
2. Worry about the stuffs I haven't done but anot going to do anything about them because I'm so fucking tired
1. Oh yeah, do my prayers

Five places I want to visit
5. NEW YORK CITY!
4. Home, when I feel so tired and just feel like crashing into my bed right awayw
3. Western and Northern Europe
2. Anywhere as long as it's snowing
1. Depends on my mood, right now I wanna be in Bali, desperately craving for a relaxing holiday

Four things I'm wearing right now
4. An Ouval Research shirt
3. Folker boxers, they're the best
2. Ummm, panties?
1. A bra, lol I can't think of anythinf else

Three bands that I listen to often (Currently)
3. Maroon 5
2. Chicago
1. Maliq and D'Essentials
(super random cos I don't listen to music that often)

Two things I want to do before I die
2. Have a successful career
1. Get married to the person I love (whoever that'll be, hopefully he'll look like James McAvoy) and live an ideal live with him

One confession
1. Kenapa bagian ini yang sedikit? I planned out my life to the smallest details, and I'm secretly scared that I won't be able to fulfill them.

Act of Random Kindness

2010-12-03T08:46:00.001-08:00

Today's the third day of the month! That's not the highlight of my day though lol. Anyways, I had my final exams this week, although I skipped a day cos I caught a really bad cold. Udah seminggu ini bangun sampe tengah malem buat ~~main komputer~~ belajar dan hari ini lega abis selesai matematika langsung ciao ke Gandaria City sama Chia terus nonton Harry Potter. Aduh udah mau selesai aja ya Harry Potter, I practically grew up with the series, walaupun gue bukan fanatik tapi tetep aja rasanya ada yang hilang kalau sampe Harpot tamat.

Yet, bukan itu yang mau gue bicarain sekarang *serius*

A very random thing occurred earlier tonight. I just finished nonton sama Chia, initial plan nya adalah untuk pulang naik busway entar dijemput nyokap di Terminal Lebak Bulus. Tapi ternyata halte busway-nya itu jauh banget dari Gandaria City, akhirnya gue dianterin Chia ke depan Labsky. Pas sampe depan Labsky, Tante Nanik nitipin gue ke seorang satpam disana, padahal 3 taun gue sekolah disitu masih gak inget namanya siapa wakak. Tadinya gue mikir mau nyari taksi aja, dan si pak satpam baik banget nemenin gue di depan nungguin taksi. Akhirnya ngobrol tentang sekolah, terus gue ditanya, "Gimana di SMA 8?" langsung lah respon gue --> "Beda banget sama disini!!!!!!!!!!!!" Udah nunggu setengah jam, tetep aja nggak ada taksi yang lewat. Tiba-tiba ada Pak Eko, pramubakti SMP, baru keluar dari sekolah bawa motornya. Terus dia nanya ke gue, "Emang kamu tinggal dimana? Oh Lebak Bulus, yaudah ayo sekalian dianter." Dan gue actually nebeng Pak Eko dengan motornya sampe Terminal Lebak Bulus. Padahal gue yakin banget dia udah lupa gue yang mana.

The one thing that I miss most about Labschool is.......I can't only mention one cos there's probably a kazillion different reasons why I miss Labschool. My life in Labschool wasn't perfect, but the school itself is. Dan gue sering banget kena sindrom kangen Labschool dan biasanya kalo udah mulai kaya gini sama Oddoll. Oke oot. Kalau nggak ditahan-tahan ntar curhatnya kepanjangan, sebenernya tadi gue udah nulis curahan hati sampe 5 paragraf tapi kalo di-post kurang senonoh (loh)

Intinya, it's nice to know bahwa di luar sana, sebenernya ada orang yang baik, yang mau membantu orang yang kesulitan walaupun aslinya juga nggak kenal-kenal banget. Yang mau membantu orang tanpa pamrih. Sayangnya sekarang gue udah jarang menemukan orang kaya gitu. Gue gangerti kenapa tapi kayanya sekarang nilai moral udah mulai pudar (sok) perbuatan baik malah dianggap sok suci, perbuatan buruk dianggap keren. Ada apa dengan dunia?

Oh iya, terus.........

Hafizh says: mir banyak yang harus diakui, lo pilih yang mana A B C D atau semua benar

amirazaranadia says: Semua benar yaudah kasih tau semuanya

Hafizh says: he eh aneh ya gue suka sama elo (merinding)

Maaf ya fizh di post tapi lagi pengen cuma dikit kok lol. Anyways I don't wanna sound unyu and stuffs tapi kalo baca ini gue masih sering ngakak pol.

Akhirnya berhasil juga foto pake Instax. Okay this is the first time I ever posted a picture of this hideous looking demon in my blog, plis jangan sampe pada kapok buka blog gue setelah liat foto makhluk yang di sebelah kiri itu wkwk. Oke sekarang tanggal 3 kan hahah udah Desember aja ya, nggak kerasa udah.....1 cawu, sepertiga taun (bleh) walaupun sebenernya juga sampe sekarang masih gitu-gitu aja LOL.

You're the worst boyfriend in the world, cung.

But it doesn't matter cos you're an all-in-one package, a best friend, my very-own personal clown, a wise-ass, tempat nyampah pas kesel, sasaran empuk to tease, cheerleader dadakan kalo mau belajar, iblis yang selalu nyuruh sholat (loh) banyak lah wkwk. Oke jijik gamau jadi cheesy jadi stop aja ya disini? Intinya (yah katanya mau berhenti tapi gabisa) you may not know it but I do care about you, I know this sounds like crap, but it's true. I don't know whether or not you even give a damn about me, but I just want you to know that I do. OKE STOP STOP STOP.

Dan barusan nyokap gue ketawa-ketawa sambil nanya, "Mir, pacar kamu yang mana sih? Mama penasaran orangnya kaya apa. Kok Mama gapernah liat? Kamu pacaran nggak sih sebenernya? Kok kuno banget deh dulu pacar Mama pas SMA biasanya sering ngapel deh ke rumah" Oke keterusan. Duh masalahnya gue gamau ngecewain nyokap gue jadi mending nyokap gausah tau wakak just kidding.

Udah ah ngantuk. Hasta la vista!

EMOWHHH

2010-12-01T17:01:00.001-08:00

The thing that sucks most is not being neglected.
Come on, I'll survive, it's not like I'm vying for warmth, or care, or attention, I went through all my life without it, and it's something that I can't expect from you.
The thing that bothers me most is that feeling
When you feel that you could never make the one that makes you happy, equally happy.

Jijik ah brb belajar pkn deh.
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Curhat Mulu

2010-11-21T06:08:00.000-08:00

I tried to imitate Spinner 360 karena gapunya duit to actually buy one. Epic fail, I know. Tapi at least I tried. The camera is just too
damn pricey for my finances right now.

Nih ya, kemaren itu gue udah ngebikin posting tentang bagaimana gue nggak punya bakat apa-apa, tapi gue mengurungkan niat buat mem-publish nya cause it'll make me seem terlalu banyak protes dan mengeluh. And so it turns out, tiba-tiba gue mendapat pencerahan.

I have this kakak kelas. Dia juga anggota dari subsi yang sama kaya gue, dan sekarang dia udah kuliah di FSRD ITB. Hasil fotonya bagus banget, he likes taking pictures of his friends (ceritanya jadi model gitu mereka) and posts them in his blog. Aduh pokoknya fotonya dewa banget deh. Terus gue ngobrol kan sama Oddy.

A: Kak itu fotonya bagus banget deh!
O: IYA! Eh, waktu pas kader kan gue wawancarain dia

A: Oh ya?

O: Terus ternyata dia divisi komik

A: *kaget* LOH? DIA KAN JAGO BANGET FOTONYA!

O: Iya, tapi katanya dia pertama kali megang kamera itu setelah ikut mesis. Dan ternyata hasilnya bagus, gitu deh

BAYANGIN DONG? I thought everyone knew they're talent ever since they got out from their mother's uterus. Turns out gak selamanya kaya gitu.

I always thought that I have no special talents. I have friends who excel at one particular subject. And then I realize, I don't excel in anything in particular, I have exceptional ability in pretty much everything I do. I'm not bad, I'm not good either. I'm somewhere in the middle, slightly more than average, but in the scale of 1 to 10, kayanya kemampuan gue di setiap subjek itu ranks on a 6.

And you wanna know why? I always felt overshadowed by my friends. Some friends are extremely creative, few are extremely brainy, while some others are extremely athletic. I always thought that, to be good, you have to be the best. But then again, selalu ada langit di atas langit, and you don't necessarily have to be the best (although you must aim buat jadi yang terbaik) being above average is already fine enough, at least that's what my dad said. You work hard to be good, being the best is a bonus, it's a result to all the hard work you've put into doing something. Jangan pernah minder, itu lah intinya.

And most importantly, you have to love what you're doing. Everything I did all along kayanya gak ikhlas semua, softball setengah2 belajar setengah2. All my life I have thought that I was destined to do something big, secara implisit, I know my mom wants me to succeed professionally, she wants me to graduate from FEUI atau universitas lainnya di luar negeri yang masuk ranking 100 besar THE-QS (amin) and fulfill the goals that she had for herself, the ones that she didn't accomplish because she was too busy having fun. Every parent wants the best for their children, dan gue rasa nyokap gue gamau gue ngulang kesalahan yang sama, I don't think my mom's a failure, because to think so is just wrong, how could you call an Indonesian woman yang menjabat di posisi di sebuah foreign bank yang harusnya diduduki oleh ekspatriat a failure. She had her victory, but she could've done better, we both know that she could. And my mom believes in me, she believes that I do have the potential to succeed like she did, she expected me to reach a higher level of success than her.

But maybe that isn't something that I wanted. Maybe I wanted something else in life. I don't know, I could never tell, I'm still pretty labile. I was convinced that I knew my goals, turns out they're paths that my mom set up for me all along. I wouldn't say she's a dictator, she lets me choose my own career options, although sometimes she seems reluctant. I want to make my mom proud, I still want to get that degree from FEUI or FASS NUS in economics, and I want to get it karena nyatanya emang gue pengen belajar ekonomi (walaupun terpengaruh sama nyokap juga) tapi selepas itu, gue masih bingung. At one point, gue pengen kerja di kementrian keuangan, tau-tau pengen jadi koresponden CNN, tiba-tiba pengen jadi jurnalis, tapi masih berhubungan sama ekonomi. Tapi baca koran aja gue bosennya setengah mampus.

Ada sih satu hal yang sebenernya gue sukain dari dulu. Tapi pasti kedengerannya lucu. I like fashion photography. Gue nggak kreatif, gue nggak punya banyak ide, gue bahkan nggak punya a sense of fashion, tapi even though secara eksterior gue kaya Rambo, aslinya I always like seeing people dress up, having they're make up on, and take pretty pictures, I also like photo-editing although I'm not really good at it. Maybe I should pursue this hobby, tapi gue nggak ngerasa cukup kreatif (mulai deh minder lagi) but this is the one thing that never fails to fascinate me. Mungkin gue bisa kerja di kementrian keuangan by weekdays and do photoshoots on weekends? I don't know, after all, life is full of surprises. Make your plans, but let things fall into place. God knows best.

Bolos

2010-11-17T16:46:00.000-08:00

Kalo dapet dan jadi berangkat Nacel, pengennya dapet di Chi-town.

YEAY SKIPPING SCHOOL TODAY. Skenarionya adalah hari ini Omar had a massive stomachache and then he wouldn't get out of the car, which in the end menyebabkan gue terjebak macet depan fx jam 6.20. Karena ceritanya gue telat nih, jadi hari ini sama nyokap disuruh pulang. Aaaaa gue sih happy-happy aja karena tadi malem gak belajar ekonomi maupun bahasa. Untung udah punya rencana. Terimakasih kerjasamanya, brader.

Sebenernya niatan gue hari ini adalah belajar di rumah. Niat doang. Oh ya gue udah ketauan beli Instax sama nyokap, terus kirain bakal dimarahin, responnya cuma, "Mana sini kameranya, mau dong foto." Terus bokap gue, yang biasanya kesenggol dikit aja marahnya udah kayak kesurupan, cuma nanya, "Belinya berapa? Biasanya beli Instax dimana sih?" Aneh juga, gue kira bakal dikeroyokin terus Instax-nya diambil terus dikunci dalem kamar berbulan-bulan dan gak dikasih makan.........tapi gak akan ngaruh karena gue punya cookies, coklat, dan Wonka Gobstoppers di atas meja TV, jikalau stok makanan habis, lemari pun masih bisa dikunyah kalau kepepet. Terus tadi gue pulang ke rumah juga gak dimarahin, malah jadi ngomongin SNMPTN.

Speaking of SNMPTN, kan gue mau ikut Nacel dan satu-satunya cara buat masuk UI tanpa harus ngulang kelas 3 disini adalah ikut SNMPTN. Pertamanya gue panik. Terus tiba-tiba temen gue bilang kalau ikut Nacel aturannya taun ini harus ngulang. Tapi nyokap gue bilang ntar mau nanya lagi pas interview, uh gue interview besok jadi bolos lagi, asik. Nah terus gue nanya Kak Ail, kan pacarnya ikut Nacel tuh, katanya disana ada ujian setara UN jadi disini dia cuma tinggal ikut SNMPTN. Terus gue baru inget pacarnya itu yang marahin gue pas pelatgab kiwkiw. Oke yang ini gapenting. Terus gosipnya, kuota SNMPTN 2011 itu naik dari tahun sebelumnya, dari 14% jadi 60%, drastis banget kan. Takut gak keterima sih, kan saingannya banyak. Cuma pede ajadeh. Lihat hasil wawancara besok. Soalnya gue emang pengen banget ikut Nacel, apalagi ngeliat status FB Kak Armedi. Taun depan gue bakal ngetweet --> White christmas at Times Square (gaya) taun depannya ngetweet --> Yeay, lulus SNMPTN FEUI/masuk FASS NUS/(even better) got accepted to Harvard College. Terus sepertinya hukum menarik juga. Lagi nonton Shark, terus mikir, keren juga ya jadi lawyer gitu. Tapi lawyer yang baik, atau yang tipe Hilary Clinton gitu loh. Ntar kerja di law firm di US wuhuwww kerennya. Tapi akhirnya gue menyadari bahwa sepertinya nyokap gue pengennya gue masuk ekonomi, pas gue bilang mau masuk hukum, responnya adalah --> "Ekonomi seru kok" AAADUH labil, gapapa deh mending labil ke hukum daripada ke kedokteran. Kasian nih Omar, di keluarga besar gue gak ada yang jadi dokter, secara di keluarga besar gue cuma tinggal gue sama Omar doang yang masih belom kuliah, dan gue udah terlanjur masuk IPS, tante gue sering meneror Omar buat masuk kedokteran.

What else? Oya terus gue lagi kesel banget sama seseorang. Siapa orangnya gue gamau ngasih tau, tapi dia ngeselin banget. Gue gangerti kenapa sih ada orang yang gila jabatan? Nih ya jujur aja pasti semua orang itu mengincar suatu jabatan dll dll, tapi ada batesannya juga dong. Kan jadi ketauan banget kalo lo nggak compatible for the job, karena yang lo incer cuma sekedar title doang. Mana kacamata gue belom dibalikin lagi (lah ganyambung) Terus gue juga lagi kesel sama seseorang padahal udah cerita lama, mana dia kerjaannya nyumpahin orang. Udah dong kalo situ nyumpahin temen-temen saya, situ juga yang ntar kena apesnya, mampus. Terus setiap kali temen-temen gue ngomongin dia, yang keluar dari mulut gue cuma, "AHAHAHA BIARIN AJA, dia kan sibuk ******** ***** *****" tapi ternyata yang gue sensor itu kayanya emang hobinya karena emang udah nelen banyak korban huekekekek.

Terus kasian ngeliat sapi dipotong. Padahal tiap hari makan sapi terus biasa aja. Tapi kalo ngeliat mereka sakaratul maut sedih juga ya. Holy cow!

Dengarkan Curhatku

2010-11-14T04:45:00.000-08:00

Ini foto pake Lensbaby bagus banget deh. Tapi bukan itu main subjectnya. Cuma gue taro aja gambar biar posting gue gak pure isinya curhat nyampah doang.

Sebenernya hari ini gue gak ada PR. Tapi minggu depan TF ada 4. Gak 4 juga sih, sebenernya masih gatau ada berapa. KN, ekonomi masih gapapa lah, pelajarannya masih bisa dimengerti dan dihafalkan, tapi malu juga kalo dapet jelek duh. Terus ada gosipnya ada sejarah dan kalau sampe beneran ada gue mau guling di tanah aja karena materinya segentong. Terus ada Bahasa Indonesia, mana Kamis kemaren gue cabut lagi gara-gara bosen. Dan gue sangat tidak menguasai Bahasa Indonesia, tololnya kemaren pas gue cabut ngebahas kisi-kisi buat ulangan. DUH.

Terus kan gue mau ikut Nacel nih...........tapi persyaratannya kalo gue mau kuliah disana harus bisa dapet universitas yang bagus (dan menurut nyokap gue yang bagus itu adalah universitas Ivy League, laugh all you like, tapi ini bikin panik maksimum) terus kalo mau Ivy League kan SUSAH, ditambah lagi gue harus prep SAT dulu disini tapi udah gak ada waktu luang, dan kalau balik kesini harus keterima di UI. Sebenernya gue pengen banget Nacel tapi kalo harus keterima di UI........nyokap bilang harus ngejar pelajaran kelas 3 dari sekarang, biar ntar pas balik bisa lolos SNMPTN terus tau kan yang ikut SNMPTN itu setengah populasi dunia (lebay tapi emang banyak banget)

Ditambah lagi sekarang kan gue jadi waka waka e e. Terus dapetnya yang ngebawahin proker, mana prokernya bikin jumpalitan semua. Terus *sensor ah gaboleh diceritain* sebenernya gak ribet-ribet banget sih, tapi guenya aja suka lebay, ditambah lagi gue sangat egois dan perfeksionis, there I said it. GITU DEH AND NOW I'M WORRIED FOR MY OWN SAKE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!! Sekarang gue udah ngurangin softball sih, dateng latihan klub aja terakhir kali itu 2 atau 3 bulan yang lalu. Untung gue nggak jago, jadi buat ngelepasinnya lebih gampang. Terus next tournament itu Bulcup, dan Bulcup itu pas liburan jadi santai saja.

Terus udah mau sumatif ya. Sebenernya 2 minggu lagi sih tapi gue udah panik dari sekarang. Kan gue ngejar PMDK nih, jadi harus masuk 5 besar di kelas, dan itu bener-bener jadi beban. Abis kalau nggak pergi Nacel, gue harus PMDK, HARUS, di-bold deh biar tambah tegas HARUS PMDK FEUI atau masuk NUS hehe. Tapi nyokap gue menekankan yang penting UI dulu harus dapet, dan jadi beban juga karena nyokap bokap gue dua-duanya FEUI. Sebenernya aja gue ngerasa pengen FEUI karena terpengaruh orangtua gue, walaupun mereka gak maksa. Terus gue takut banget gak dapet UI, sebenernya ada rasa takut juga karena gue anak IPS. Takut tergeser sama anak-anak IPA, UGH SCREW IPC.

Sekarang bukannya belajar, gue malah curhat. Gapapa sih curhat is good, kata Bu Pur kalau ada masalah jangan dipendam, ceritain aja. Kalau gue curhat sama Bu Pur gimana? Kan dia wali kelas gue, tapi dia serem. Mana di 8 guru BK-nya kurang efektif lagi. Apa curhat sama Pak Pri aja? Loh kok jadi ngaco sih. Abis kalau mau curhat sama temen gaada yang ngerti, mau curhat sama nyokap ujung2nya dimarahin, mau curhat sama si makhluk aneh yang satu itu........aduh boro2 deh mau ketemu aja susah banget dia lebih sibuk daripada presiden.

Mana tadi niatnya mau belajar tapi ngantuk parah. Malah jadi ketiduran. Udah jam 8 ya? DADAH!

ASAL

2010-11-12T19:28:00.001-08:00

Good morning, fellas! Haven't posted in quite a while. Gadeng baru juga seminggu.

Anyways, I bought an Instax without telling my mom, and it practically drained my bank account, but it was wortheddd, haven't used it much though, cos I'm the kind of person yang bener2 hemat kalo masalah gitu2an so....... Well I've taken a few shots though the first one is with my gurlzzz, then sama geng dua jam untuk selamanya, terus bareng Omar (tapi belom gue scan) and the fourth one..........MASA OMAR FOTO NARSIS AIB GITU SIH PAKE KAMERA GUE kan isinya mahal, terus sekarang gue lupa fotonya ada dimance huuuu.

Terus this marks 1st weeklyversary Media Siswa XXIII (apasih lebay kaya remaja labil) belom apa-apa sekarang gue udah dikejar-kejar buat bikin timeline, Ghina udah diteror sama percetakan, dan gue udah enek denger kata artistik , layout, data, artikel HUAHDHADOSIDSA padahal baru seminggu FAK MAY LAYF GAAAAAH. Tapi bersyukur banget punya pembina kaya Pak Pri, kalo ngobrol sama dia rasanya kaya ngobrol sama temen aja, terus dia baik banget, terus dia memotivasi kami biar jadi anak nakal huekekek. Dan dia suportif banget, bukannya nyecer atau apa pas ngeliat timeline BT yang amburadul, dia malah ngebantuin ngerevisi. Pokoknya M23 harus sukses, BT-nya harus bagus, Takitri-nya harus berkualitas dan laku keras. Iya emang baru seminggu, belom tau kenyataannya gimana, tapi tak ada salahnyo ambo bermimpi *mabok*

TERUS gue sedih banget kemaren gabisa nonton speech Obama abis yang dikirim dari sekolah gue cuma anak OSIS doang huuuuu. Rasanya pengen banget ketemu sama doi terus foto bareng terus meluk (yang terakhir agak creepy) AH RASANYA PENGEN BANGET KETEMU DIA tapi susahnya setengah mampus metbanget deh. Mungkin ntar gue yang ke DC buat ketemu dia? Amin ajadeh.

TERUS TERUS TERUS kenapa subject "Amira punya pacar" selalu jadi bahan tertawaan di keluarga gue. Like that one time my mom asked me "Kok kamu pacarannya Islami banget sih?" as an insult towards the fact that I don't go out with my boyfriend, um, even worse, I don't see him that much even though we go to the same school and his class is above the class which is next to mine. Or that one time my brother teased me about how communicating via MSN or text messages itu kaya anak kecil. Dan lain-lain. Iyasih memang cara pacaran gue ~~agak~~ sangat aneh buat ukuran anak SMA. Di saat Kak Upal dateng dan ikut ngasih surprise buat Kak Karin abis tanding di hari ulangtahunnya, atau Kak Mima dan Kak Danang lagi pacaran kaya dua anak kecil ilang, gue malah lagi sibuk virtually-dating through sms. Or when I told him I bought a new Instax cam terus ngajak foto bareng, we had to plan the whole thing dan akhirnya gajadi karena dia mau ngurus ini itu padahal orang yang mau dia urusin akhirnya gamasuk jadi dia gak ngapa2in juga akhirnya. Aneh banget sih orang pacaran biasanya nyamperin gausah direncanain, ini ngerencanain udah kaya bikin timeline. Tapi ada bagusnya juga sih, my friend had a problem when all of a sudden her boyfriend became so busy, sementara gue.........daridulu udah dicuekin jadi gak peduli lah, atau ada temen gue yang lain sampe gaikut rapat karena ngambek sama pacarnya (as crazy as this sounds, it's true) I could go on and have a friggin argument but still managed to attend meetings, better yet, the fact that we're not THAT close justru pada akhirnya ngebikin gue jarang berantem. Yakali deh mau berantem, ketemu aja jarang. Ups jadi curhat^^

Terus (terus mulu bentar lagi nabrak pager) gue gasuka ya sama orang yang ngerasa lebih tinggi tapi tau2 sok mau ngurusin sesuatu yang dia rasa lebih rendah. Jilat tuh air liur lo, fuck.

Okay, that's all. Brb ngerjain tugas zubzi.

Life, Oh Life

2010-11-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

God's giving me something in return for all the failures yang gue alami tahun ini. Yep, when they say Tuhan itu maha adil, +1 on that wgwg. Walaupun masih ada yang gak jelas, kayak nasib persoftballan gue masih aneh, tapi kayanya everything else seemed to be going quite well.

1. Lolos tes Nacel! Yeah, tapi gue belom ngambil hasil cuy, baru dikasitau doang sama Reva kalau gue lolos. Alhamdulillah nih, apalagi waktu itu gue bela2in gaikut tes AFS demi seleksi Junior terus tau2 gaketerima juga, haha, tapi sekarang gue malah bingung mau ambil atau nggak, karena gue pengen kuliah di NUS, terus kan rempong kalo mau ngurusin pendaftarannya dari US. Ini juga masih ada wawancara keluarga dll. Huffffff, tiba-tiba nyokap gue juga gajelas.

2. Media Siswa XXIII! I was pretty bummed out about not getting something else yang berhubungan sama ini, it's not like I wanted it, it just sucks to lose. Kemaren udah sertijab, terus alhamdulillah gue jadi Waka 1 kikikikik tapi tanggung jawabnya besar ya ngurusin BT dan Takitri. Terus kemaren baru juga sehari, tiba2 udah disuruh ngebut bikin ini itu, met banget deh. Tapi gapapa deh, cos I've got amazing partners. Lucu ya fotonya kaya foto keluarga, itu yang paling kanan binatang peliharaan. Game of fate (sok) tapi emang iya sih, mengingat gue gaikut apa yang diikutin sama Oddy dan Adila, terus gue bahkan gaikut apa yang diikutin sama Oddy dan Aga, tapi I still managed to earn the ketua's trust huekekekek.

3. BEAVERS! Don't you just love being in a group with a bunch of people who are......argh they're indescribable. Pokoknya bener-bener deh, ikut Beavers is one of the reasons why gue masih bertahan di SMA 8, dan salah satu alesan gue masih menapakkan kaki di atas gravel (ea gaya) Kemaren kami juara 2 Gonz Fest loh! Tapi yaudah sampe situ aja, detail nya gamau dikasih tau hehe. Walaupun kadang suka bikin kesel, apalagi kalo bikin error yang parah banget, I still love em. Apalagi sekarang udah ada adek kelas yang bisa dibully........candadeng, tapi Pabel emang minta dibully banget sih.

4. Sebenernya yang keempat bukan sesuatu yang baru sih. Let's just say kalau di awal tahun ini gue gacin banget sampe bikin posting galau yang saking alaynya akhirnya gue hapus, now I've got someone else who's a kazillion times better than the old fling LOLZZZ. The old one, well, things are a whole lot better between us now, and he would go over those embarrassing moments and tease me about em, it pisses me off but then we'd have a good laugh about how menjijikan I was back then, after all, like it or not, I have to cope with this loser cos I'm working with him now. And I've made peace with the girlfriend as well. So yeah, things are working out well.

UMMMM

2010-10-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

RIP Grandpa.

My grandpa passed away on Friday, after battling....apa coba penyakitnya, saking banyaknya I couldn't name it one by one, well, point is, he's been in the hospital for a month and spent 3 weeks out of it in the ICU.

I was never close to him. In fact, gue nggak terlalu deket sama keluarga bokap gue. Pas gue dikasihtau over the phone sama nyokap gue that he passed, I wasn't shocked. He's been in a pretty bad condition for weeks, with all that hose running down his throat to supply air to his lungs (ngilu) and all of those infus and alat cuci darah and stuffs. But when I saw his body lowered to the ground, I actually cried. I mean, bahkan ketika lo nggak deket sama seseorang, tapi begitu dia meninggal, he's gone forever. Like he's never going to come back. And I would have the courtesy to sit in his favorite chair without my mom bugging me to get up so that he could sit there. Oh salah. I mean, it feels weird, like if my parents drag me to my grandparents' house in Bintaro, gue udah nggak harus salam sama kakek gue lagi. And my parents won't get involved in a seemingly endless conversation with him about health related issues. And I would never ever hear his voice ever again, I still remember what he sounds like, tapi I have completely forgotten what my other grandpa, whom I was closer to, sounded like. Wew, I just realized that I'm grandpa-less now.

Anyways, moving on to another subject. I have membulatkan my tekad to attend NUS. Tapi baca tentang admission nya di website nya aja udah pusing setengah mampus. Yang bisa gue simpulkan dari info yang gue dapat adalah, gue mau ambil double degree in business and economics di Faculty of Art and Social Science NUS, terus dapet OCBC International Undergraduate Scholarship karena emak gue dari dulu selalu berkoar2 biar gue dapet beasiswa. Atau nggak mau ANU/NUS Hons Degree, jadi 4 semester di NUS, 4 semester di Australia National University, which ranks higher than NUS di ranking THE dan QS. Now I gotta bust my ass off biar bisa keterima. UGH BERJUANG MIR!

Oh ya terus gue disuruh pindah ke apartemen tante gue di Casablanca Mansion. Pengen sih tapi gamau sendirian, aku takut (imut) Terus gue gatau ntar naik apa ke sekolah, kalo naik angkot bingung naik yang mana. Mau naik sepeda ntar sampe sekolah apek dan anyep HIHHH. Tapi gue pengen banget pindah ke apartemen itu, selain bisa melatih kemandirian (ketauan ngibulnya) gue emang punya semacem obsesi pengen tinggal di apartemen sejak dahulu kala, terus it's much closer to my school, and when I say much, beneran MUCH. I spent 3 hours on a trip home from school earlier today, IMAGINE THAT, if I was in a plane I would probably have landed in Thailand. Terus nyampe rumah udah exhausted as evahhh, boro-boro kepikiran mau ngerjain PR (padahal sekarang malah main komputer)

Terus buat elo, iya elo, kalo lo baca, ya lo tau kan maksud gue elooooo wakak. Cheer up, buddy! Whatever's bugging you, well, itu gapenting karena you've got other goals to chase, bigger ones, the ones that would actually affect your future. Gatau deng masalahnya penting atau nggak. Keep on smiling aja, walaupun senyum lo jelek, huekekekek. If you smile, through your fear and sorrow, smile, and maybe tomorrow, you'll find out, that life is still worthwhile, if you just SMILEEEEEE.

Terus.....................selamat buat PO XLVI, PK XVII dan para ketua subsi, semoga dapat memajukan SMA Negeri 8.

Dan gue masih galau. Wish this galauness akan terangkat soon.

281010

2010-10-28T06:56:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Oddy Pradityo sebagai Ketua Mesis XXIII! Wuihi senangnya, sesama koor dulu pas Heksa sekarang jadi petinggi subsiku tercintahhh. The best of luck, Oddzzz! Mudah-mudahan bisa membawa Mesis menuju kesuksesan, bleh.

Terus tadi pas pengumumannya, kan kita nyeplokin Oddy, pake duit gue pula beli telor dan tepung dan sirupnya jadi kepada Ang. Mesis XXII yang membaca posting ini, harap uang saya diganti. Seru banget wgwgwg jadi awalnya cuma tepung doang, terus pas Oddy lagi bengong gue panggil and I crushed an egg right on top of his head. And then pas sirupnya udah kebuka, I quickly grabbed the bottle from Aga terus nyiram dia with it, but he snagged the bottle away from me and splashed me back. Jadi pas selesai, gue keluar dengan kondisi paling menjijikan padahal gue bukan 3 besar caka lolzzz. And I managed to rub some butter onto the face of si ketua Mesis XXII, tinggal goreng aja deh.

Anyways, something really got me bummed out a few days ago. And even until now, I'm still kinda galau. I felt like an utter failure, this practically adds another item di daftar kegagalan gue selama tahun 2010. My brother told me that I should make a fail blog, whilst the real fail blog mengulas tentang hal-hal epic fail, mine is gonna be about failures, literally. But what the heck, so after a few days of mourning (loh kok mourning sih) I lifted my chin up and moved on with life. World, you could knock me down a million times but you know I am always going to stand up and keep on walking, better and stronger by each time. Tapi jangan dijatohin terus bisa kali, capek juga.

And then I realized kalo ternyata gue udah jauh banget sama dunia. Iya, 8 practically ate up my life. Tadi I had to go to some sort of public services exhibition with XI IPS, and then I went to stand-nya kementrian keuangan. And the host came up to me, and this is what happened:

Host: Kamu mau kerja di kementrian keuangan nanti?

Amira: IYA! Saya pengen jadi menteri keuangan!

H: Coba, nama menkeu yang sekarang menjabat siapa?

A: ..............

H: Baca koran ya!

Jleb. Gue inget nama depannya Agus, tapi nama belakangnya lupa, all I remembered was that it started with an M. Beneran deh malunya pol banget. My mom told me that my life practically revolves around school right now. She's right. What happened to the old me? The Amira that reads the newspaper everyday. Gue pengen berubah. I keep complaining about how I wanna change but I've never exactly put any effort buat berubah. Otak gue kacau banget sekarang. I complain too much. I think too much. I worry too much. Dalam kadar sedikitpun sifat2 itu udah nggak bagus, apalagi kalo berlebihan? Stop it, Mir, stop (slaps self)

Ngantuk ah, selamat hari pemuda semuanya!

TIRED

2010-10-24T06:08:00.000-07:00

HADUH hari ini capek mental banget.

Pagi-pagi udah harus ke sekretariat Nacel di Bintaro buat tes wawancara dan diskusi panel. Mampus banget deh tadi gue pas diwawancara udah bener-bener pasrah jadi ngomong seenaknya. Abis dipojokin banget sama interviewernya berasa lagi dik***r. Sampe tadi saking bingungnya mau ngomong apa, pas lagi ditanyain "Kalo mereka gatau Asia dimana, kamu mau jelasinnya gimana?" yaudah gue ngedumel, "Go get a map." Tapi emang bener kan.......lagian apakah orang Amerika separah itu geografinya? Apa jangan-jangan iya? Gatau deh capek. Terus tadi diskusi panel, ya not so bad, at least I got to talk lah dikit-dikit. Kalau ntar gak diterima ya pasrah aja deh, emang mungkin bukan ini yang terbaik. We'll see.

Terus hari ini harusnya tanding lanjutan buat Turnamen Pelajar lawan Labs. TAPI anak-anak Labs-nya pada gatau kalau hari ini ada tanding. Ya jelas lah gue minta biar menang WO aja, udah susah-susah anak Beavers pada dateng ke lapangan terus dengan seenaknya minta diundur lagi, gue gak terima. Dikira kita gak ngorbanin waktu buat kesana? The coach, which happens to be in a member of my club as well, complained and ngeles biar pertandingannya bisa diundur lagi. Tapi tim gue gamau, yaudah otomatis kita menang WO okedeh selamat loh selamat. Menang WO nya gak tanggung2 lagi, 21-0.

Oh ya by the way tadi gue foto sama Raditya Dika loh WUIHIHIHI, kan si Gianty Kianty main di Labsky terus kebetulan tadi kakaknya tercinta lagi nontonin, yaudah deh abis ngemis2 ke Tante Mia, akhirnya Tante Mia bilang ke Raditya Dika nya. Terus pas gue mau foto, gue salaman terus dia sok memperkenalkan diri, "Radit!" ea ea ea dikira gue gakenal lu siapa, hah? Terus foto, terus seneng, karena dari sejak gue satu tim di Labsky sama si duo kembar itu, which is like 2 years ago, baru kesampean sekarang. Ternyata dia ganteng juga wakak. Terus ada the famous Edgar juga, awalnya gue cuma ngeliat doi, sebenernya Fanny sih yang heboh, "Mir, ada Edgar, Mir, ada Edgar!!!!!!!!" terus Andraya nanya2 "kakaknya mana ya?" tiba-tiba dia muncul. WAW. WAW. WAW. Seneng dikit deh. Tapi terus senengnya digusur kebetean yang memuncak.

By the way, I've turned my cell's internet service off for the moment, karena ceritanya mau fokus belajar. Ngantuk parah nih dari siang di lapangan, TTYL READERS!

Btw itu cbox gue yang ngisi gajelas banget sih, apa gue apus aja ya? Mau ganti header ah. Oh ya visit http://eyedecay.blogspot.com coolest blog evah, blog nya si Smita fotonya keren-keren buka ya! (promosi)

HAPPY

2010-10-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST (jijik) BOYFRIEND (makin jijik)

Well, it's been quite some time since I last posted. I was pretty occupied with my mid-term exams and Tesis. Bagaimana mid-nya? So-so, I did quite well but that's it, I could've done better (sok) but I never seemed to mengumpulkan enough semangat belajar, and when I said I didn't study, I really didn't, sementara orang lain munafik banget ngomong2nya belom belajar padahal aslinya udah............oh ya btw nilai matematika gue HA-HA terbagus selama di SMA 8, tapi berapanya.....ya ada lah. Alhamdulillah paling tinggi di kelas, selama gue masuk SMA neraka itu gapernah gue matematika dapet tertinggi di kelas, tau terharu gak? Lebay dikit tapi seneng ahak ahak.

Nah terus Tesis. WUIHI kalo aja gue gak sakit dan pesanan mug itu gak bikin gue sakit perut, pasti gue udah enjoy to the max banget (apasih) tapi I still enjoyed it though. Paling seneng pas ngabur ke sawah bareng Hiyal, Sikil, Nilam, Fira, Diva, Eja, Radia, Inas, und Bilgis. Tapi abis itu gue sama Hiyal Radia ketangkep sama guru terus kena semprot. Terus kelompok gue, walaupun ancur asik banget, bangun sampe malem buat ngerjain kuesioner sambil curhat (hobi) terus walaupun awalnya berantakan, tapi akhirnya bisa get back on track lagi. Terus anaknya asik-asik, ada Hiyal Radia Maya Nevny Putri Mayang Shey Baput Theo. Terus lucu banget si Baput takut setan sementara Theo bisa liat setan terus kita cerita serem di ruang tamu malem2 A-A-A-A seru banget. Host-dad nya (eaaaaa) juga baik bangetttt masa pas kita jalan pulang, Theo ditelpon dan ditanyain udah sampe mana awawawaw. Terus se-bus sama IPS dan waktu itu sekelas kena semprot, karena apa? Padahal anak IPA juga melakukan tapi tetep aja diskriminasi IPS jadi IPS yang dipojok2in tapi gapapa gue bangga dan senang jadi anak IPS. Anaknya asik dan bener2 less pressure, jadi bawaannya pengen terus berprestasi (gaya padahal males udah kayak kebo) AH GILA dari Jakarta sampe Sumedang dan kebalikannya, gue gabisa nahan ketawa. Peluk IPS!

Terus apalagi ya. Oh ya kemaren gue tes Nacel, mayan lah bisa tapi terus pengetahuan gue soal Indonesia malah yang paling kacau. Masa gue kira Tari Jaipong itu dari Betawi.........parah banget deh HAHA negara sendiri juga, Mir, kaco lu (loh) terus dari tes Nacel tanding deh buat Turnamen Pelajar lawan Labs. Ke lapangan nebeng sama Amel, terus Amel baik banget masa gue dan 5 orang temen gue boleh nebeng padahal doi gakenal sama temen2 gue terus mobilnya sedan jadi pas gue keluar udah soaked with sweat. Terus tandingnya alhamdulillah, dipotong karena hujan tapi we were leading 4-1, terus I striked out 3 batters padahal itu pertama kalinya gue pitching sejak 1,5 bulan yang lalu. Tapi 1 poin masuk gara2 gue terlalu bersemangat lempar ke base 1 padahal gaada yang jaga, abis panik......bawaan. Terus pulangnya ujan2 ke Ratu Plaza dulu hewhew.

Terus hari ini......si cungkring ulang taun. Udah tua aja ya doi 18 taun, jadi kesannya gue punya pacar tua gitu beda 2 taun apa gue yang muda ya (loh) ya gue memang gabisa ngasih sesuatu yang berkesan abis bingung, jadi gue cuma ngasih tripod sama cupcake gitu, itu juga cupcakenya tolol banget, gue gabisa nyalain lilinnya terus sekalinya lilinnya nyala, baru 5 detik udah ditiup erghhh langsung gue tampol itu orang. Terus gue digetok pake tripod udah baik2 dikasih malah disalahgunakan, senjata makan tuan. HAHA pokoknya seneng lah hari ini (loh kok ikutan seneng) tapi emang iya kali ya kalo liat dia seneng kita ikutan seneng, sok bijak nih gue. By the way gue lagi pissed off banget karena one reason.......bukan one malah, tapi banyak bgt, terus kemaren gue curcol sama Kak Karin dan Kak Mima terus ternyata Kak Karin juga pernah digituin sama orang yang sama. BITCH. Oh ya terus semalem gue nungguin sampe jam 12, dia bangun sampe jam 12 tapi karena alesan lain fugggggg tapi jadinya pas jam 12 kan lagi chat di-Skype, yaudah gue telpon aja, tapi malu ahahahaha. Ucul banget sih gue malu2 jadi makin malu.

Dan hari ini harusnya gue sigidagang tapi tau2 tadi diusir guru jadi gatau susulannya kapan. Doain aja deh yang terbaik. Oh ya gue pengen masuk NUS doain juga bisa kali, terima kasih fellas!

Babble

2010-10-07T05:02:00.000-07:00

It's love when you're not afraid to lose them.

(Maybe that's why I won't say I'm in love.

Aside from the fact that to say so when you're a 16 year old is utterly repugnant)

Kok jadi emo ya? I sound Tumblr-ish, I sound like #TumblrSays, I sound like @ihatequotes or @TheLoveStories GAAAAAH. Geli, gangerti kenapa gue suka bingung sama orang emo atau galau, iya sih kadang gue galau tapi gak selalu kannn. Lagian kenapa harus galau kan semuanya udah diatur sama Tuhan, cuma mungkin belum waktunya aja, dan kita gatau mungkin apa yang Tuhan merencanakan sesuatu lain yang lebih baik, true? True, true (Annoying Orange style.......udah jarang nonton) Anyways gue pengen banget photobox tapi yang kayak di luar negeri (as shown above) yang hasilnya strips and stuffs, wgwgwg, apalagi kalo item putih, kan bagus. Tapi disini gak ada. Lagian gak ada yang bisa diajak photobox juga HAHA gakdeng kesannya gue ansos banget. Mau suasana yang berbeda aja~ Jangan mikir yang nggak-nggak.

Ohya ada puisi Jerman dari buku Kontakte Deutsch. Gue gatau judulnya apaan, kalo gue suruh milih, gue bakal ngasih judul puisi ini Dengarkan Curhatku. WKWKWKWKWK candadeng.

Ich sage.
Bitte, erklar das.
Ich verstehe das nicht.
Aber du horst nitch einmal zu.

Ich sage
Bitte, entschuldige.
Das ist schwer.
Aber du denkst nitch einmal nach.

Ich sage,
Bitte, beachte mich.
Und beantworte meine Fragen.
Aber du schaust mich nicht einmal an.

Besuch mich, sage ich.
Wir beginnen neu.
Aber du passt nicht einmal auf.

Doain ulangan matematika. Wassalam.

You Always Want What You Can't Have

2010-10-06T04:45:00.000-07:00

Eh udah hari ke-3 mid test nih. Dari 6 ulangan, yang nilainya udah keluar baru 2, Pkn sama TIK. Terus nilai Pkn gue alhamdulillah bgt padahal pas belajar ketiduran sampe 5x trs ada gosip gue mau diangkat anak sama Bu Fery karena nilai TF sama mid gue bagus wgwg candadeng tapi galucu. Alhamdulillah deh pokoknya, padahal seumur2 di SMA 8 gue gapernah dapet Pkn bagus, pasti mepet mulu. Terus TIK hehe alhamdulillah gak remed, nilainya gak parah2 amat lah tapi ya.......gue gak belajar, tau gitu kan gue belajar #penyesalanselaludatangbelakangan

Oke enek juga ngomongin mid-test, oya gue mau pergi Tesis tanggal 14-16 tapi gatau juga deh yang bener jadinya kapan. Males tapi kinda excited, penasaran ntar ngapain aja HEHE. Berarti ntar tanggal 18 gue disini dong ya, hmmm males ah ntar harus masuk sekolah........wkwkwk. Bukan deng tanggal 18 kan..................

Oya hari Minggu kemaren gue tanggal 3an sama si cungkring dari gua hantu~ cie selamat ya. Terus dia minta dibeliin karage buat ulangtaun. AH HIDUP INI ANEH.

Terus lagi kesel nih sama orang (yaiyalah masa kupu-kupu) dude you should really back off, I could scratch my claws across your face if you even dare to go one step further. Look, I'm not trying to set any barriers, it's just that............I'm starting to wonder whether or not the rumors are true. Or is it only because you can't have it jadi sekarang you're yearning for it? Status selalu diikuti oleh peranan (malah ngelantur) jadi bersikaplah seperti apa yang orang harapkan dari kedudukan anda UHHHHHH

Bad headache, that's all from me peeps, catch ya latahhhh (maksudnya later)
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Sappy

2010-10-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

My grandpa's in the ICU, my dad's dad. He had some problems with his lungs and blah blah blah, gangerti juga. Well, although we're not very close, I hope he gets better soon, cos it's just sad to see someone that old suffer on a hospital bed with a hose running down his throat to help him breathe. It's not my first time though, I mean, seeing one of my family members in the ICU. My aunt, who was practically like my second mother (and she treats me like her own daughter because she doesn't have a child) had breast cancer when I was in 5th grade. I remember I got home one day and then my mom was standing by the door and she had our suitcases packed, and she told me "we're going to Singapore tonight" and so we got on a flight that very night, without my dad and brother. The thing that I remembered most was when I got there, she was practically paralized, her condition was a whole lot worse than my grandpa. She was bloated and dark-colored liquid was being pumped out of her body because she couldn't function anymore. She was bald, but she still looked beautiful though, all her life, she's always been admired for her beauty. When I got there, I was scared at first but then I went up to her and told her, "as soon as you're well, we'll go on a vacation to Bali" cause that was her favorite holiday destination. I asked my mom why she took me all the way to Singapore (she was admitted into NUH, rumah sakitnya NUS) and then she told me that before my aunt collapsed into a coma, she was asking for me. There was no more hope because she was really out of shape, so maybe the only reasaon she's still surviving was because she was waiting for me (according to my mom's theory, that is) And 2 days after I arrived in Singapore, she passed away.

Curhat nih. The thing that I am trying to sampaikan here is that, sometimes people hold on through pain for the ones they love. And then there's my other grandpa, the one from my mother's side. He had lung cancer, a few months after his 50th wedding anniversary sama nenek gue. My mom told me whenever he was in pain, he always told his children to bring my grandma out of the room so she wouldn't have to see him suffer. And when he was about to face death, he told his children to take a good care of my grandma.

Terus yang sekarang aneh juga, my grandpa was admitted to the hospital the next day abis ulangtaun pernikahan ke 50 sama nenek gue juga. We had dinner on this really expensive steak house on Saturday night and on Sunday night my dad got a call from my uncle that my grandpa had trouble breathing. Terus he doesn't want my grandma to see him, and then setiap kali my grandma got into the room, he became unstable, as if in a way antara dia gengsi nenek gue ngeliat dia lemes atau emang dia gamau ngeliat nenek gue sedih, salah satu in both lah.

It's just sweet, you know? Even until 50 years of marriage, some people still couldn't stand seeing their loved ones upset. I'm still young, but I hope that one day I'd have someone who'd stay through pain just to make sure I wouldn't get worried. I don't know who that person would be (hopefully some James McAvoy lookalike, and a Brit wgwg cos I love their accents) but I know he's out there, probably in England (maksa) oke ngaco deh mau nonton How I Met Your Mother ah.

HHHHHH

2010-09-27T09:17:00.001-07:00

I am super galau right now. I'm starting to hate the word because of its frequent usage, but that's pretty much the only word that could describe my situation right now.

I just got back from Singapore. Oh how I wish I could just stay there, so I wouldn't have to go back to this living hell. The first message I received on BBM was from my friend, I can't remember who, telling me of this task that I have to complete. Actually I'm pretty aware that it's gonna be given sometime soon. To tell you the truth, I got a few hints along the way so I wasn't that shocked. I was so tired, my plane was delayed so I got home pretty late on Friday, I overslept on Saturday then my parents forced me to go to my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary dinner and when I got home, someone texted me that I had to get another job done, which involves the same orgggg but for a different program. So I stayed up til 1 to finish it, then I was told to make another article, so I stayed up til 2.30 but when I finished, I got a message saying that it's not needed anymore.

And then the task, ain't gonna say much bout it. It was rough, and I think I might have flunked but I don't know. My printer broke so I had to e-mail the file to my cousin and asked her to print it, imagine, 4 copies of 8 full-color pages. And I picked it up before I got to school, and managed to give it in on time. I took a peek at some of my friends' work. 8 outta 12. 6 enlisted me based on what I wanted, 1 did on my 2nd choice, and 1 didn't at all. Wgwgwg whatev by the way, I accidentally made a list that's totally similar to one of my friends'. We had a chat during an event that only both of us out of the others attended, and I guess that's practically why we somehow managed to merge our ideas and visions. I put people in posts that's not their first preference, but I'm only doing this because things cannot only be based on desire but also by skills etc etc.

And there's this one thing, like when you got things mixed up. Hehe but that's personal. UMMMM I get nervous easily. I'm confident but in a way confidence had knocked me down a few times this year, in a way almost everything I wanted turned its back on me. I just don't feel like failing......who does? But I'm gonna get thru this cos I'm strong. Strong as the current and I'm gonna whip your boats away. I know I am. My mom didn't raise a coward, if there's one person that's gonna be on top, it's gonna be me. (over confidence) (self-motivating) I am America's Next Top Model~
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DOR

2010-09-21T18:22:00.001-07:00

HEY! Okay this is probably the first time in my life that I'm skipping school for four days in a row. I'm not ill, nor bolos, eh iyadeng bolos. Where am I exactly? Well, last night I walked along Orchard Road. Tau kan?

Anyways, I'm here with my mom, aunt, and grandma. I was supposed to go alone but then my grandma expressed her desire to come along, and so we departed on Tuesday. And I'm staying in a swanky 5 stars hotel and everything in the mini bar is free - well they should be, a night's stay here costs as much as my cell phone. Good news is, no one in my room is paying a penny for it, well, my mom has to at first cos she made the reservation, tapi......yaudahdeh wgwg.

I don't really have much to say right now. I just want to say, I don't know whether or not the thing that you DM-ed me was true, but if they are..........you have no idea of how thankful I am to have a friend like you, you rock! Wgwgwgwg okay screwed grammar, screw grammar. Buhbye!
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ANTM Cycle 100

2010-09-17T11:00:00.001-07:00

I AM OBSESSED WITH ANTM!!! Telat gak? I know I look tough and boyish on the exterior, truth is I'm not all that jeger, ya know? I like makeovers and these modeling stuffs they have on the show, not to mention they take great photos with unique concepts and stuffs. My favorite contestant is Raina Hein, she's a goddess. But I've only watched cycle 13 to 15 so I can't say much. I've seen the winners from cycle 1 until 12 though, I think Adrianne Curry, Yoanna House, and Eva Pigford are gorgeous, but ever since, in my opinion, there has been a declination of quality. I think they did fine on cycle 13 tho, Nicole is beautiful.

And I've streamed cycle 15 on Youtube. My faves are Kayla, Kendall, and Liz. And it turns out that Kayla is a lesbian but her bullying photoshoot (she had the word 'queer' written all over her body - making her teary during the shoot) looks so fierce. And Ann, she wasn't my favorite at first cos I thought she looked kinda odd, you know? But then I saw her bullying photos and I was amazed. The girl really has potential.

And I'm blabbing about ANTM bukannya belajar oh well. Anyways, I was pretty inspired by the photos that I decided to do a photoshoot myself. Nothing spectacular though, they look so amateur but I don't care. Cuma buat kepuasan pribadi wgwgwg.

This is my current Twitter avatar. I love the eyes, tapi itu editan wakak, those aren't my real eyes, I got it from the picture "Afghan Girl" atau apa gitu judulnya, it's a famous photograph, Google it up. And the lips, well I did use my mom's bright red lipstick but I added a few touches with photoshop cos they weren't red enuff.

Okay, I gotta admit, this picture's kinda scary. I took this in my mom's bathroom. I made it black and white and played with the levels, but I kept my lips red cos I like to accentuate them. During primary school, everyone teased me for having thick lips but I liked them and I still do. I also elongated my hair using Photoshop, I really want my hair to grow longer, but I grew tired of waiting that I often chop them when they reach shoulder length. My boyf texted me and said "MIR AVATAR LO SEREM BANGET GASUKA" when I set this pic as my avatar. Okay aneh ya referring to the subject as...that.

I took this shot months ago. Juandri said I look like an ANTM contestant wgwg can't tell whether he was being sarcastic or honest. I did put on my mom's blue eyeshadow but I touched it up a little with the computer so the color will pop.

This picture was taken when I went hunting with my luffly ang mesis. I did a spontaneous photoshoot with Juandri and Caca, that's why I got black eyeliner on. I edited the eyes, the others are real. Nggak deng, I kinda 'applied' some blush and lipstick, virtually wgwgwg.

Oke deh itu doang, maaf gapenting. Eh suka-suka gue dong, blog juga blog gue.

Because You Loved Me

2010-09-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

Gakuat nih, sebenernya gapenting juga gue ngepost ini, tapi liriknya bagus banget sampe gue literally mau nangis. Kalo aja ada yang mau nyanyiin gue ini. Kalo aja ada orang yang bisa ngebuat gue ngerasa ini, atau ada yang bisa dibuat gue ngerasa ini. AH PARAH WEY LIRIKNYA INDAH~~~ pengen deh DVD Hit Man David Foster and Friends tapi gapunya duit, terus pengen copy dari Bu Sandra tapi pengennya sekarang juga, at this very second. Pengen nonton Hit Man David Foster pas dia ke Jakarta, katanya bawa Natalie Cole, Charice, dkk tapi tiket plg murahnya sejuta dan itu di belakang. HUHU udah deh ini liriknya.

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME

Celine Dion

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

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Mabok Ketupat

2010-09-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

DUDE I JUST WATCHED THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!! Tadi gue sampe di rumah nenek gue jam 7 malem gitu kan, udah tepar banget pengen tidur, tau2 ada 3 Idiots. Kata orang bagus, so I decided to keep my eyes wide opened. DAN filmnya bagus banget, kreatif paraaaaaaaah. Gue gapernah tertarik film Bollywood, abis, well, who would stand 2 hours of singing behind pillars. Don't get me wrong, I love musicals, but Bollywood musicals... their music is not on my preferred list. Not to mention I've grown this weird phobia towards South Asian people since kindergarten, caused by a classmate who happens to be Pakistani, she picked on me often.........and that's a whole other story.

Anyways, I found this movie very inspirational and witty, not to mention Raju and Ranchu ganteng banget awkawkawk. Terus storyline-nya exciting, and the way ceritanya dituturkan juga unik. AAAAAAA parah gue gapernah nonton film dan ngerasa segininya. I have became obsessed. Oke, gajelas. Tapi beneran, I would give the damn movie a thousand thumbs up, and since I only have two thumbs, I recommend 499 of you fellas to watch this, cos I need an extra 998 thumbs!!!

Tapi tadi filmnya ngeselin. Kan ada di SCTV tapi subtitlenya ilang terus karena iklan, terus commercial breaknya feels like forever (lebay) DAAAAAN to make it worse, kentang banget masa bersambung deh. That's why I decided to find the rest of the movie in Youtube. As per usual, I like em quotes, so I'm gonna mencantumkan 3 disini, Goddamn it saking banyaknya gue sampe bingung karena all of em are so full of WIT, I LOVE WIT!!!

"Follow your talent, if Michael Jackson's dad forced him to be a boxer and Muhammad Ali's dad pushed him to be a singer, imagine the disaster." - Ranchu

"Make your passion your profession." - Ranchu

And this one, the sweetest one of all, a convo between Pia and Ranchu when they finally meet.

P: So?

R: So what?

P: Do you love someone?

R: Yeah.

P: (looks away) Who?

R: You.

(am actually offending someone) Hey doofus, read these. NO, I don't expect you to tell me you love me cos I know you do............JK!!! I really don't, cos that's just.............more disgusting than dog poo (jahat) I expect you to read the first and second one, I'm NOT trying to make you change your mind cos it's definitely out of my control. What I'm trying to tell you is that, do what you love. And if you've set your choice on the choice that actually came in second at first, it's okay. I'm sure that you're trying to find a way that'd suit you and other's expectation towards you, I just want you to love it and never regret it. That's right, no regrets. Besides, you're creative, you've got tons of ideas stocked inside that disproportional head of yours, and I know you're gonna find a way to make it work for you, for everyone and I'm certain that you will find ways to be able to enjoy whatever it is your gonna do in the future. I don't know of whether or not I'm gonna be there with you to watch you succeed, cos only God knows what'll happen, right? Maybe we're not gonna be with each other, and within 15 years I'd be in my office (UNDP headquarters in NYC) and you... maybe you're gonna be... I don't know, anywhere you wanna be, but anywhere there is, I expect you to be showcasing your latest innovation, and succeeding, and loving what you do. Really, gak akan ada yang tau kan? Anyways, you get my point, whatever happens you're gonna succeed and I'll be happy for your success (ewh I sound sappy) and in case you still have doubts about the decision you're making (and it's okay to have doubts cos this is a big life-changing decision), stream the movie online, or buy the friggin DVD, or..........I DON'T KNOW, JUST WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE ASAP!!! By the way, you need to get out of that house at some point, or else I'm gonna drag your fucking ass away from it for a day, bad thing is I don't even know where on earth your house is located. I don't even know when's your birthday. LOL I could look it up in Facebook but then I'd be obliged to give you a birthday present HA-HA.

Anyways, have you read that Terry Jones had canceled the Quran burning? God bless him for not making a fool of himself. A Jakarta Post journalist named Muhamad Ali stated that many Muslims are expected to be tolerant of others when part of others continues to show prejudice toward them. And I totally agree. Besides, not all Muslims are...bad, you know? Like some might be radicals, but some are rather liberal, like me. Okay, perhaps I'm slightly more liberal than the term liberal itself, in the sense of sometimes I'm late for my prayers (and I get scowled at for doing so) and I haven't even mengkhatamkan Quran once - am not proud of it but I wanna change, I really do. UH kehilangan fokus, point is, every individual holds on to their believes with different, um... intensities? Every religion has their radicals, and their liberals, but we are all made different so that... imagine if we're all the same? What a boring world would that be, and we're expected to embrace that difference. So learn to tolerate diversity.

What else? Oh ya, Eid Mubarak, y'all! Let's start things new and pile up more deeds instead of sins! Mohon maaf lahir dan batin. And big apology for this post. It's one heck of a train wreck but I'm trying my best to update walaupun ngantuk, cos I know how y'all get upset every time you open my page and see no new posts. Just kidding, see yaaaaaaaa!

A Lot Like Love But Definitely Isn't

2010-09-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

"And they did have fun, though it was a different kind now. All that yearning and anguish and passion had been replaced by a steady pulse of pleasure and satisfaction and occasional irritation, and this seemed to be a happy exchange; if there had been moments in her life when she had been more elated, there had never been a time when things had been more constant."

One Day, David Nicholls

Yeah, well, there was never any passion, and things are not that constant, but they are slightly steady in a way. Sometimes it bores me, you know? Like... whenever I fell for someone, everyday seemed like another episode of some cheap soap opera. But now it's different. There's no drama, no climax, there's not even any kontak langsung. Definitely bukan tipe pacaran anak SMA pada umumnya.

At first it seemed so wrong. Whenever my classmate got a visit from her boyfriend during recess, I could feel a sudden rush of... envy, ummm no, it's not envy, it's more of a wonder. And everyone would start asking me, are you guys still on or isn't yours gonna drop-by.

But then I realized that maybe all of that isn't necessary. Having a boyfriend, to me, is to have someone to fall back on when you feel as if you're about to drop to the ground, or to have someone to cheer you up when you're feeling down. He doesn't show his emotions or affections, even I still question their existence. But one thing I know is I could yell at him whenever I'm upset, and he never fails to crack me up even when I think no one could make me smile.

Don't get this in a crappy way, okay? I don't know how long things are gonna last, and I know I would probably regret posting this if things don't work out, but I'm happy with the way they are right now. God knows what'd happen but it's best to enjoy the moment, right?

You can't always get what you want, we're different, we're unique, and that's the way I like it. Happy 3rd day of the month!

Asal Nih Nulisnya

2010-08-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Man, I am so fucked up tadi gue udah nulis blog post panjang2 tiba2 ilang like what's up with that DAMN YOU BLOGGER!!! Anyways, I haven't posted in like... a week? And I feel sorry for you guys cause I know you're practically addicted to my posts and y'all gotta miss me like hell, that is why I decided to present to you my world-famous-curcol-posting! Is the word 'posting' even a noun, it's supposed to be a verb but I DON'T CARE it's not like anyone gives a shit about grammar anymore this days and it seems like mine's screwed up, FMFL (fuck my fucking life)

So, what's new? Nothing much. I hate being shallow by the way. I think SMA 8 has changed me a lot, in both good and bad ways that is. Not that I don't want to mention the benefits I got from enrolling into a school that resembles infernoooo (who wants to go to a school up the thorny hill? That was supposed to be a joke but I assume it wasn't funny) it's just that... well, I feel like curhat-ing right now and I know it made me seem like a ratu curhat which I probably am, at least that's what my friends told me.

I feel so occupied with school lately. Not just with my studies but also with my friends, my peers, stuffs like that. I like being socially adept, remembering of how I was such a loner during junior high. But then again, I hate the fact that I got carried away, and these days it seems like my world revolves on this small comfort zone I'm living in. I became so addicted to Twitter and Facebook and MSN and BBM that I lost track of the real world, and by real world I mean global issues and current affairs, things that ACTUALLY MATTERS.

I used to open CNN.com everyday and now it's not even on my Google Chrome thumbnails. I used to read the newspaper daily and now I only do so at least once in 2 weeks. I used to love reading novels and now all I read is my Twitter home timeline. What happened to the old me? I guess I'm enjoying my youth because I didn't before, but now it's slowly dragging me towards kesuraman. I wish I could return to the old me, the one who is more interested in Reuters rather than Facebook, the Amira that wanted be different. I don't wanna be a product of mass-production, I don't wanna be ONLY academically-intelligent (not that I am tho) I want to be smart, YES SMART, AND YES they're actually two different words, google it up.

And now I'm confused. I wanna drag my ass towards a better future but they're just too heavy to lift. Alright, I'm gonna start with deleting my ubertwitter, like that'll make a change but who fuckin cares, starting small is better than not trying at all.

And I'm gonna start reading the newspaper daily and delete my unimportant thumbnails. I wish there was a way to block my Twitter account for a while (cause there's no way I'm gonna delete it AGAIN) I'm gonna open CNN.com and Reuters.com everyday, and put an end towards my addiction to People.com, stop tweeting impulsively, and read more novels.

By the way I have put the last plan into action. I bought two novels last week, One Day and Trading Up. Okay I gotta admit that Candace Bushnell's novels are the source of my guilty pleasure (not in a disgusting way that is) and the summary on the back of the book sounded pretty interesting. As for One Day, it's a novel written by David Nichols, who is the author of Starter for Ten, which I haven't read yet but have seen the movie-adaptation as my future husband James McAvoy starred in it. And I am currently reading One Day, and boy do I love it or what? It is somehow parallel to my current situation......eh gak juga sih, but in a way, Dexter reminds me of someone.

D: I think we'd want different things. From a relationship.

E: I can never tell.

D: Are you mad at me?

D: You're sexy and I almost throw up writing this down.

D: I will bring a white rose and that Howard's End novel you gave me and I will throw it at your head.

And how is this correlating to my situation? Eh in a way I think the way Dexter shows that he cares about Emma is... well, he doesn't show it. He keeps mocking her. I don't know of whether or not he cares about me but one thing that I am certain of is that he teases me all the time (ya iyalah certain orang ini mengalami) As cuek as I might seem, and as much as I put him down and call him names, I do care about him tho, although he's undeniably repugnant. To tell you the truth I really don't know whether or not he gives a damn about me cos he has NEVER shown that he does and I stalked his Facebook and found old pics of him and his ex and they were sweet and slightly sappy in a way. Not that I want him to be sappy cos that's just...not right, it's just that, well there are barriers, and there are standards. And people kept telling me that some requirements are to be fulfilled or else he's not a keeper. I guess sometimes I put myself aside during negotiations because I'm afraid of losing (when it comes to stuffs like this that is, cos aside from that I'm probably the most ambitious bitch you'd ever meet) Terus jijik udah deh malah jadi curhat gini (lagi).

Oh ya kemaren maker Beavers, makasih banget ya 2013 I had fun, makanannya enak, acaranya seru, souvenirnya bagus, rumahnya gede (lah kok) terus ada banyak kata-kata alumni yang wajib di retweet:

1. Lo rasain deh, lebih enak disana apa disini, jujur gue sih lebih enak disini - Kak Arif (terus disana sininya disensor buat kepentingan bersama)

2. Lo tuh kalo di 8 pake otak, bukan pake otot, karena kalo menurut gue yang kayak gitu2 itu GOBLOK - Kak Acuk (dan mungkin ini alesan mengapa Beavers jarang menang turnamen)

3. Kekeluargaan itu ngebelain temen lo di saat mereka benar, kalo persaudaraan mau salah atau benar tetep lo belain. Kan lo pinter, ya lo pikir aja sendiri mau milih yang mana - Kak Acuk (lagi)

4. Ah gue tau lu pengen FE karena dicekokin emak lu kan? - Kak Acuk (melulu, dan yang ini retweet personal)

Okay speaking of FEUI, masuk Ilmu Ekonomi UI masih merupakan prioritas utama gue, tapi kalau insya Allah ikut ***** gue pengen ngelanjutin di US aja. Prioritas utama kalau sekolah di US tetep Harvard College, peduli setan mau orang bilang gamungkin, gue rasa gue bisa kok asalkan gue mau usaha #belagu #soktau. Dan pas banget barusan 00:00 jadi gue rasa ini pertanda kalau Allah mendengar doa gue untuk masuk Harvard College. Yang penting sekarang didoakan saja biar dapat yang terbaik. Atau nggak gue pengen belajar journalism, katanya di Columbia bagus ya tapi itu graduate school. Kalo di Monash sih bisa major in journalism and minor in other subjects you're interested in, kayak gue pengen jadi jurnalis ekonomi ya minor in economics aja, tapi kalo di Amerika gatau deh ada atau nggak (berasa beneran bakal pindah) insya Allah beneran sih.

Yaudah nih udah tengah malem, gotta catch some zzzzz, see ya later alligator!

Mes Amies and Mon Ami

2010-08-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

My best pal in the whole wide world (who's practically like a third sibling to me and Omar) aka Smita is leaving for the US for a year karena ikut Nacel. I know, it's only a year, and it'll be over before I knew it, but it's just... I don't know, agak susah dijelaskan. Gue nggak nangis sih pas nganterin, tapi pas pulang langsung nangis kejer, inget jaman SD berantem gara-gara nilai dia lebih tinggi daripada gue terus baikan abis gue beliin Fruit Tea rasa Guava, atau waktu itu berantem karena mau duduk paling pinggir di school bus, terus waktu kelas 4 kita ke acara kawinan sodara gue terus nyokap gue marah-marahin gue dan gue nangis, waktu itu dia juga ikutan nangis. Padahal jaman sekarang udah ada teknologi, ada Facebook, ada Twitter, ada MSN, ada BBM, hah tp tetep aja rasanya beda. Terus baru aja sejam yang lalu dia nge-BBM gue, dia udah sampe di Chi-town. Have a great year, beybbbbb!

Terus Kara sekarang jadi OSIS loh. Ganyangka banget ya, teman dan mantan rekan kerja gue yang satu ini sekarang udah jadi Koor Sior SMA :') udah pake jas abu-abu, calon-calon pengurus Sky Battle. Gue juga pengen jas abu-abu deh jadinya............(lah jadi curhat) Kalo Agustha.............gatau deh kabarnya sekarang tapi dia satu sekolah sama Omar, pengen gitu sekali-sekali reunian wasglob sama mereka berdua und Ami. Kangennya. Kangen Heksa juga.

Terus my softball buddies. Berempat Prambors (ups) si Nia, Andraya und Fanny. Perubahan yang paling kentara sekarang adalah Nia udah nggak segede itu, malah sekarang bisa dibilang dia udah kurus, terus Fanny pantatnya makin bohay aja sampe kayaknya semua orang seneng banget nepokin. Tapi yang paling beda tahun ini adalah, ketiga teman gue udah ikut Junior DKI. Sementara gue... kinda failed di 3/4 jalan haha. Terus mereka juga ikut APT, waktu itu gue mengundurkan diri, tapi gatau deh diitungnya mengundurkan diri apa kecoret karena waktu itu gue masuk di tim big tapi gabisa ikut seleksi lagi karena lagi di Bali.

Terus ada my chairmatesssss (ignore Sam dia numpang foto doang). Sikil, Rahma sama Hijal. Ya mereka waktu itu ngomel-ngomel karena mereka masih kering terus gue...... wakak (pasti gangerti yaudah gapenting juga sih) Tapi sekarang Hiyal keterima 16 besar calon ketua OSIS (ya apalah maksudnya keterima OSIS kaliya) terus Rahma dan Sikil emang udah jadi PK kan. Terus gue? Ya gue punya plan lain, tapi lihat aja deh nanti jalannya gimana.

The thing is, each and everyone of my friends has made or become something in the last tahun ajaran. As for me, I don't know, I'm still stuck in where I am now. I made a few plans though, tapi ya manusia berencana, Tuhan berkehendak. Jadi doakan saja kalau emang ini yang terbaik, insya Allah bakal dikasih (amin) Terus I talked about this to my other best friend (okay cos it still kinda awkward to call him my..........whatev) and he told me, "Ya peduli amat, semua orang punya jalannya masing-masing, berarti jalan mereka emang bukan jalan gue." Ya gak persis gitu sih tapi more or less that's the main idea. It made me feel better though, maybe that's the answer, I have some other path that I need to walk through. And then I realized that thankfully I have someone that I could cherish (lah) although it's not something to be proud of, I'm glad that I still have a friend who really cares, although it seemed like he doesn't give a damn about my what-abouts. I'm still 16, a kazillion opportunities is still waiting for me ahead, who knows what's gonna happen later on, right?

Recent Updates

2010-08-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

Future world leader.

It's been a long time since I last posted. Two weeks, tapi it has felt like forever, remembering how I was such a frequent poster back then. I guess nowadays I've kept myself occupied with activities which are more... useful? Not that posting isn't, but I have priorities. And school's out for tomorrow, my eyes are begging me to turn in but I feel like posting right now.

So, how's life? Great. I've never been so thankful in my life, and I guess what God promised was true, that if we kept thanking Him for all the things He blessed us with, they'd keep coming. Of course I get stressed out now and then, like when all of a sudden my history teacher gave us a test, which feels more like a pop quiz, seeing how it came without notice, but other than than, life has been easy on me.

Well, I guess I should tell you that I'm applying for Nacel. My super duper hyper best friend in the whole wide world a.k.a Smita is leaving for the US this Thursday, dengan program yang sama. I will definitely miss her, she's been my soulmate for as long as I could remember... actually I could, since the first grade. I'm gonna miss her spamming links, and chatting with her on midnights and listen to her babble about how she's going to marry Devendra Banhart and have multilingual children. Although we've parted since high school, idk, it's just different, you know, like we're not gonna be in the same time zone, and that oughta suck. Well, let's just hope next year I'll be the one departing for the states next year, amen.

What about school? Aside from accidentally leaving my precious binder at school, everything seems to be going on quite okay. I'm keeping up with the lessons, I do my homeworks and study at home. That's a total improvement, seeing how lazy I was during the tenth grade. I'm taking notes now. I finally had the motivation to actually pay attention to teachers, despite the fact that I've fallen asleep at class a few times before. And I haven't lost a piece of stationary, and that's a huge leap since I've never had a pencil for more than 2 weeks before, although I think I kinda lost my correction pen earlier today.

What else? Friends? I'm doing fine, thank God for that. My fellas are amazing, I still feel like I'm not fitting in well in social class tho, or is it just me? But I'm trying my best to blend in. And I miss XB like crazeeeeh. Btw I just got home from bukber bareng X-Beriman. Kangen berat, seberat pantat gue.

What else? Oh iya, that. I'm not gonna give you details, if we know each other, you've probably heard about this before. It's kinda weird in a way, cos I never dated anyone before. This is the first time. I thought that it was gonna be awkward but I guess things stayed the same, like I kept harassing him even until now, vice versa.

Oke, maaf postingnya agak kalem. I don't really feel like being explosive today, maybe it's cause I've been pretty grouchy at class lately. Or probably cause now I actually have someone to yell at. I can't compromise with my eyes anymore, see ya later, alligator!

LOL, RYT?

2010-08-04T04:31:00.000-07:00

Ini printscreen tanggal 14 Maret 2010.

I guess time changes everything.

*ketawa guling-guling ke Bukit Duri*

Celebrating A Year of Bittersweet Misery in High School

2010-07-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

Dear past Amira,

It's your first day at SMA 8. I know you're scared, so was I. You've entered a whole new world, which is far different from the one you had during elementary, reckoning that 6 years in a semi-international private school has made you set a high standard on what you would call an ideal school. And yes, although physically, SMA 8 is not the school that you have in mind, but trust me, it's the perfect place for you, it's the stepping stone towards reality, you gotta wake up from that dream sometime soon, right?

Academically, you'll encounter problems you've never thought you faced before. It's a jungle out there, and I mean it. You gotta put effort to stay on track, or others would knock you out, because they'd do anything to get to the top of this game. So far, I must admit I haven't gave it my best, and I regret it. I survived but on an average level, and I know that's your biggest fear, you don't want to be like anyone else, you want to be special. That's why I'm telling you to bust your ass off. The lessons are ten-thousand times harder than the ones you've faced before, your teacher doesn't really care less about how you're catching up with their subjects, or your score, so deal with it. Grow up, because now you can't rely on anyone. You don't have to be scared, because I've been quite lazy and so far I've turned out just fine, but if you want to excel, you can't take things easy.

Moving on to the next subject: Social life. Here, you're social life would improve on a drastic scale. You'll have tons of friends, and join lots of activities. You'll love your class. And you'll make friends with the people you've never thought you would befriend, even until now I'm still surprised that I could actually engage in a conversation with them. You'd love your class and every single thing you join. You don't have to try and be someone else, although you might need to adjust here and there, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to change. Just be the old you, the you during 7th grade, the cheerful and jumpy Amira that the both of us used to know. And you don't have to worry about being alone during lunch, yes if it happens to often it's gonna stink like shit but then again even with numerous amount of friends, you still need some time alone. So who gives a damn about strutting on the hallways all by yourself, or going to the mosque without a bunch of friends, you're you, and even though you need to socialize, you don't have to be clingy. I must remind you that your friends are special, so keep them close. And your older friends are much more special, so even though you're not in the same school with your ultimate best friends, or your other friends, make sure to keep contact with them.

Oh right, and then I know you must've heard about the whole subsi thing. Well, the one you chose is the one you thought you'd choose. I know that ever since the first time you met someone on your first trip to SMA 8 (btw she's one of your closest friends now), and she told you about Mesis, you were hooked. It's one of the biggest sub-section at school, with a total of members slightly smaller that a quarter of the kids in your year. There, you'll meet people you've never thought you'd meet before, and actually become friends with them. But there's always a downside, I know how you tend to focus too much on something, and if you don't get a hold of yourself, you'd screw everything up. So, remember, set your priorities straight and multi-task appropriately. And then you'll join Beavers, I know you've wanted to do so. And trust me, it's not much different than the team you had during junior high, and you'd be so tired of rotating your arm that you'd started yelling at people on field. On the plus size, Beavers would be a huge part of your high school life, and will give a huge boost to your networking, you'll get to know people that you used to see often but never talked in person, not to mention, you get to know (and be known by) Kak ***, I know you've admired him since the 9th grade.

And then softball. Well, you're gonna improve slightly. You're going to go through the Junior DKI selection, but I'm sorry to tell you that you must be prepared to face that you're not really that good at softball, and that the world is not always going to be fair on you. You'd skip practice often because you were too caught up with school, and personally, I regret doing so, because my friends are improving and I'm still where I am. And then you came to a point where you think you wanna give it all up, you even skipped a chance to be in a tournament. I know that this is something you're gonna drop someday, but until then, give it your best. After all it has given you a lot, it has given you amazing teammates, and although you might not learn much about softball itself, it'll teach you about life, and I mean it.

Last but not least, the ickiest part of all. Love life (saying it makes me want to barf) You'd have a crush on a guy whose name I'm not gonna mention, but he sits in front of you on your first day in class, and he's got the same cell as the one you have. So I guess you got the picture. He's gonna turn your world upside down, and you're gonna be some kind of remaja labil. But then again, it's not gonna work out. You're just too different from each other, he has a girlfriend (which makes you one damn bitch for trying to set them apart) and admit it, you didn't like him, you liked the idea of liking him, you liked the idea of him. And I, myself, regret ever saying things I don't mean just because I was too carried away with the situation, and now looking back, I feel utterly disgusted towards myself. So don't fall into the same hole I fell in, it's a false alarm, trust me.

But it's not all that bad you know. If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have met this other guy. Who is he? Well, I can't tell you his name but he's... your boss in a way, your upperclassman. You're gonna be seeing his name on Twitter quite often and think, 'Dude, this guy is lame' and yes, he is lame, he's even lamer than you think. And he'd make you feel like the world's biggest loser, because he knew every single detail of what happened between you and your ex-crush and brings it up every time he feels like making fun of you. He's just............ I don't know, not the kind of guy you'd had in mind. You feel like punching his face every now and then, and he looks like a scare crow. Not to mention he loves to laugh at you and tease you too often. The weird thing is, as much as he annoys you, he became a part of your everyday life. I couldn't even recall the last time I didn't talk to him in a day. Your friendship remains virtual for quite some time, because he'd cover his face up with a sweater every time you walk by, only because he's amazed at how gorgeous you are HAHA. You'd enjoy talking to him, yelling at and crying to him whenever you have a problem, teasing him because of his over-confidence, and belching out lyrics of songs that's playing on your music player. You're gonna have this weird dream about him and realized that he actually means something to you (and I cringe when I said this cause it sounds utterly repugnant), and when he retweeted the lyrics of Can't Fight This Feeling, and somehow it hits you that you can't too. Then he'd tell you how he actually felt about you, and it'll be the most awkward thing that has ever happened to you because you've never had any intention towards him in the first place. But things worked out although on the first day you'd get in a row with him because he seemed confused and reluctant. And you don't know whether to cry or to laugh when he panicked, not because of the things you said, but because you stayed mum. And then he'd tell you of how muna you are whenever you're late for your prayers. He might be the last person you'd ever thought would be your... idk. And things aren't set on stone yet. You're gonna be confused at first and thought, 'This is never going to work out' but afterwards you'd want this to work out. Well, if that guy is reading this, I wish he'd remember that even though status changes, things are gonna be the same, he's still as despicable and disgusting and annoying as ever, and will forever be the asshole he already is. Even until now, I feel like screaming at him for being... him. And he prefers it that way, he'll tell you he'd rather have you torture him than having you being nice, which is probably the weirdest thing anyone has ever told me. He sucks, but you'd deal with it.

Okay, I guess that's all I wanna say. Prepare yourself, it's gonna be a roller coaster. Bumpy but yet you can't get enough.

With all the best wishes,

The Present (and for you, The Future) Amira

X-PO

2010-07-24T20:43:00.000-07:00

Hey fellas, how are y'all doin? I haven't been posting as often as I used to. Which somehow relieves me cos it means my problems are not piling up as they used to. I am currently loving life, and tend to hate it only when I'm a day away from deadlines.

Alright, moving on to the first subject. Social class is...... amazing. 3 hari gabut, bayangin itu. Mungkin emang belom masa-masa susah tapi di saat anak IPA lagi berkutat dengan pelajaran kimia yang kalo dilihat bisa ngebuat botak, gue dan temen sekelas gue masuk TV karena ada acara dari direktorat pajak. Not to mention bisa sehari 6 jam kosong, 2 jam belajarnya gak jelas, terus sisanya baru belajar. I'm enjoying the moment tapi gak boleh kebawa suasana, tapi sepertinya akhir-akhir ini gue agak lenje and it kinda scares me in a way. And the classmates aren't as bad as I thought they were, we're getting along fine, thank God for that.

Second one, expo. Gue harus ngurus 2 expo, sebenernya sih 3 tapi gue adalah sangat gabut di Debate Club. Jadi ada expo Beavers dan Mesis, dan gue agak gaenak karena di Beavers gue agak (baca: sangat) gabut padahal gue kapten (eaaaa) yaudah deh jadi pas hari H gue ngerjain 5 sesi di Mesis dan 10 lagi di Beavers. Terus seneng yang mau ikut Beavers ada 80 orang, tapi kata Kak Karin (mengutip dari Kak Adi Hutotom) 'banyak masuk banyak keluar' Expo Mesis juga asik, temanya airplane gitu kan, yang ngajuin si Cums atau siapa gitu gue lupa. Terus gue jadi MC pas 5 sesi pertama. Terus awalnya gue make baju ketutup banget kan gara2 ceritanya gue jadi pramugari gitu, tapi pas Beavers jadi seksi pake celana pendek (oh salah)

Terus ketiga, softball. Ah gue mau main softball deh udah lama banget gak megang bola. Apalagi kemaren abis ketemu sama temen-temen softball jadi kangen lapangan.

Udahan dulu deh mau ngerjain presentasi ekonomi huffff derita naq IPS.

Miss Me? I Know You Do

2010-07-17T20:32:00.000-07:00

Aaaaaaah udah lama banget ya gue gak ngeblog.

I already got home from Bali (ya iyalah dikira gue mau berapa lama disana) terus sekarang udah masuk sekolah, di kelas XI IPS, kelas paling eksklusif di tiap angkatan karena... ya anggotanya cuma 40 orang. So far, I'm bored. I get along with the class just fine but it seems like everybody doesn't click well with each other. And then I have some issues and all but they're not to be talked about here. Hopefully in the times to come things will get better and I'll get better grades dan pada akhirnya dapet PMDK FEUI, amin.

Terus niatan gue masuk Harvard makin memuncak. Gue pengen ikut bimbel SAT tapi sampe sekarang masih 'pengen' doang, belom nyari info lagi. Sebenernya ada sih di Pondok Indah tapi belom ngecek.

Anyways, I feel kinda gonjang-ganjing lately. And it's all caused by an illusion. Which probably sounds silly but it's true. By the way I went to Kak Cika and Kak Echa's birthday party yesterday, thank you for saving me from boredom.